Sil<P>My former name on this forum is "IN THE SOUTH".<P>I September of 1998, I accepted the Lord into my life. The first part of Oct/1998 I had to have my gallbladder remove. I waited for two days with pain. Finally went to hospital and had emergency surgery---I could have died from a burst gallbladder. Between 10/98 and 12/99, I grew in the spirit.<P>If I had not gone through that I would not have bounce back from the PA my H had.<P>SHORT STORY...... H works across US. When the cs papers were delivered by mail, I was off that day. Read them and then freaked out. Call H and his silent told me all. I a sence we were separated, he did not come home for 2wks after D day. Told me of one oc---that was the only one on the cs papers. Over the course of time, I ask God to get rid of the hurt and pain. Then I started reading the bible and everything that I could get my hands on to help me with this. I talked to my minister, thought that I was supposed to diviorce H. Learnt that this was a sin and it was a forgiveable sin. For months I worked like nothing was wrong and came home and close myself off from the world and our daughters (ages 13 & 16). I started walking and metating on god. Could not understand how H could say that he loved and still loves you, buy yet he had a PA for 2 1/2 years. I then asked God to help me to endure the situation, not take it away. It's okay to suffer and learn from your suffering.<BR>I learned to take control of my situation. I became in control. I decided to stay with my H. And I knew that my H had bonded with OC's and I would never stand between him and his children---ours or his and ow, that just me.<BR>But found out about 2nd oc in Aug of '00. It did not matter to me that it was one or two.<BR>This forum has help me, because I thought that I was the only one. I loved and still love my H, but I know that he is human and the flesh is weak.<BR>I told H that I could not tell him that things will be okay in 6 mths, 9mths, 1year. But I would try to be more understanding and he in turn had to win back my trust.<BR>We have grown stronger and H is talking more to me than at me. I can see in his eyes that he is sorry for what happen and the fact that since we have been married 5/84, together we had two abortions (I also had one at age 16) and because we felt that we could not afford more children. I still have things on my mind and the past court date, really made my emotions run. We are saving to purchase a house and I knew that things did not look good. But things worked out.<P>Daughters do not know, but we will probably tell them by the end of the year---see how things go with the vistation.<BR>H family knows, I asked them to not say anything around our girls, when we want them to know we will tell them. Only my SIL knows on my side of the family.<BR>The ow in our life is not angel, but I pray and hope that she does not turn into the devil since those babies are only 1 and 2.<P>Sorry so long, please read my post under my former name "IN THE SOUTH". I live in Sumter SC. God, good friends (2), a H that wants to work things out and this forum has help me put things together.<BR>G&P<P>
