There are so many things that I'd like to tell OW. When I first found out, I wrote a letter to her in a journal I keep to vent. I finally showed it to my husband, and he told me that she was not worth it. That the letter would show her how much she had hurt me, and that I did not need to give her that power. There are other things that I would like to tell her, but I can not for fear that she will use it against my husband or other child in future (especially, since haven't been to court yet for CS). She already told my H that I was tripping because he and I bought oc clothes together the week I found out-my way of coping and emphasizing that child is innocent and needs to know that she has a father. Instead of letting these thoughts ferment in my life, I'm going to vent here, so please forgive me and feel free to join in at any time . <P>Things that I would say:<P>1)You disgust me! You say you understand what I'm feeling because you've had it happen to you-WRONG. You are disgusting, no decent human being would inflict this kind of pain or turmoil on another person, even their worst enemy-i.e. you aren't remotely decent.<P>2)You are a big S#!T!. You say that you've had married men come on to you and have turned them on. You're soooo disgusting! You came on to this married man. You went out with him when he went out with his sleazy, no respect for anything but their d@#!s friends. You took advantage of his incapacitated state-drunk, depressed, and hating life. You are an opportunist and a great manipulator. You proved it by this latest action w/ my H, but your past life reinforces that fact that you're a low life! You already have a two year old from another relationship w/ another married man-So apparently, you prefer other women's men.<P>3) You are the lowest kind of female. You are the type that give are gender a bad reputation because you are a great manipulator with no morals and no value for yourself. You'd do anything to get ahead.<P>4) You are the worst kind of human being there is because you told me some of the truth, but then you had to add false details in hopes of getting me to break it off w/ my husband, and hoping to console him. <P>5) Well I've got news for you: my husband finally find out what kind of trashy, crappy, manipulator you are and wants NOTHING to do with your SOILED self! <P>6) Another thing: I WON'T leave my h because of you. I entered this marriage for the LONG HAUL!!!!!! I knew that there would be good and bad time. You've just caused us to hit the lowest pit in our roller coaster ride, and just like in the ride we'll roll right past you and your crap!<P>7) My h won't leave me, especially for you! Your manipulations have only helped him remember and emphasize that he married the best woman for him-one who is supportive, loving , understanding, always there for him, an most importantly FORGIVING even in the worst situations. <P>8) you might try to tell me another lie like my h is only staying with me because of our son, but I know better. My husband knows that he is free to leave this marriage whenever he desires, I won't hold him back or be vindictive-like you. Unlike you, I would NEVER use our son (an innocent child) against him. He would always have unlimited access and I would struggle to live close to him for the sake of our child. I would also never keep my husband from finding happiness elsewhere, especially if he felt he couldn't find it with me. That's what's known as unconditional love and its exactly what my husband gets from me-it's something I'm positive you'll never understand. <P>9) My h's involvement w/ you has served many purposes: it reinforces the fact that we are survivors; our marriage will be stronger thatn ever before; what we have is true love that can withstand his fall from grace, and my recuperation from its fall out. <P>10)As far as I'm concerned, my h just served as a sperm donor for the lowest form of life on this earth-You! He just failed to ask me for permission!<P>Thank you for bearing with me. I know that this is VERY LONG WINDED. As you can see this would give her ammunition against me. Unlike her, I'm able to control myself-i.e. these feelings have nothing to do w/ oc, nor would I convey or share them w/ oc.<BR>IVC<P>ps-this isn't meant to offend those decent OW who lurk and occassionally post here. You've shown your remorse and compassion. My OW doesn't have any!<BR><p>[This message has been edited by IVC (edited May 29, 2001).]

Go ahead girl, vent, get it off your chest here. Because as you mentioned, telling her all that would let her know exactly how she's affected you. And you DO NOT want to give her that power. <P>Keep her envious, and like CD, show her kindness and the united front of your marriage. That is your sweetest revenge!<P><P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Oh one more...ow owes me about 8000 dollars in rent (for renting my H) and how much is it to get sperm these days..it seems to cost everyone here quite a bit! Ok let us say 3000 dollars for the sperm. And not to mention all the loans you took out on MY money! For all the crap you bought, dinners you ate, cheap hotels you stayed in...I figure that comes to at least another 3000. Ok and lets is not forget also the car you lent my DRUNK husband to drive to who knows where and the 500 dollar fine he got for his DUI and the 5000 dollars for the lawyer that YOU hired for him! What a rip!! The lawyer did absolutely nothing! Way to go you good for nothing wh*re! Ok maybe the DUI he should pay half for but not the high priced didnt do a thing lawyer! I figure that comes to a grand total of...19,500 plus INTEREST!!!<P>OOOOOOO that felt good!!!!!!! And I am supposed to be in recovery..hehe

broken wings<P>it has definitely turned out to be a HIGH PRICED sperm donations; particularly for us and our husbands-the blundering thoughtless idiots, that we apparently truly love because we are working through this instead of giving up. <P>ivc<BR>