When I chose to forgive my husband six months ago, after finding out about OW and OC, I told him that the only way I could take him back was if there was no contact with OW and OC at all. Yesterday he receive his celluar phone bill, sure enough her home number and cellular appear in his phone bill, but wait it gets better, he's even calling her from our home phone, he's so stupid didn't thought that our new phone stores in the memory of all the phone numbers that are being dial through out the day. He called her 4 times from our home phone at her cellular dialing *67, so our number is not shown. I am so devastated by this, all this time I thought there was no contact. More betrayal, this is the last thing he does to me. I am still recovering from my miscarriage almost two weeks ago, and know finding about this. I am so depress, I can't take it anymore. I have not stop crying since yesterday, couldn't sleep at all last night. Sometimes I just wish I could be dead so this pain that I am feeling could end.<p>[This message has been edited by mina29 (edited May 10, 2001).]

I cannot imagine the amount of pain you are in. I can relate to the ongoing pain of no honesty & finding out again & again you have no "joint agreement" on contact with OW. I have experienced that. But on top of a miscarriage.... I cannot comprehend the pain. <P>You may not be able at this point to do too much in the way of MB principles. But I think Plan B is in order. Ask him to leave. Take care of you. You cannot allow him (or anyone) to hurt you like this. Carolyn

Dear Mina,<P>Having been through multiple miscarriages myself, I know how you feel at this time. Your body and your emotions have taken a real beating and you are in a very sensitive state.<P>I think you should share your feelings with your H. But understand that, when an OC is involved, even though your H may have tried to break all contact immediately, there may be reasons why this was not possible. <P>I agree with you that it was unfair of him not to explain his reasons for being in touch and to seek your consent. But, because of your depression, your H may have mistakenly been trying to protect you.<P>You won't know until you ask him. If you feel your marriage is worth saving then open up to him and explain what you are feeling. Try to talk to him without anger and bitterness. Just hear his words as if they are being spoken by a friend. And then let your heart decide what you should do.<P>Your H should understand that it will be impossible for you to heal unless from now on you make joint decisions and you both either keep the agreements that you make, or seek the agreement of the other to change them.<P>Please don't make any quick decisions right now that you may regret in the future. You have children to consider and your emotions are still very raw right now. Take care of you. Let your emotions calm down so that you can see clearly.<P>I am sending prayers for you to help you recover from the loss of your child and to give you the courage to see clearly the road that God has in store for you.<P>love,<BR>heavenly

Im so sorry for your pain. After deciding to forgive H,he betrays you again !! I agree that you should ask him to leave...you are not a door mat. You have feelings and expectations!! Man all I can say is H really blew it. But DO NOT DO OR SAY ANYTHING OUT OF ANGER. Its thoses actions and words we always regret. So step back and do what is right for YOU.Yes your marriage should be impotant, but it takes 2 to make a marriage a succes. God be with you to help ease your pain. Take care of yourself!!!

[QUOTE]Original[Bly posted by mina29:<BR>]I don't know what to say to you at this point, except that my prayers are with you.

Mina,<P>I think you should talk to your H. Have you read up on Harley's Plan A and Plan B? It is very good. Hope it will help you. Just wanted to send my prayers and support your way. Let us know what he says.<P>Love<P>bw

{{{mina}}}<P>I am so sorry to hear of your pain.<P>How are you doing today?<P>Hang in there. It will get better.<P>All the best.<BR>--HBC

Dear Mina,<BR>Please listen to Heavenly if you could. H's do the wrong thing in trying to protect us, a lot of times.<P>I found out of contact and told H no more or we are done, but I said it months ago and he lied.<P>He was seeing if pregnancy was going ok and trying not to upset her until baby came.<P>He realizes his mistake now.<P>He would not be home w/you if he didn't really want to be.<P>I will pray for you. I hope things are better today.<BR>Love,<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....