hi! i am new to the board... i have been married for almost 3 years.. I have 2 children to previous relationships. my current H was in jail various times in the past for drugs, and fraud..then he came to know Jesus. that was who i married ; a born-again christian;or so I thought. then, over time he dropped God and picked up his old habits slowly.. Our main problem is his lieing.. he has had cyber-sex.. he has had numerous conversations with women on the phone that he found through phone dating services.. he has done some things since we've been married that he is now on probation for.. I have tried repeatedly to talk to him;everytime he becomes angry... ignores me for a while..then says he's sorry and avoids the whole subject..its a vicious cycle that I cant take anymore!! He wont go to counseling-and he just keeps lieing~and I just have come to the place where to ignore it and not deal with it seems the only way to have any peace in my house~ but I have no peace... I really dont know if thats abuse? or an addictive personality........ all I know is I cant go on like this..please, can someone help me??????? the lieing is in all different aspects of our relationship; from sexual issues to money...to suspected illegal activities...

As the former wife of an addict, I can clearly tell you that it is most likely from the behavior that you describe that he is using again.

I would encourage you to seek out an Ala-non group or another Christian based program that assists families in dealing with addicts in their lives.

If he is involved in criminal activities you need to take yourself and children if you have them and leave. His activities could seriously endanger you and your children's safety.

Also be aware of the legal ramifications of "forfieture". If he is arrested for dealing, anything he owns could be confiscated by the police as being purchased by monies from his illegal activities and sold at auction leaving you in serious financial difficulties.

It is simply not wise to continue to live in the same residence with an active addict. I'm not saying divorce him, but I am saying get yourself to safety.

Praying for you from my own experience.

wow~ as i read your post tears just streamed down my face.......so obvious,yet I never thought of that! a pastor that knows him well said the same thing a while back..but i disregarded it... i also found paraphanelia;papers and a hemostat..but disregarded it too.thanks so much.!