I only have a minute to type, but we just got a call from C&Y services. Ow left oc alone in the house Friday night while she went to pick up her boyfriend. Oc got out and was found wandering the streets alone. C&Y have given ow's mother temporary custody pending a hearing. This changes everything for us, but I don't have specifics yet.<P>I can't hardly believe that ow was so stupid! We are in the middle of a custody case, for heaven's sake.<P>Prayers for us with this latest change would be appreciated. <P>Gotta go and leave the phone lines clear.<BR>-cd

Very interesting cd. My prayers are with you. Thank God the child was OK!<BR>

Oh my GOSH, CD!! It's hard to believe XOW would be that stupid!! May only good come of it... <P>I am reminded of a friend whose H had a terrible time dealing with his Xwife over visitation of their only child (from his first marriage, not an OC). Fastforward 3 years and the mother lost custody over abuse/neglect. My friend is doing a great job raising the girl, who is off unnecessary meds and on the honor roll at school for the first time EVER... and the mother has completely lost contact of her own accord. Rumor has it the mom is working as an "exotic dancer"?<P>ANYWAY, my point is, since you have been able to open your heart to this child, I hope you and your H are able to be in her life and be great influences!<P>PRAYERS to you, your family and OC today!

Dear K,<BR>The oc being ok was our primary concern. When I reread my post, I realized that i didn't sound that way. Naturally, we made sure right away that she is doing ok, or as well as she can be given the circumstances.<P>I don't have any idea a tthis point what will happen because of this. We have a lot of work, praying, and thinking to do.<BR>cd

Geeez thank God nothing happened to her! Things like that piss me off...take care of your kid. Sorry...you and yours will be in my prayers.

Cd, does that mean more chance for you to have full custody? Are you o.k with that possibility?Do you want that? I am glad child is fine, prayers to you.

CD,<P>My prayers and thoughts are with you and yours. Thank goodness the OC wasn't physically harmed in any way. <P>If you get a chance, please email me. I know you've got a lot going on, so write when you get some available time. My email is couple_of_reasons@yahoo.com. Please post and let me know you sent an email just to ensure it is from you.<P>Love and care,<BR>CoR

Quick update:<P>We *could* file an emergency custody order to obtain custody of oc, but it would cost $1000 up front, which we do not have. So, we are going to probably have to wait until the C&Y dependancy hearing. Because we have not had contact with oc for over a year, the C&Y is going to recommend that oc stay with ow's mother for the time being, but this will definitely help us in the end any way you look at it. If it comes down to a choice between h and ow's mother as custodian, the laws favor my h by a long shot.<P>I definitely would be ok with us getting full custody, but i have to admit it's all going so fast now that I am scared to death about keeping up with all the changes.<P>I think that this must have all been part of God's plan somehow. I don't know what all He has in mind for us, but it sure is getting interesting.<BR>-cd

Dear CoR,<BR>Just sent you a quick email. Let me know if it made its way to you. <BR>-cd

Geez, what was she thinking???? She left her child alone in the house! Oh my goodness! How old is oc again? <P>What kind of person is ow's mother? <P>Prayers are with you,<P>bw

CD,<P>Got it and sent one back to you. There's NO hurry. The stability for this child is much more important. <P>Take good care. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. <P>Love,<BR>CoR

bw and CD, this OC is 4yo now, is that right?? CD's XOW seems stereotype for (forgive me)white trash--low income, undereducated, no class, no morals--am I close CD?<P>You're right, stability is so important for kids, and long-term stability too. You can handle this CD!!<p>[This message has been edited by Jenny (edited May 07, 2001).]

Dear Jenny,<BR>You are so on target with the description of ow you should win a prize!<P>OC will be four next month actually, but I guess I have been thinking of her as a four-year-old. I hadn't realized that I had been saying she is four when she is not quite there yet. I have been referring to our 3 year old boy as a four year old, especially when I am buying age-appropriate toys, because he is much bigger and stronger than a 3 year old should be, and he is almost 4 too (2 days older than oc). Officially, though, until oc birthday on June 14 she is still 3. They left a 3-year-old child alone at night. Do you believe it?<BR>-cd

Yes I can believe it.<P>Today at the office a patient came in who lives across the street from ow. He and his wife commented on how she has another C to leave at home while she puts on her black mini skirt and starts bar hoping again to pounce on another poor soul.<P>Also said looked as though my H gave her two additions!(one the add on rooms for her and her H...the other the baby).<P>Oh God I didn't realize how many people knew!<P>Good luck on custody cd.<P>Love,<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

CD,<P>I am so sorry that I just got to reading this right now! I got involved with Regretfully Your's post, and posting back to her H, that I almost made the kids late for school. Then, I had my WIC appointment for Abbi, and just got back from that.<P>I am so happy that the child is ok. I will pray that the Lord continues to show His hand in your situation!!<P>Love,<P>Tigger

I'm glad the little girl is OK.<BR>Sometimes I am floored by the stupidity that people show.<BR>I hope this helps you and H in custody.<BR>jtigger

This is an interesting turn of events. It alarms me how these women can be so cavalier about the welfare of their child. I could almost see it if the woman was very young (teen) and not possessing the necessary skills to care for a child, but to put aside a child for a guy is so needy and pathetic, it makes me sick. What if there were a fire?<P>Sometimes I wonder why the focus isn't on the mother and whether or not she is capable and responsible enough to retain custody...the courts are as irresponsible as some of these inept women. So tragic and sad for the child.<P>Catnip =^^=<P>PS Why would it cost a grand to sue for emergency custody? I would think that the court would look at the situation as to what is best for child and proceed accordingly and not try to nip you for more cash that is so hard to come by...the court's priorities are certainly skewed as well. <P>

CD,<BR>My gosh, I could not believe when I read your post...WHAT A TOTAL LOSER...LEAVING A SMALL CHILD ALONE...FOR A MAN!!!...Oh yea what am I thinking she has no scrupples to begin with. Well I hope you and your H move fast.. I dont think it is neccessary to have the lawyer do this...you can file your self...then write a letter to the judge fed ex it..so you know he gets it right away...set up court supervised visits immediatly with OC so "relationship" is established..this gives you leverage..this need to be done ASAP...parents always get priority over grandparents...BUT you need to establish "relationship"..fast....I called a couple of family members who are family lawyers...(uncle and 2 sil)You H's paternity has already been established...and HE GET PRCEDENCE over grandparents..but because of the lack of contact he needs to start the visits and they will eventually have custody(they should)...none of my famliy members practice in your state..they are in mine...but I called my aunt in MS she said the same thing..so it seems to be how courts view things...do most of the leg work and get the lawyer involved only if needed...it is your H's constitutional right to parent...and if wants that right...it is his...they would have to prove him unfit (like the crazy B*&%*) he has been finacally supportive of the child...which means THEY CANNOT SEVER HIS PARENTIAL RIGHTS...so get in there while the fire is hot...Stupid woman leaving a baby home alone...she should hog tied and slapped ( OK I am not only angry...BUT I am PMS TOO) good luck...you know I am not a lawyer...But I trust my uncle and Aunt and my SIL is a very close friend...they all said the same thing..Good luck...