I'm new to this, so please bear with me. I'm in Texas and thank God soon to be moving to an area which will be I believe over 6 hours of driving away from OW. Sorry My heart really bleeds for that, especially since OW doesn't have a vehicle and has to borrow mom's for groceries, and I believe work. Unfortunately, I believe that might change. It's been about three months since my husband told me. Three months since the OC was born on my B-day. My husband didn't want to tell me when I was pregnant (boy born about 6 mo ago) because he though I wouldn't take care of myself. He was right. I hardly ate or slept for the first couple of months. I isolated myself in my home for atleast 2 weeks. It was miserable. <P>AFter 2 weeks, I decided to meet with OW. I called her up. She called my husband to see if I still wanted to meet with her. STupid woman. When he told me about OW and OC, I agreed with him about taking responsibility for the little girl. I did tell him that I didn't think I could tolerate him going to visit over there. He came up with the compromise of bringing her to our home. That was fine. He told other woman about picking baby up, and she agreed. The night I called her to meet with her, he was going to pick up the little one. He called and she told him NO. As much as it pained me to say this, I told my husband that he should go over there and find out what was going on. He went and was gone less that 40 minutes. <P>the next day, I met with the other woman. She over-embellished,lied and was a b****. She told me he said he didn't love me and didn't know why he had married me. (That's the nice version). She also told me that they hadn't had sex just2 times. It had been three times. She said that my husband had told her everything we talked about. And that he would talk to her about everything. <BR>I didn't let her see my devestation. But I left there feeling miserable. I called my husband at work and sort of confronted him. She left there and went straight to his work to apoligize to him for breaking up his marriage. UGHHH!!!!!<P>We had a long heart to heart after he came back from work. He came clean with everything and why things had happened and gave me any detail I asked for. She knew what we had spoken about because the night before she insisted that he tell her what he had told me so that she could keep his story. YEah right. He realized how badly he had been manipulated by this woman. He didn't even talk to her or know her until after he found out she was pregnant. Then he did it to try to convince her to abort and to keep her from being a witch to me while I was pregnant (especially since I didn't know). She knew she got pregnant the 1st time but didn't tell him until afterward. <P>He hasn't seen her or the baby since then, except when she went to his work with her other child (also from a previuos adulterous affair)and tried to get him to see them as. He ignored them and did his job. She has since been back to that work place when he is not there to flaunt his child and play the guess whose baby this is with that staff. We/he is waiting for the courts to set a date for cs. This really frightens me because I'm concerned about how much $ she'll get. They also told him that they don't have to go to court if both parties meet at the Attorney General's office and come to an agreement. He doesn't think she'll show if he asks her. I'm not sure if I should insist that he speak with her. As it is I live with the fear of what will she do next. <P>SORRY i've been soooo long winded<P><BR>[This message has been edited by IVC (edited May 19, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by IVC (edited May 22, 2001).]

IVC:<P>Thanks for sharing your story with us. You have been through a very difficult time but you have come to the right place. Everyone here knows exactly how you are feeling and understand the pain you are in and the stages you are about to go through.<P>We are all here for you and can help you get through some of these stages. One thing you must do is read everything you can get your hands on from Steve Harley on this site and in his books. Study the Principles and Rules of Protection and Honesty and the others as well as Plan A and Plan B to gain a better understanding.<P>These principles and posting on this forum will give you a lot of insight and the members her have some outstanding advice.<P>I am so sorry you have to be here but so glad you found us.<P>Catnip =^^=

Hey IVC,<P> Glad to meet you, sorry it has to be here.<P><BR> I have been knocked around a bit in my life, won't bore you with the details. If I summed up every heart breaking, devastating, totally overwhelming thing that ever happened to me in my life, it would be a walk in the park compared to the night my wife told me she was pregnant with another mans' child. There aren't words to explain how it feels.<P> I won't say I know how you feel, because I don't. But I know how I felt.<BR> See your doctor, get medication if you need it, it will help.<BR> Get counseling, someone to talk to.<BR> Post here often, unload here and not on your husband. That's what this place is for.<BR> I know you can't see it now, but it will get better.<P> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR>Gregg

welcome IVC, sorry you have to be here, but i am glad you found this place. when you get to san antonio, please let me know how it is there. i have always wanted to move to some little town outside of san antonio. we are going to be moving after i finish school. i don't want to be near OW/OC either. too painful, would hate to run into her at the store or something.<P>i can't imagine how painful this must be when you just had a baby. i know there are others here who have been in that situation. you have my prayers, that the cs hearing will go well, and that you will be far away from OW soon. also that your marriage can get thru this, and that you can be strong.<P>happy_girl <P>

