My H tells me a little while ago that he has to go a few places BY HIMSELF today and won't be back for 4 hours or so.Lately, i'd say 4 months or so, if he works on Sunday he takes one of the boys or all of us with him. Needless to say i was upset.I asked if the baby and I could go since my broken vehicle had rendered me home bound .He became aggitated and told me not impose myself on hi.That he has tommorrow off and he has to work today. Oh yeah, first he said you can come but i will be aggravated with you the entire time.I haven't seen him flip like this in a long time. I said go by yourself and I started to cry. He became more aggitated. I am very upset and suspicious. If he is going to see the baby he should just tell me. Just last Sunday he was going to do the same work as today and he wanted all of us to go. I wish I could just take off. He knows that I can't go more than a few miles in my vehicle. I am very disappointed. I am feeling flashbacks and I am bordering on hysterics. I haven't felt this way in months and I hate it. He is gone and I want to wring his neck.

Jeez blue,<P>I am sorry he is doing this. Does ow still contact him? Do you have a friend that knows that could maybe drive by ow's house and see if he is there? I know that is probably a love buster, but for my own peace of mind I would have to know.<P>He says he is going to work? Can you call him there? Is it possible for ow to bring oc to his work? Dont mean to put ideas in your head, just want to get a little perspective on this. Was he already irritable before he said he was going by himself?<P>What he is doing aside, this is definately a love buster. I would say when he comes home, after kiddos go to bed it would be time for a talk. There is no room for secrecy if you are going to heal at all in this situation. That is not fair to your peace of mind. And if what he is out doing is all on the up and up then he isnt helping himself out either. It is impossible to build trust if he acts like he is hiding anything.<P>I know my post is not going to make you feel better. I do not know what to say when things are like this. My H went out the other night and said he'd be home at 9:15. At 1:00 am I called up there. I couldnt stand it. At first I was like screw it, but my plan was to smoke a cig, read a book and go to bed. Guess who had taken my cig? OOOOOO, was I pissed! I know for me it would be impossible to calm down unless I knew where he was. So I called and he said he was on his way. I had him go back out when he got home to get me some cig, since he had smoked them all. I didnt mention it that night, but we ended up having one of our knock down dragg outs the next day. Which are always horrible at first, but usually end on a good note.<P>Maybe, do you have someone who can come get you and the kids for a while? Get out of the house....breath some fresh air?<BR>Praying for you and him.<P>Love<BR>bw

Hi Blue,<P>So sorry you're having to deal with this. I'll tell you what I would do (in fact, what I have done a few times...just for my own peace of mind!)<P>Check out his story, whether that means calling a friend to drive you by where is supposed to be, by OW's house..whatever. Even though we are trying to regain the trust we once had, this sort of behavior by your H does NOT exactly reassure you. I think we BS's have the right to the truth..however good or bad it may be. At least with truth, we know what we're dealing with. And don't forget, we are dealing with husbands who don't exactly have a problem with lying and deception.<P>Keep us posted.<P>Love,<BR>anniem

blue,<BR>I'm so sorry for your situation. Like the others said, is there any way you can check up on him? I see no reason why he shouldn't honestly tell you where he's going unless he's being deceitful. You don't deserve this treatment. Have you read up on Plan A and Plan B possibilities?<P>Prayers and angel wings,<BR>J

Well he returned home 2 hours later. He said that he saked the boys if they wanted to go with him and they said no. They had made plans to go swimming at a friends house, shich they did. I told H that him leaving on Sundays gives me serious flashbacks. He used to go off by himself a lot on Sundays to see the oc. I now know he was where he says he was. Maybe decreasing the paxil down so much has made me more paranoid. I just don't know anymore.

Blue, is your doctor monitoring your decrease in anti-d's? I know that I have tried several times to go off my Zoloft, and have turned into a crazy hysterical person ... easily agitated, fly off the handle at nothing kind of stuff ... I don't like the person that I become and told my doctor. He sees nothing wrong with me continuing on the meds if I know that I am better on then off...<P>While I can certainly understand how your H's actions today would make you crazy, I am sure that a decrease in anti-d meds could make it much more difficult for you to handle the situation.<P>I'm glad you found out he was where he said he was. That must have made you feel better?<P>Hugs going your way!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Dear Blue,<P>From your description of your H's behaviour, Blue, I think that anyone would agree with you that it looked pretty suspicious. Sometimes spouses forget that, even when things start to improve in the marriage, there are still these awful triggers that make us crazy and make us worry about their honesty and faithfulness. This is all so normal and it happens to every one of us.<P>I am glad that your H managed to put your fears to rest. Just keep nudging him -- in a very gentle way -- that you need his reassurance to help you get through. I think you handled it fine. But, if you are worried about your meds, maybe you should check with your doctor again.<P>Glad you are better!<BR>love,<BR>heavenly

Hey Blue is everything ok now?<P>I would check up whenever you feel like it.<P>I hope it's better now. Don't you hate that feeling?<P>I hope you are ok now.<P>Love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Blue,<P>Are things better today? Have you and H had a talk about all this? I hope you OK.<P>Mrs. Job