I just can not stop thinking about it, I get mad if h won't tell me anything and when he does I obsess about it! I made him drive through her work the other day but she wasn't there, I just want her to see us together because I swear she lives in some kind of fantasy world where I do not exist! Anybody else feel this way?

I did and in some aspects still do. I have never seen ow...not even in pics. That drives me absolutely nuts. I asked on here about the pics they do when they do the dna test and was told we could probably get them. I told H and his response was "so....you want me to get this stuff so you can see what she looks like..." he acted as if I was nuts. I said yes and as I suspected the next thing out of his mouth was completely off the subject. So my obsession is not important to hum.<P>All the other stuff...I do not know much...I have kinda gotten past. My H seems to have this amnesia about the A. He is one of those who can remember the Oscar Myers theme song but not whether or not he mer ow's family...which I found out later he did. But I was very obsessive. Asked about everything and got so angry when H wouldnt tell me, acted as if he didnt remember or lied to me. I would get so angry. Then if he had no answer I would make up one of my own and I am sure my answer was worse than the truth. <P>It has been 2 yrs since 1st d-day and 1 since 2nd. I dont frett about it so much anymore. Not about the details and lately not even about the A. I know it's redundant, but time will help.<P>Love and Prayers<P>bw

I try to just forget about OW. Giving her too much space in my head just gives her more control, and at this point she has stolen enough from me and my family. I will NOT give her any of my brain space, if at all possible.<P>I hope you can gain peace of mind in this area. When she crosses your mind, just try to displace those thoughts with something else. Eventually she will not even be a thought. <P>Take care... Carolyn

fizzpop,<BR>ditto the others. <P>But here's another thing that helps me even still today. Someone introduced me to the concept that you get more of what you put you attention on: ie the more you dwell on XOW, the more you "get" of her. Whenever I think of stirring something up, I remember I don't want more of her in my life!!! I want more laughter, more happiness, and I try to "get" more of those!<P>It's important to spend time on investigating your relationship, what made things rough and how to make it better for the future, but I can imagine your H is reluctant to feed your fire.