My H has finally admitted his alcohol problem and what it does to me and the family. Thanks to those who sent replies when I needed a sounding board because after his last binge I really put into action those things that marriage builders spoke of and I am sure they are the reason he has chosen to not drink, something finally hit him and I did not do the same old thing. I still deal with his alcoholic personality though, and that can be nearly as frustrating.

My newest delima, how do I deal with sarcasm, and his inability to never let something drop or just take something at face value. Example; he knows he is not a great driver, can't back up a vehicle if his life depended on it. I bought a new pickup and he is very insulted when I make it clear he needs to drive his car and not my truck for obvious reasons, not to mention the fact that when he wants to drive mine it's because either his air conditioning isn't working or he is out of gas. Yet when we purchased his car and my 15 year old vehicle would be in the shop or his would be he always had a car to drive and I was the one without. Not once did he not have a car. Both are in my name because he can't borrow money. I think he's damn lucky yet he continually berates me when I tell him why he can't take my truck. If it is a necessity I have no problem but not just because he wants to drive it. He came into our marriage with a broken down old car and since has driven one of mine into the ground, his kids destroyed another one and now he has another that, even on the hottest days when I had no air conditioning I never asked to switch for. I don't think I deserve the harsh attitude I get when he makes statements that he is going to take the truck and I make it clear he is not. And by harsh I mean horribly sarcastic and demeaning and acts like a child (in this case like an alcoholic.

How do I appropriately handle this without making it sound to him like I am talking to a child or refusing him equal rights as my husband to drive our truck, and then how do I handle the backlash.

Hi CindyA.

I'm so glad to hear your husband is on the path of sobriety. Does he attend any AA groups or
Alcohol treatment programs. AA helps alot to
work out of those terrible alcoholic behaviors.
They call them the "dry drunk stage" when keeping the behaviors, even though not drinking. He would probably benefit from meetings. You could always bring up to him about the meetings, and then make it his choice.
Possibly even go to a meeting w/ him to get him started. You don't have to talk at the meetings.
Can just go and listen.

As far as the truck is concerned. POJA
sounds like it may be the answer.
Policy of Joint Agreement

Please let me know how everything is going.
Good to hear from you.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep