My H has been nice ,asking to go places together. Involving me in business with my opinions and such. Why can't I just enjoy it and leave it at that? I know very little about the ow's plane.She has threatened to move to a bigger city ,a little closer to us, because she wants to go out and party.What a waste! Nothing more pathetic than a party girl over thirty! THe university is on break now so she isn't working.Also her name is off of the student directory. I don't know what is going on.My H doesn't want to discuss it.He acts as if he doesn't know her plans.I don't believe it. What to do now?

blue,<P>being that your H has not been totally up front with you in the past, i can see your hesitance to believe him, or trust him. it is difficult, especially when you have tried to give someone your trust again, and they step on it like it meant nothing. i would follow your gut feeling about it. what do you think? and also, tell your H that by cheating, etc, he gave you the right to ask questions whenever you want to. if he is doing nothing wrong, there should be no problem with it. i told my H from the beginning that i might have questions, doubts etc, later, and if i ever did, that the least he could do was answer me. luckily he does, and has never given me reason not to trust him. <P>you will stop being suspicious when you can trust him again, and when he shows you his sincerity in not being involved anymore with OW, etc. i pray that he is being honest with you.<P>happy_girl

Blue I know what HappyG said is TRUE!!!!<P>My H acted like that before. That is how I know that he's here to stay with me now.<P>I ask ANYTHING now. He answers. We have discussed her in full now....right down to her stretch marked body! He said she was embarassed by them and how ugly they were.(3 kids will do that I said)<P>If your gut tells you there is a problem...listen to that.<P>If he's not being honest maybe try plan B.<P>It will give him time to miss you and figure out what he has to do to be with you.<P>Bless you.<P>Love,<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

You have to trust that what your H is telling you is true. If it is ever proven that it isn't true, well deal with it at that time. <P>Now as far as OW and what her situation is... that is another story. If you have the time & inclination you can contact her about her plans & check with school, etc. That is not an issue of trusting your H. <P>But be careful where you spend your time & energy. I would suggest putting OW out of your mind and focusing on the good things you have right now with your H. This OW has gotten too much from you. DO NOT GIVE HER ANY MORE! She doesn't deserve space in your head. If your H sees a confident woman who goes on with her life and is secure in her life with her H, well I cannot help but believe that he will love you all the more for that. This OW is clingy & manipulative. I cannot think he would enjoy that. <P>Trusting is a BIG leap of faith. It goes against the grain of everything you have experienced in the past few months with your H (deception, etc). But for the sake of your children and family you have to try & do this. It is also for your own peace of mind. In the long run it is much less stressful without all this suspicion ruling your life.<P>Take care... Carolyn