ember,<BR>I just read your reply in the name thing. You sound just like me when I first came here. So sorry for your pain you found the right place. Post your story and we will see what we can do to help you. I dont have much time right now just wanted to let you know I have been there and have felt the same way things get better hang in there. with love flowerseed

Ember,<BR>Five years? I still see your pain. Tell us about it will you?<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Ember,<P>Welcome to the group. You sound as if you have been in a lot of pain for a very long time. I hope that coming to this group will help. <P>I believe that most marriages can be saved if both parties are willing to work hard. The point of the Marriage Builders theory is that one person can be the catalyst of that change, even when it is the betrayed spouse. Try to get through all of the Harley's material on this site. Many here swear by them. I have read them, taken what seems helpful to me and left the rest. I will admit that the plan A stuff feels a bit like blaming the victim, but I did implement a lot of it and things are improving in our marriage about 9 months after Dday, but it was a long haul and there were many times I just wanted to scream "I am the injured party here, why am I having to do all the work?"<P>Post often and let us know more of your story and how you are doing.<P>Mrs. Job