I'm sorry I didn't tell everyone I was going out of town. I took my oldest son to King's Island in Ohio. I'm in TN so it was a good little road trip. Our church choir went to our sister church in Hamilton so we kind of made a weekend of it.<P>As far as the 'funds' goes, it touches me deeply. More so than most of you realize. I believe the Lord is in the process of bringing me full circle once again. 18 months ago my world was turned upside down. I was used to not relying on anyone for anything. My W and I have never fully recovered from her A 18 months ago, and this last one seems to have killed all trust I have. Not only for her but for alot of people.<P>floored: You asked something that I must respond to specifically.........."I read where your W said that she accepted Christ as her Savior..do you doubt that? I think that is great and would love for my W to come back to Him and repent for her actions. The only thing that would break my heart is if she is faking because she knows how dear your relationship is to Christ and is using this as a last resort to get you to stay."...........What is sad is that I have thought the very same thing. I don't know. When she is around me she sounds very genuine, but when she's not...Let's say from what I can tell she's the same person she has been.<P>I know everyone wants to help and I would help anyone here if it were in my means. Like Leelee said all of us helping each other would be peanuts. I'm just not sure I'm the right canidate. I will pray about it and I ask that you do the same.<P>God Bless.<P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

HEY PAUL,<BR>I have prayed on it and it is not your call if you are the right candidate...its our call and we have made it. Paul all you have to do is accept our sincere offer...please do.<P>Love and prayers,<BR>Leelee

Paul, I didn't post to the last thread on this... but I too would be willing and happy to contribute to this cause. It is a cause, because as you know it's a struggle. <P>Most of us on this forum are lucky enough to have our spouses out of the fog. If we can band together to yank yours out of the fog, we would feel priviledged and honored.<P>Please allow us to help.<P><P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Paul,<P>If you do decide to change your mind, I'll coordinate things with Steve (hmmm, I smell a 50/50 matching funds proposal brewing... ).<P>If...<P>God bless! Sorry to dump the pressure on you---it wasn't my intent. I was just being <I>overprotective</I>.

Paul...<BR>...my brother in Christ...<P>Seeing Tash's dad is OK (there is nothing inappropriate about that - visiting the sick... is a work of mercy)... but do it <B>without</B> Tash!<P>Taking her with you...<BR>...isn't helping either. <P>You know...<BR>...from all your time here... at MB...<BR>...there is no chance at reconciliation... without leaving Tash...<BR>...and this can only be <B>your</B> decision....<BR>...not Amanda's!<P>With a loving message to you... <P>Jim/NSR

Jim: I must admit when I first read your reply here it got me kind of angry. I looked at it and said 'what is he talking about?' , 'how did he know this and that?'...so I went and read the other forum post...<P>I'm afraid you've been misinformed. I went to see a friend at the hospital. Someone I've known all my life. 'Tash' was out of town. She did not even know I went til she got back late last night. It somewhat bothers me that you guys are starting to let Amanda manipulate you as she has me over the years. I thought people here would see through that. <P>I do see signs of change, but I also see great flashbacks and actions of old. Don't be fooled to easily. She can change at the drop of a hat. That's been part of the problem, she is kind and loving to me, and the very same night she would go and see OM. It's why it's so hard to trust her, I can't tell lies from truth anymore.<P>Thanks for the prayers<P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.<p>[This message has been edited by Paul Moyers (edited May 08, 2001).]

Paul,<P>I would <B>very much</B> suggest you keep on top of Amanda's postings...<P>My ex and I both posted here, and although I tried to stay away from his, unless he asked me to look, it seemed protective to keep on top of what he was writing/telling people. My ex's MO was to come on, drop some bombshell about me (like how I bounced a check), and leave. He felt that since I'd been on long before him, everyone would "believe me" before they'd "believe him". The truth, of course, was somewhere in the middle, as it always is. <P>Jim actually wrote something similiar to my ex because of something I'd written... and he was right on with what he said... you know Jim, he always deals from a place of compassion. <P>So, I guess my rambling is to ask you to remember that when both of you post here there will be times when little *truths* will come out from the biased perspective of the other spouse...<P>That's all...

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> I do see signs of change, but I also see great flashbacks and actions of old. Don't be fooled to easily. She can change at the drop of a hat. That's been part of the problem, she is kind and loving to me, and the very same night she would go and see OM. It's why it's so hard to trust her, I can't tell lies from truth anymore.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>That's one reason I think it'll be necessary (mandatory) for the two of you to do counseling together, using either a Harley or Harley-trained counselor. There are clearly a number of issues that need to be addressed. Amanda is talking a good game over there as a repentant cheater---but I have yet to see her put together a plan in place that would rebuild your trust. And until she's got that written in stone, and she's doing a consistant job of executing it---I'd probably stay on the fence too (but without dating).<P>Counseling, counseling...<P>

NB, K: Point taken.

Paul,<P>You don't know me, and please forgive the intrusion...I'm usually on GQ and only came here recently because of the problems that were here, but I read this thread and "no go" and I just wanted to pass along something that a good friend told me a while ago...<P>It is a blessing to be a Giver. We all know that.<P>But there are times when it is a blessing to be a Receiver. If one is not a gracious Receiver, no one can experience the blessing of being a Giver...<P>All the best to you.<BR>--HBC