Hi, once again, I need some advice from this forum but this time it is an entirely different situation. Here's the deal: Yesterday, my cousin (male) came over to my mom's house and told me that he made a big mistake; he has a girl pregnant with twins. He said he had just told his wife about it earlier that morning because he felt that she needed to know. He's known for about 2 months. He said, she didn't say anything, she just started crying and then drove to one of her friend's house. But here's the tricky part, the OW is also married. My cousin says that he is SURE that she is pregnant by him (because she told him she wasn't sleeping with her husband). My family thinks that he just really wants to believe that because he LOVES kids and even though his wife has 3,he's always wanted children of his own. His Wife had her tubes tied after she had a miscarriage by my cousin. He didn't want her to, but she really does not want anymore children and was not happy about being pregnant again even though my cousin was ecstatic. Well, I told him about this site but he is very computer illiterate and will not take the time to try to visit this site, even though he listened to the things I told him about this site and he asked ME for advise. I told him that since I know he would not agree to NO CONTACT with the OC's, that he should agree to see them with his wife present and ONLY when she's present and let her handle all the arrangements of seeing the kids and stuff. He said NO WAY. That would be giving her TOO MUCH control, and he's not really sure that he want's to stop seeing the OW anyway. I didn't know what to tell him about that because I can't recall seeing a situation like that here. What do you suggest? He's not going to just leave his wife though, I know that, if they divorce, it will be because SHE wants to. What can I tell him/them to make it better? Thanks in advance.

Hmmmmm. Tough call. If 'cuz' is adamant about not allowing his wife to act as the third party go-between and if he doesn't think he wants to sever all ties with OW, then there isn't much anyone can do except perhaps his wife... if she is up for an aggressive Plan A.<P>Catnip =^^=

Maybe you can direct the wife here..at least then she will know she is not alone.<P>Love<BR>bw

It's kind of awkward talking to her. I don't think is really a computer person either. She has not really been close to the family since one of her best friends and neighbors told my mother that she was cheating on my cousin. Of course, my mother informed my cousin and he confronted her. She denied it of course and he chose to believe her. The rest of the family was (and still is) kind of skeptical. Why would her best friend make something like that up right? Also, my aunt (cousin's mother) and also my mother are not ready to just accept that the twins are my cousin's and they want him to ask for a paternity test when they are born. I told him not to be so quck to just accept that they are his and to PLEASE not sign a birth certificate until he is absolutely sure because the child supoort for ONE oc is unbelievable...imagine twins! He says he knows that. he also says that he does not want to BE with OW as in make her a girlfriend, or even marry her if his wife bails, but he doesn't dislike her and doesn't think he should leave her "high and dry", especially if they're his kids. I suspect that he really wants to work on things with his wife, but I don't think that he will beg her if she chooses to leave. He wants to fix it before she makes up her mind that she wants to leave, and if that's what he wants, then I want to help.