Dear IVC,<P>I want to let you know that it does get better.<BR>You are still so new to finding out and it seems<BR>you are doing the best you can under the circumstances.<P>I found out when my youngest was 7 wks old, it is<BR>never a good time to find out such horrible news but<BR>having a newborn makes you so emotional anyway.<BR>It has almost been a year now and because my H is<BR>so dedicated to us, life has become sweet again.<BR>That's not to say it isnt bitter at times but it<BR>is something we have to deal with. I am realizing that<BR>it is up to me to make the best of it. <BR>The first few months are very difficult but you'll<BR>get through it with the help of your H.<BR>Take good care of yourself and the baby. Post often<BR>as you need to, we are all here for one another.<BR>Love, fluke

Dear IVC<P>Like "FLUKE" said, it does get better. Please remember to take control of your situation. Don't let other woman control things. <P>I have never met my OW, but I have met one of my OC's. But I sometime wonder what I would say to her, maybe not much. <P>Take care of yourself and know that you can come her for someone to listen to you, give advice, and just be there for you, because most of us have been through it or is going through it.<P>When this happen to me, I thought I was the only one , but as hurt as it may sound, it was good to know that someone else also feels your pain.<P>G&P (formerly "IN THE SOUTH")

Hi IVC,<P>Sorry about what you are going through. We Have a few things in common. I too was PG when OW got PG, and My H was only w/ her about 3 times (in a three week period). He was also afraid, because I dont eat when I am too stressed, and I am not a big person. The only saving grace is that I did have a healthy baby. We have more in common, but I get too nervous to post to much personnal info on the net...when you have time e-mail me @ MiaBryan@hotmail.com. And do your self a favor dont see or speak to OW again. She is not a very nice person. And remember that you are postpartum right now, and from what I gathered this was your first baby? Well the adjustment to new parenthood is also very hard (and then this). Hang in there. Also it sounds to me as if OW was not really sure the baby was your H's. 1) cuz of the way she looked that day...2) her delaying the testing (my OW did the same) 3) her calling YOU to open the letter (gloating, after she opened hers)..etc... it is unfortuante that it was H's...But e-mail me...I want to touch on a couple of other issues that we have in common...<BR>Take Care,MC

hey IVC, did you send me an email regarding the photowebsite? if so, let me know, i don't send the address out unless i see an email here confirming who sent me the email. silly, i know, but i am protective!<P>happy_girl

Dear IVC,<P>Welcome to the MB forum. You have already received some excellent advice from many of the regulars here. We have all be in your shoes and some of our marriages are in recovery. Since this is all new for you, I hope that will give you some hope that you and your H can work this through with a lot of love and a lot of faith.<P>The OW should not be going to your H's offce and annoying him and his colleagues there. You should see your lawyer about getting a restraining order if she continues that kind of behaviour. <P>You will have many ups and downs in this situation. Try your best to take out your anger and anxiety here with people who understand. That will allow you to work with your husband to positively rebuild your marriage.<P>My prayers are with you,<BR>love,<BR>heavenly

Dear IVC,<BR>I am sorry for your circumstances. You have found the right place to come to when you need advice. Everyone here is like family. We have created a bond and always help one another.<BR>Love,<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Dear IVC,<P>As others have said, glad to meet you, sorry it had to be here. Honestly though, it does get better and marriages can be rebuilt if both parties are willing.<P>You have been offered some very good advice here. I would add that if you have a religious faith of *any* sort that you really lean on that now.<P>Hope you post often and get some of your stress and anger out here on this board instead of overloading your marriage with it.<P>Mrs. Job