Well, to start things off, last week we recieved a copy of a letter from our attorney to another one saying that our OW had spoken with him in Oct. They "forgot" until she called for a consultation last week. Apparently it is a conflict of interest because our lawyer dropped us yesterday. Well, from what they told my H, she went "crying" to the other attorney and "poured her heart out" (I didn't know she had one). They said something about Single parent adoption???? I guess she is trying to get H to sign over rights because she's scared we will get custody. Anyways, we went and spoke with another attorney today . I really liked her. She actually asked us questions about the situation and listened. I told her all about OW stalking me in the past and all the things we have heard about her recently. She said we have a really good chance of winning but that it will be really expensive. UGH! H lied to her though when she asked how long his "relationship" with OW was. He said "we didn't have a relationship. Just sex 1 time." I told him later. Don't lie to your attorney. If you need me to not be there so you can tell her the truth than I'll not go. He has admitted 2 times and I know there where alot more. It was going on for almost 1 & 1/2 years. I'm not a complete idiot. So, maybe things will work out ffor the best. OH YEAH! I almost forgot. We are moving into our new apartment June 1. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Jessry,<P>are congradulations in order? It sounds promising. How can you get your H to understand the importance of honesty? Would reading something help? Maybe he doesn't want himself to look any worse than it already is, but you obviously know honesty is more important at this point--the damage has been done. Have you been following CD's story? It sounds like your XOW is a fruit-loop too. I hope that you too can be a light of hope in the OC's life, as many of these XOWomen are not stable parents. But you know for you and H to be the stable alternative, you have to keep working at your relationship, and it sounds like you're trying! <P>Just want to offer my support and best wishes,<BR>J (in recovery 2 and half years--YEA!)<BR>PS Congradulations about your apartment! <p>[This message has been edited by Jenny (edited May 17, 2001).]

Jessry,<BR>PLEASE proceed very cautiously if ow is trying to get your h to sign off his rights. Our ow tried to pull a scam regarding the single parent adoption laws here too. Turns out that although a single person can indeed adopt a child, a single mother CANNOT sign away rights to collect child support under ANY circumstances (unless she is married and step-father wants to adopt). The reason is that the laws state that child support belongs to the child, not the mother, thus the mother cannot legally give away the child's right to collect that support. On the other hand, a father can sign off his rights, but GUESS WHAT? He would STILL be responsible for child support! It's ridiculous, but that is the way it is, at least here in PA.<P>If I were you, I would ask your lawyer for some of his retainer fee back. I don't know how that works, but since it was his error, I think you should be reimbursed at least partially since you have to go through the effort of starting over with somebody else.<P>But DO NOT allow your h to sign off rights until a lawyer explains your state laws regarding support to you!<BR>with love and best wishes,<BR>cd

CD,<BR> Our old lawyer gave us $880 back from our retainer. I'm just mad that we had to pay another consult fee to the new one. Thanks for the advice on the adoption thing. We are going to wait and see what she is trying to pull. My MIL is actually on our side now. It's about time. She called OW a stupid b****. HAHA

Hi Jessry,<P>Congratulations on your getting your own apartment!<BR>I remember how excited I was when I moved out on my<BR>own-very liberating!<P>Sorry to hear about the problems with your lawyer.<BR>That is really the pits. Good luck with all you are<BR>doing. You have a baby too, right? HOw is the little<BR>guy? Take care, fluke

Dear Jessry,<P>Wonderful news all the way around... MIL is coming around - new apartment on June 1st - OW is on the run ... life is sweet!<P>CD is absolutely right - your H cannot sign away the responsibility for CS -- so approach with caution and listen carefully to your lawyer's advice. <P>Glad you found someone that you click with -- that is so important in matters like these.<P>Good luck. We're with you all the way!<BR>love,<BR>heavenly

Well, it's a no-go on the apartment. With the lawyer fees and not knowing how much cs is going to be, we decided to wait and make sure that we could afford it. We just stay gone from here more often now.

Jessry,<BR>Oh Jess I'm so sorry I know how bad you wanted this. Hang in there its got to get better. with love flowerseed