Hello, all,<P>Thank you for your supportive comments to my post re: ending my marriage. You are all so wise, and I appreciate your thoughts and caring. I am still in turmoil about my marriage, my life, myself. There are soooo many other problems going on in my life at present: serious financial difficulty, possibility of foreclosure on our home (has been for sale for many months), just learned extra summer job I had counted on is no longer available, one son having serious emotional troubles and suicidal thoughts, not feeling well physically, still can't adjust to seeing OW 2-4 times per week for visitation pickup/dropoff. Add that to H who "talks the talk" but that's about it. Then, counselor tells me that he believes H suffers from NPD and I read about the grim reality of living with and loving NPD sufferers, I just get overwhelmed.<P>Catnip, I have been concerned about you since you have been posting so little lately. When I read that your H has started drinking again and your world is falling apart too, my fears for you were confirmed. WHAT IS THE MATTERS WITH THESE GUYS? In my reading about personality disorders, I see that one of the characteristics of most disorders is that those with personality disorders do not (cannot?) experience emotion the same way that those with healthy personalities do, and that those of us who choose to live with such people had better learn to accept them for what they are (or are not.) THAT is my real dilemma. Do I really want to spend the rest of my life COPING rather than LIVING? I don't think so, yet I hate to walk away from a 27 year relationship and a man I love. (I guess I love him. Sometimes, I'm not even sure of that anymore. As my counselor said, is a love, or habit?)<P>Anyway, I know I'm rambling, but this is about as lucid as I get these days. Catnip, I think you are in much the same dilemma as I am, and I think others of you are too. By the way, if a dear friend or my son or daughter were to explain a situation like this to me and ask if they should stay, I'm sure you all know how I would respond. "Let me help you pack!)<P>Oh well....it's great life if you don't weaken.<P>love, anniem

Oh anniem! Two- four times a week? Where do you find the time? That sure is a lot.....how old is oc? 4?.<P>As far as your son goes my son is still harboring "rage" toward ow. Not depression thank goodness, meds are doing a great job...just he will not go there to get baby! He said many times he'd like to kill her cuz of the things she's done especially over the last few weeks!!!<P>I try to talk calmly and humerously to him telling him if he hurt her and went to prison I'd never get over it...he's MY baby and I couldn't bear to live without him. I also tell him I'd like to "pick her off myself"....heh heh heh....lightly though so he gets the picture it's not right.<P>If it bothers him so maybe you could let him stay home on pick-ups.<P>My son however loves the baby and now is angered at her "taking" him away from us. It's always something. You know? Not always easy.<P>Sorry about your job and finances, we'll soon be suffering that too as soon as cs is put into place. Oh well....Nothing we can really do eh?<P>Vent whenever you want to.<BR>I hope you all soon come to a better place in your lives.<P>Prayers to you.<P>Love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

hugs and prayers to anniem and catnip!!

ditto on the hugs and prayers for anniem and catnip.<P>anniem, look deep. you need to do what is right for you. decide whether you want to live or cope. what a way to put it. you deserve to be happy. we all do. it is up to us to make sure we get to where happy is for us.<P>catnip, sorry you are going through all this pain again. we're here for you.<P>happy_girl