To Blue, LSB, and others who have posted regarding the race of their OW:<P>My situation is a little different then most of you. My dad was married at the time him and my mom had me. He divorced her when I was 12. But I was the OC many of you have referred to. I sympathize with all of your situations as and I am deeply sadenned by the pain experienced. However I beg you all not to bring nationality or race into this mix. I think their are so many valid and more important issues to discuss. Please lets focus on something other than bigotry. Please.<P>Peace and Love

THis has nothing to do with race. MyH is from the same culture as the ow .My children are all half of his culture.This is about the way other cultures handle situations, not bigotry. I am the last to be predjudice . I am just tired of her ethnocentric ,spoiled attitude. And I am tired of being her only means of support here.

mmlilgirl:<P>Let's not get all "politically correct" here. There is no "bigotry" here and no need to get hypersensitive and silly about descriptions or stories. If race or culture is mentioned in relation to anyone's situation, it is simply to explain where soemone is coming from or why someones' spouse or OW is the way they are. Cultures are different and sometimes when someone is married to someone from a different culture, the entire scenario is different because core beliefs and customs collide.<P>I've been here 2.5 years and have never even seen any racial slurs or bigotry. We all have much biger fish to fry and we all look at the big picture and are focused on one thing...how to save our marriages and get through the pain. <P>In the future, when someone mentions someone's race or culture, see it from the standpoint of someone trying to explain a difference so we all understand what the poster is trying to convey. For example, Iraqi men are customarily extremely dominant and require their wives to where veils and treat them like chattle and infidelity in their culture (for the men) is OK. But if their wives are unfaithful, they become pariahs and are shunned by the community...or worse, killed. <P>So let's not get excited here and chastise someone for their way of explaining how it is in their life in relation to their spouse, whether he be purple, green or plaid and from Jupiter or Mercury, n'est pas?<P>Catnip =^^=

In total aggreance with Catnip..always the wise one. <P>My H's mother lives in Mexico. And he does still have some of the old-fashioned ways in him. Tells a little about where he and we are coming from. Culture is nothing to be ashamed of, but embraced.

Hey guys,<P> My best friend is married to a Korean woman. I love her, she is a wonderful woman. But the culture she was raised in is so totally different, in every way!!<BR> We spend hours comparing and contrasting our different cultures!! The opportunities for misunderstanding are many, but the similarities are even more impresive!!<P> We all know cultures differ, stating this fact is not offensive, is it?? ( I'm an Ulster mick, and proud of it!!)<P> God bless you all, <P>------------------<BR>Gregg

Yes, culture is very important in this discussion as different cultures do affect how the people involved make decisions. But I didn't see anything about culture in the original posts regarding foreign OW. What offended me was the discussion solely of race, deportation, etc. <BR>I am sensitive to this subject because my father and his wife were caucasion & my mother was hispanic. I remember when I was little hearing my father's wife make comments about my mother. It hurt and made me sad. That is why the subject is sensitive to me.<BR>

Hey Cat,<P> Whoa, whoa, where'd I put my dictionary?!! You say "race" to me, an I think " NASCAR"!!<P> ( Are you an English major?)<P> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR>Gregg

Hey mmlilgirl,<P> I don't mean to make light. I think your dads' wifes' comments are more a testimony to cruelty than to bigotry. She knew what would hurt the most. Things like this shouldn't happen to kids. ( By the way, my godparents are Joe and Albina Garcia, ,Joe is my dads' best friend! Can you imagine an Irish Mick in a Chicano neighborhood??)<P><BR> God bless you, <P>------------------<BR>Gregg

Gregg:<P>When I think of 'race' I think of the Rat Race...zoom, zoom, zoom.<P>mmlilgirl, Gregg hit the nail right on the head when he said that person was cruel, not necessarily a bigot.<P>Sometimes, mmiligirl, we just have to "get over it" and get onto something with some substance.<P>Don't trouble yourself with the little stuff...it just ain't worth your time or grey matter.<P>So, what's your story regarding your issues with OW and OC?<P>Catnip =^^=

I think mmlilgirl sounds suspiciously like a person who had been previously posting here and stirring up trouble. Granted, her posts today have been mild, but this 'bigotry' issue was one brought up by the recently departed interlopers.<P>sb