Who are you? and why do you judge people? You cannot possibly know how someone else feels in this situation therefore you cannot tell someone how to feel, I do not hate oc but neither do I care at all, as far as I am concerned the oc does not exist to me it is ow problem not mine, If h wants to have relationship with oc then I am outta here and that is a fact, The simple fact is it is not for you to say so keep your opinions to yourself unless you want to help

fizz,<P>Hi! I came over here (I'm from the General Questions board) to see if ya'll were still having some trouble.<P>Can I make a suggestion? Don't busy yourself with this... you have so much to deal with in your own life... don't let this one poster get to you. I do that too sometimes... today, in fact, I let a poster get to me and I became very angry. I just decided that it isn't worth it. I have my life to live and I simply don't want negativity (more than is already there) to enter in...<P>Just a thought... and continued good wishes as you rebuild your marriage... I can only imagine how hard it is for you.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

Dear new_beginning,<P>Thank you for popping over from GQ to check on us!<P>I know how fizzpop and the others feel about the site these days. You make a lot of sense when you say don't let it get to you. However, I have been one of the people who has been on this forum a while and I rarely post now because of the intruders.<P>We do have a lot to deal with. When an OC is involved it is much more complicated than a regular A. With an A, you can resolve it and pretty much put it to rest. With an OC, the issues go on and on every day of your life. <P>We are spending so much time and energy dealing with the OC issues in our lives that all we are looking for is a few minutes of peace, exchange of views, advice on special problems, and sometimes, just a shoulder to cry on. It is very difficult to bare your soul on this forum and then to be taunted and accused. That is not anyone's idea of a safe haven.<P>Happy_girl tried to set up an alternate e-mail site for us. A group of us registered with her and maybe it is not such a bad idea for us to use that site for awhile. I know we should ignore some of the posts, but it is really impossible to skip over them.<P>We have moderators now so maybe they will have some suggestion for how to handle this situation. I am also two seconds from not returning.<P>Again, thanks for your support, the folks from GQ have been absolutely wonderful throughout our crisis.<P>love,<BR>heavenly

Hi heavenly,<P>Thank you for your kind words...<P>...and oh yes, how well I understand that you all are dealing with a different type of affair/grieving process...<P>You write beautifully, by the way...<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

<B>Sheryl</B> is so right. I lost my cool on the other thread. I think ignoring this crap is best, I really do. I just have been lurking here since this forum started going under attack and I couldn't take it anymore.<P><B>New Begining</B> is not just one fine lady but very wise. <P>Hugs to all of you,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! With God on our side we can't lose! What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited May 01, 2001).]

heavenly,<BR>I see I'm not alone. Has is ever been this bad? We were told she dont give up easy but that was like 4 months ago. I will try a diffrent way of dealing with it if it still keeps getting to me I'll be on vac also. with love flowerseed

<B>heavenlybody26</B><P>Oh please don't go. I am sure the moderators will get this under control and have suggestions on what to do. I believe they will say to not respond to these people. If you give them no fuel there will be no fire.<P>Honestly I have been coming here for over two years and this site and the amazing people on it helped get me through it all. My husband and I are in recovery and doing great. So please stay and ignore these people who post. It really is the best way, although I blew it. (that's an embarrasment icon)<P><B>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{heavenlybody26}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}</B><P>Much love & prayers,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! With God on our side we can't lose! What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited May 01, 2001).]

Didnt mean to leave you other ladies out HI! and thanks so much for the support. It just is getting so old. Hey but were all fighters or we wouldnt be here right. with love flowerseed

Hi again,<P>Ah, <B>samantha</B>, you are so sweet!! Listen, I lost my cool with that guy over on our board, and said I was pissed at him, then went back and changed it to "very angry"... but the damage was done, I suppose. He knows I think he's an idiot and don't want him around.... see, that's bad... because he needs HELP.<P>This woman (or women, who knows how many there really are) need help too...<P>I know that life with an OC is worse than anyone can imagine unless having lived it -- I happen to know the *FEAR* of it was gawd-awful enough... I don't pretend to know the reality!<P>Women, and men, we ALL need to stand tall and not let people who are only here to hurt continue hurting us... <P>I wish you peace -- one and all!!<P>Mega-hugs to all of you fine people

Hey guys this is the way I see it,<BR>We are a family here, but sometimes we get unexpected visits from annoying Aunt Louise. We all have them in our real families. That Aunt who just doesn't shut the hell up, knows nothing about nothing but the trap keeps going. She is one judgemental woman too but you deal with her because you know eventually she will leave. She is not a member of your "real" family. She is not there with an open heart, a willing ear and all the support you would ever need. <BR>I know who my family is, I know when someone new wants to be a member of my family. I also know that my relationship with my Lord, my H and the OC is no one's business and any judgements regarding means nothing to me because I know that my struggles, my lessons and my faith are integral essential facets of these relationships.<P>Ladies you guys mean alot to me...the help I get from you is truly precious and NO ONE is taking that away from me. NO ONE is going to make me evaluate my decisions simply because they say they are all about the Lord. The Lord runs through every vein of my body and without Him I would not have gotten this far. So girls we all know who is here for true help, guidance, support, etc. Let the rest just crumble around us.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by new_beginning:<P>I know that life with an OC is worse than anyone can imagine unless having lived it -- I happen to know the *FEAR* of it was gawd-awful enough... I don't pretend to know the reality!<P> [/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Life with my OC has been nothing but pleasure. I treasure the time the Lord has given me with him. The hard part has been my W and myself, not the OC. I love him as if he were my own. My penny and a half worth...I don't have a full two cents yet! <P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

hi guys, my 2 cents are this. i know that we can ignore people who are here to be mean, etc. but i feel lately that this is a debate forum. i don't want to be part of a debate forum. i want to come here to share my pain, fears, triumphs, etc. i want to be able to help someone if only to say, i've been there, i feel your pain. but i don't even feel motivated to come here lately. and heaven knows i have needed to. but why come somewhere where it is in constant debate? i just remember the times when we all just kind of agreed to disagree and helped eachother regardless. no arguments, no debates. just i help you, you help someone else, someone helps me, etc. i miss that.<P>happy_girl<P>anyone who wants info on the egroup, happy_girl_az@yahoo.com

and to mycross, my questions to you are this. if you are such a woman of GOD, and are honestly a woman in this position, why on earth would you come here calling us hateful, judging us etc?????? why would you want to inflict on us more pain than we have already endured?? would JESUS do that? i don't think so. he would come here to comfort us, and offer his shoulder to lean on, to give up our troubles to him. he would weep with us, laugh with us. <B>he is the only one with a right to judge me.</B> <P>we are all in pain, and if you are in such pain too, what in you causes you to try to be mean to the rest of the world under the pretenses of the LORD??? my advice, look within before judging or calling us names.<P>happy_girl

Look I have said it before..I did not come here to start trouble..I have a big situation here I came for support...I am sorry I dont have the same views...and I find you view about OC too strong for me....I need to have a positive outlook not a negative to survive...I am alone in this on this forum...I will not post again....I am not an invader..ask your moderator...they should know I am honest and just happen to find you after looking on Google.com...I made a Big mistake...I will go away...I dont know where but I will go...

and by the way...I NEVER judged ANYONE....YOU JUDGED ME!!!...I said you had hateful feeling...and that was the truth...you called ME A LIAR...MY LIFE IS IN SHAMBLES AND BECAUSE I CHOSE TO SEE A BETTER SIDE I AM A LIAR...you are mean people...I hope your hate in people does not destoy what you have...because your hate has sent a person with alot of pain away...good bye...and May God bless You..because he has me...