I have had this problem since I had my children. I don't know how to be a mom and a wife together. I feel like I am either in "mommy" mode or "wife" mode. I have trouble knowing how to divide my attention between my three men. I need some suggestions or some reference material.

<small>[ August 16, 2003, 07:32 PM: Message edited by: vowes4real ]</small>

Can you be more specific about what you want to know? That question covers a LOT of ground. (Sex, domestic support, communication, child raising, etc.)

I agree with Dobie that it does cover a lot of ground, but I think it's sharing the joy and happiness of raising children with your husband AND doing lots of little things to show your love for your husband and make him feel special that he is THE man of your life even after the children were born. I'm learning about this myself, too. My H had an A with a co-worker shortly after I had our first baby. I was so caught up with trying to be a good mom I ended up neglecting my husband's needs. It really is a balancing act, but we spend as much time together with our baby and enjoy him together. Once the baby is in bed, it's OUR time and I make sure as many nights as possible that he is loved. Also during the day while at work (where he still works with the OW <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> ), I call him twice just to say hi, which I never did before. I also make small compliments to him whenever possible (but not overdoing it) and cook dinner almost every night (he loves cozy home environment and homemade meal is one of such elements). We directed 110% of our love and attention to each other before the baby came, and I believe that it's continuing with it whenever and however the way possible (i.e., meeting each other's EN's). JMHO

VowsforReal:

First thing to do: Pray and ask God for wisdom, and be in the Word. Without this, well, you will be like a blind man trying to figure things out on your own. The Word is truth and if you obey it, well.... you will be wise.

Second: Be involved in church and a woman's group. See if you can be mentored by another woman. This can be a tremendous help (if she is an older, godly mother/wife).

Third: Go to your Christian bookstore to the family section. Most stores have marriage and parenting sections. Some good authors who specialize in marriage and parenting are: James Dobson, Gary Smalley, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Ed Wheat, H. Norman Wright, Gary Chapman ("Love Languages"). Also perhaps check out the woman's section and authors like Nancy Leigh Moss, Emilie Barns, Stormie Omartian, Elisabeth Elliot, and others.

Off the top of my head, I cannot think of a book that is specifically how to be mom and wife, but I think you will find it addressed within various books.

Also, here are some good websites to check out. You can read articles, buy books, or listen to messages:

Focus on the Family (James Dobson): www.family.org and www.troubledwith.com

FamilyLifeToday (Dennis Rainey): www.familylife.com

Smalley Relationship Center (Gary Smalley):
www.smalley.gospelcom.net

Revive Our Hearts (Nancy Leigh DeMoss):
www.reviveourhearts.com

Hope that helps some!!