How do you rebuild trust in a marriage?

<small>[ August 18, 2003, 07:43 AM: Message edited by: CQuinn8 ]</small>

Being a "control freak" has nothing to do with you, and it's all about him. I suspect he has issues that have to be delt with. However he is the last one to find out he has problems. In my past situation, my "control freak" used to take the keys to the car whenever he went to drink with his buddies. When I finally contacted my family to take me out of the situation, he knew I was SERIOUS to get out of the relationship. I got a job, borrowed a car and did not reley on him for anything. He got the message loud and clear. Wanting to stay together, he reformed somewhat, but later improved his actions, as I lost some weight and gained my self esteem back. He is now afraid of my motivation as I went back to school and got my BA. My self motivation was the control he had over me. So here is a thank-you to H. As far as your H goes, make it clear that your marriage is not a dictatorship and if he wants that type of relationship, you will help him look for his "new wife."

CQuinn--Welcome to MB. Please read the following quote which is attached to one of our most treasured MB posters' signature (Starfish):

"*If you've come here for help, don't expect change. Expect to change.* This site will not fix your spouse. But it might fix you, and in a way that makes it hard for someone who loves you, to ignore they love you."

It is okay to vent here at MB, but your goal should be to learn the Marriage Builders concepts and learn how to use them to rebuild the love in your marriage. Please start reading the basic concepts by Harley so that you can understand the foundation of the responses you will receive here. You have posted in a forum that does not get much traffic, so I encourage you to repost your original message in the Emotional Needs forum after you have had the time to read about the concept of Emotional Needs within this web site.

Good luck to you!
Smile