At first this was my private getaway...my escape. Now I would like to open my whole life to my H again, including my beautiful friends on here. I would also like to have him see what really goes on on our side and thought me might be able to give some insight on their side of the fence. I told him about this site when I first found it, I was just so excited at the moment that I discovered I was not alone. I have also had him come read a post before concerning what to do about ow. I have told him I was inviting him into my world. Nothing. He has never said anything at all about this forum and I am here nearly every day...I try to be anyways. I would think he would at least be curious. At first I thought he might be upset I was telling complete strangers intimate details of our lives and nothing from him.<BR>So I am curious...what does you husband think of this forum? Does he ever come here himself?

bw,<BR>my H is incredibly private and would never come here himself, but he's okay with me being here anonymously. He has heard me talk about some situations from here and even offered some opinions on tough cases. He liked the MB principles and questionairres that helped our marriage.<P>I hope you and hubby find balance and happiness. <BR>J

My husband's feelings about this site has evolved from hostility and contempt in the beginning ("If you spent as much time working the business as you do complaining about me on that forum, maybe we could save our business!" "What do you say about me? Are you telling them all our personal business? etc)<BR>to curiosity, "Who are these people? See? We are not that special...there are others in this situation!"<BR>to acceptance and encouragement, "it's good you have a place to vent some of your anger and resentment...I hope it is helping you."<BR>to finally, "Hey, if there are any WS's who want help on how to get through this, I'll be happy to help."<P>So, it's a process...my husband is a very curious, paranoid and involved person, however, after two years he is no longer threatened by this site...just very, very grateful.<P>Catnip >^..^<

Catnip, <P>My husband too is evolving when it comes to this site. At first he was very hostile. He didn't like the fact that I was sharing details of our situation. He's an extremely private person. <P>Then one day I let him read a couple of posts where someone else was in real pain and the response everyone had. They were so encouraging and uplifting. Concentrating on the betterment of the marriage, etc. He appreciated that.<P>Now that he is more indifferent, every once in a while I'll tell him about some of the funny stuff we say about OW. Like the uterous opportunist, and womb whore, and extortionist. He laughs now because he has a whole new outlook on our OW. In the beginning he was so defensive of her. I think it came out of that obligation to respect the mother of his child. Then she started showing her true selfish colors. He's starting to see her in a whole new light.<P>He knows that a lot of the reason I accept the OC and my staying in the relationship has a bunch to do with my being able to come here and see other people handling the same situation we are in. I share the success stories with him often. Especially MC's DNA results. I know he won't admit it, but I saw a glimmer of hope in his eye!<P>I don't think I'd like him to come here regularly. I like having something of my own. If he wanted to share with other WS I don't think I would mind. But just to read my stuff, I don't think so.<P><P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

My H hates the internet period, unless of course he needs something I can look up here. But, he is happy I have this site, and people to share my feelings with etc. I have talked to him about the site, and used it as an opening to different discussions. I think the best thing for him, that he probably doesn't realize is partially attributed to the forum, is that I don't rag on him so much. I can vent here if need be, and not torture him. He has proved he is sorry for what he did/the pain it caused/the whole impact it had, and I don't like to rub it in his face over and over. So, coming here saves him from my occasional rants! Keeps away those lovebusters!<P>happy_girl

Mine dosent mind me coming here, when I first found this site I told him about it. He is happy for me. This is pretty much my own little get away. My h dosent use the computer very often every time he touches it he messes something up. with love flowerseed

My H hated it at first....now asks about different people here!<P>He doesn't use a computer.<P>We read many posts together now.<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

From the very beginning, part of my struggle was that I could not find ANYONE ELSE who had been through this horrible ordeal. When I found this site/forum, a light of hope came through for me. Friends...understanding! I told H of this site IMMEDIATELY and he was VERY excited for me. He did not care that I was spilling my guts..my hates, my fears...EVERYTHING, to you all! He was just happy that I had found other's who could understand and give guidance! Thank you to you all!<BR>~Irish

Hey Irish,<P>Glad you hubby is so supportive of this site. Mine was too, although I think he thought I lived here for a while...lol. He understands that I love the people on this board and we all have a kinship. There are even some that I consider personal friends. It is sooooo good to know you are not alone.

My H is right now a bit jealous. He was angry at first. I used to send him posts from MB and he would read them, make comments, agree and disagree with the other posters. <P>He is a private person but realized that he was not being very private by having so many relations out there. Claimed OW was private but someone who advertises for M/M in the personal adds and then sends body part pictures over the internet, now come on.... a private person? I think not. <P>Anyway, he does read some of the posts here but is not interested himself. Says everyone know too much about him and would probably trash him if he ever came on. <P>He met a couple from here last weekend. H was kind of intimidated but we were able to share a nice meal together. <P>Progress is slow but it is progress. Nothing in life is guaranteed so we just keep trying to make it better. H is a good writer, I hope one day he can come here and help and be helped. <P>That would make me happy. <P>L. <BR>

It is indeed a great feeling to find this board. I couldn't agree with you more.<P>I have not shared this sight with H. I have never really given it much thought. Thank-you all for this insight. I will have to teach him to use the internet. <P>I now see sunshine. Boy, it sure was a great big cloud, and for such a long time. There are blue skies after all. <P>ember