The papers were signed Friday, the court date is Thurday, this weekend. I'm looking forward to it being over. Not the marriage per say. But all the heartache. I must admit while I am the one who filed for the Divorce, it still saddens me deeply. This is the person that I have loved and cheriched for the last 9 years. Things will be different. I dread tomorrow, for it is one day closer to Thursday. I dread Thursday because it will be the last day of "this" life. How can I not be sad? <P>I will survive.

Sorry to hear the news, Paul.<P>Amanda has dropped off the site (I think...). Is she still trying to recover the marriage, or was it a phase?<P>God bless you. I'll pray for the restoration of your spirit, and for the safety and well-being of your family.

PaulMoyers,<P>So sorry that you have to go through this. I am sure it is very painful. Are you and W still going to work on things? We haven't seen much of you since you last posted here. Are you open to remarriage if your W changed, etc?<P>I am behind you either way. One person can only take things for so long. You gave it more than most would have, and you did it in a loving way. You tried to save your marriage. I think it is up to your W, to win you back, if that is possible.<P>My prayers for you.<P>You will survive. You have great faith in God, and I know you know he is here with you. Like in Footsteps, he is carrying you right now.<P>happy_girl

Paul,<BR>Keep your head up and read your Bible. The only times I really feel bad is on the days I don't read my Bible first thing in the morning. It's a great way to start out the day. Anyway, as you saw in my post to Amanda, I tried to explain what she has put you through and how to understand why you have come to this point. Even now, after going through two A's, you have struggled with this decision and that should tell her how much you have sacrificed. I hope she doesn't give up and is able to win you back, but if not, you fought the good fight and I agree with Happy_girl, there is only one set of footprints right now, but hopefully you will let HIM set you down soon!!<BR>Floored

Hi Paul,<P>I understand very well. You don't want the old life as it was, but it sure would have been nice to rebuild a new one, huh?<P>...and history, even if it was bad mixed with the good, is still your history. It hurts to see it die away...<P>I'm sorry for your continued pain.<P>You are a good, good man. Please don't forget that!<P>Sheryl<BR>(used to be new_beginning)

Dear Paul,<BR>I have read up you and your wife from time to time. I am sorry things turned out this way. I feel God will open another door for you and it will be like a new beginning for you.<P>You sound like a wonderful man who has stayed in the game too long.<P>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Hey Paul,<P> You should feel sad, it's a sad day for you, and there's nothing wrong in feeling it.<P> You have suffered a loss, you will grieve, grieving is a process, and you will go through it.<P> There will be an end to the process. You will get there.<P> Sadness is part of being alive, the human experience. It's only a feeling, albeit a powerful one.<BR> <P> Feel the way you feel. Look to family and friends for support. ( You have a ton of friends here!)<P><BR> I have the feeling there is a very lucky woman somewhere who will meet you, someday.<P><BR> God bless you Paul,<P>------------------<BR>Gregg

Hey Paul,<P> One more thing. God never gives you what you can't handle! There may be something wonderful in store for you!! Hang in there, Dude!!<P> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR>Gregg

I'm sorry to hear the news Paul. Although I know that it will be better for you in the long run, if your wife is continuing to act the way she has, and not see what she had done to you. I pray that you are able to find peace with your decision. Like Gregg said, God won't give you more than you can handle. <P>Tigger

Dear, dear Paul...<P>I will keep you in my prayers and my thoughts all day Thursday...I am so very sorry.<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=

Paul,<P>It is indeed very sad. I do hope that Amanda does see what has happened and tries to straighten herself out. I realize that you have done all that you can do, and much more than many of us could do. I hope that this divorce while very sad does bring you peace and a happier life. I hope it does for Amanda also.<P>Take good care and let us know what is happening in your life.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

Hey Paul,<P> That lucky woman could be Amanda!<P> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR>Gregg

Paul,<BR>So sorry you will be in our prayers as Thur draws nearer.<BR> with love flowerseed

K: She says she still wants to, but personally it felt like a phase. She has told me she will not try to rebuild anymore but that I am welcome back anytime. At least that's the gist I got. Actually this 'attitude' has made it easier on me. I know that doesn't make you none to happy but... <P>happy_girl: Am I open to remarriage? I have always maintained that the future is not known. I would not presume to say that I would not remarry her in the furture. She will always have a place in my heart. As far as working on things now...I think it's a mute point.<P>floored: I don't read as much as I should. I need to start one of those 'Bible in a Year' type programs. It would be beneficial no doubt. I struggled till I filed. Once that was done I pretty much knew there was no turning back.<P>Nyneve: Rebuild a new one, yeah, but not this time, last time. History is the one thing we definitely have. Why did you change your name?<P>gemini1: Too long? Perhaps you are right, I could name some that have been 'in it' longer. Boy that sure is a sad thought. I'll keep my eyes peeled for the door. <P>LyntonG: Someday...ok. Not any time soon though. I'm taking a break from the serious relationship business. Too much...stuff. Friends, relatives, and the Lord has gotten me this far. I will make it.<P>tigger4jdt: She doesn't act exactly like she has in the past, but she is running a 'parallel'. Peace would be nice.<P>catnip: Thank you for the prayers.<P>Just Learning: I'm hoping it brings us both a little peace and happiness. I still wish nothing but the best for her.<P>flowerseed: Don't know alot of your story, but thanks for taking the time to repond to mine. Prayers are always welcome.<P>My heart will break, and I will be sad. I will live on.<P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

Hey Paul---we're not married, so you don't have to try to make me happy... <P>I see Amanda struggling---it seems like she's saying most of the "right things", but I don't see the <B>actions</B> backing it up. And while I wouldn't have recommended that you file quite yet---I see no reason to drag your nearly empty lovebank that's full of holes back into a situation where it may get shot up again. She had a chance last time (and I'm guessing that she sounded an awful lot like she does now), and she blew it. Big time.<P>If she truly had convinced me that she'd be willing to walk the walk in terms of reconcilation, I'd be giving you a hell of a time (hey, what are friends for??? ). But the passive stance that she's taken <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>she will not try to rebuild anymore but that I am welcome back anytime<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> just makes me worried for you to get your hopes up again, at this time.<P>God bless you---and peace. It's not going to be a fun week.

Dear Paul,<BR>I am a little late with this, but I too hope tomorrow goes smoothly for you and that you get through it without too much heartache.<P>I'll keep you in my prayers.<BR>cd

Hey Paul,<P> Good luck tomorrow, buddy. I've been there, it's a b*tch!<P><BR> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR>Gregg

Hey Paul,<P> I have to ask you one thing,<P>There's 007, there's Q, there's M,**************, and then there is K!!!!<P>Is he watching all of us through our computer monitors??<P><BR> God bless you, ( Gonna have to stop walking around the house naked.)<BR><P>------------------<BR>Gregg

Praying for you and your family this morning, Paul.<P>God bless.

Well I'm off to court now. I think things should go ok. We'll see. Thanks for the prayers.<P>LyntonG: I think K does something like that.