I just wanted to say that i got "blasted" for resonding to part of a post that was not directed at me(about non "fathers" being able to show fatherly pride) Some of you are right maybe right now i am overly sensitive, hell my whole world and my view of it have been put through the wringer. i will try not to take comments personally. a simple "don't take things personally, sometimes nasty things get said in general" would have done just fine though. See even that last line shows how overly sensitive I am to things right now. I want to go back to "the hell what the world thinks, i know what is right" but i can't get to that point. i always feel like i am being judged right now, like "she should leave him, she should/shouldn't except oc, boy she must be horrible wife for hubby to have affair. the only thing I am sure about right now is that children are innocent and i stick up for them which can sometimes cause problems. <p>[This message has been edited by whatif? (edited May 29, 2001).]

whatif,<BR>I too find myself very sensitive to some issues since the affair/oc! I too feel like as others find out about it, I/we will be judged very harshly, (though that has NOT been my experience with it so far!). I feel like some will condemn us for not having more contact while others will condemn us for having any contact at all, some will condemn me for staying, all will condemn H for doing it, some might condemn me for not being "good enough" for him so he strayed...<P>Our fears run wild, don't they? Boy mine sure do! But I'm trying to let faith not fear run my life.<P>whatif, I was surprised at how harsh others sounded speaking to you. You overreacted, but so did they, so you can say we are AAAAAAAAAAALLLL on tenderhooks at times, eh? The stress we have each been through is unbelievable.<P>God bless us one and all. xoxox<BR>J

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jenny:<BR><B>whatif,<BR> whatif, I was surprised at how harsh others sounded speaking to you. You overreacted, but so did they, so you can say we are AAAAAAAAAAALLLL on tenderhooks at times, eh? The stress we have each been through is unbelievable.<P>God bless us one and all. xoxox<BR>J</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR> thank you for the very kind words.<BR>

what? what happened? did i miss something? i didnt blast you, did i? sorry you are feeling this way, but it is understandable.<P>I have a really good friend of mine, whom I love very much, that actually comes here to MB. She wont come over to our forum often bc she disagrees so much. Her and I cant talk about this situation much bc she seems to either make me angry or guilty. sometimes makes me sad. Anyway, dont feel bad about how you feel. No one should.<P>Love<BR>bw

OK. I never apologize and I never explain, but feelings of a newbie are at stake here and I was harsh because I just wanted to nip disrespectful judgments in the bud, and by doing that, I was that way myself.<P>We had such a rash of people snarling at us about OC issues last month or two and some of the people were 'plants', not sincere MB'ers. My mantra, unfortunately, has become 'the best defense is an offense'. I am so afraid of people censoring our words/thoughts and causing us to measure each word in order not to 'offend' someone that I feel it has just gotten so far out of hand at times that a quick swift crack back into reality and what is important here, and accepting other people's feelings and not taking them to heart or taking offense needlessly will go a long way in making this a friendly, accepting and safe haven for all of us.<P>Just a general understanding of the ground rules of acceptance and tolerance of each other without judgments or allowing ourselves to be easily offended when something is not directed at us is a good start.<P>I don't beleive I have ever apologized for any of my hard line comments before, whatif?, but I am going to do it now because you're a good kid and I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I was just protecting cd because I understood what she was saying. I am sorry I hurt your feelings, whatif?<P>I admire your courage to stay and stick up for yourself. I am also impressed with your ability to love and accept OC.<P>God bless<P>Catnip =^^=

[QUOTE]Originally posted by catnip:<BR>catnip i really appreciate the "apology" and clarification. I can honestly say I went back and looked at some of my old postings to see if i had gotten nasty with you in some way, because it did feel like a personal attack on me. i hope everyone knows I NEVER though a motivating factor was torturing the ow i guess i should haver just written"isn't it a nice bonus that the OW is tortured" but i honestly thought if i wrote that people would think that is a motivating factor for involment but it kind of backfired. Anyway i appreciate it because I am a FIGHTER and that is what made me stay but if i wasn't a fighter by nature i would have definately felt like crap and stopped posting.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by whatif?:<BR><B>Anyway i appreciate it because I am a FIGHTER and that is what made me stay but if i wasn't a fighter by nature i would have definately felt like crap and stopped posting.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Whatif?<P>This is excellent. I am so glad we/I didn't scare you away and that you have the ability to get past conflict. I'm that way, too. Especially when I can respect someone because they have grit...and I see that in you.<P>Hahahaha...I suppose we could look at this as a weird form of sorority hazing or something.<P>Warmest<P>Catnip =^^=<P>

Catnip...you are soooooo silly... <BR>You always make me smile..<BR>

Hey catfight,<P> Yeah!! A hazing!!<P> We could put a bananna in the toilet and*****<P> <P> Sorry, had a flashback to TKE house.<P> God bless flounder,<P>------------------<BR>Gregg

Broken Wing and Gregg:<P>YOU two are the 'silly' ones....hahaha...you guys are an easy audience. If I ever did stand-up, I'd want you two to be front and center...Broken Wings to laugh at my jokes and Gregg to heckle me. <P>Going to catmandu....<P>Catnip =^^=

Hey Catywampus,<P> Aw, I wouldn't heckle you. I could be your straight man!<P><BR> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR>Gregg