Hello Everyone, I hope you all can help a guy try to save his marriage of 7 years. We have decided to seperate for 6 months and see each other once a week. Of course, we are wanting seperate things at the end of this right now, I want to stay together. She works at an Airlines
Company, and she is around single people all the time. We have no married friends living around us, because we just moved here about a year ago. I know the single people are an influence on her, with stories of all their single fun. She has moved out, to "find herself"; but I think it is so she can see another guy. How far it has gone I cannot say. But, I know she calls him.
Our one day a week is pretty good together. We go to nice dinners and do usual date things; We hold hands and talk, but nothing intimate.
She does stay at our house that night, and we touch. It seems like I am making progress towards getting her back, but I do not want to chase her!
She knows how much I love her, and she complimented me last night on how great a husband I am. But, she is still leaning towards the single life. Does it seem like she is playing me or do you think she
is really confused about her feelings. How can I keep her looking towards our future together without pushing her away? Thanks for the
support!
Chris

Dear CG,

Welcome to MB.

I will throw out some issues in a rather random order. Your post is short, and it takes more of a thread to fully dicuss pertinent issues.

Your power seems low. What is your potential?

How old is your wife? What does she say about children?

Did you ever hear the phrase, KEEP HER BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT?

You seem to be listenting to your wife, rather than leading her, anticpating her and guiding her in the direction that fulfills her deep maternal and security needs.

Do you have any pets? What are the chances of getting her to change jobs from the airlines?

Have you ever ridden a horse? You seem unaware of a leadership role as a spouse, or husband. When you ride a horse, other than a trail ride, if you are guiding the horse where you wish the horse to go, you need to plan your encouragement ahead of time. You seem to be behind the curve.

You are probably correct that your environment is not conducive to marriage. But you seem powerless, or devoid of ideas, of how to change your environment. What is your idea of the ideal marriage? What type of home life did your wife have? What are her ideals for a family and a future? How can you best seem to fit into the picture?

What about finding an ugly girl who will appreciate your company? Who will give you less worry about who she is fooling around with? What about a woman in your line of work or interests? Is it clear to anyone else that your wife is not a good wife? At least to you? Why are you so blind? Is it because your wife is good looking? What kind of genes does she have for your kids? You have a chance to bail out, and you have not applied today's technology to the decision that is before you. What kinds of deficiets or shortcomings are on her side of the family? Her genes? How will she treat you in your old age? What if you become sick. Will she be gone with the first healthy 747 pilot that comes along?

I have been married to an attractive lady for 28 years, and I have little confidence that she does not fool around. I have no confidence in her dedication to take care of me if I get sick. Since I have been where you might be at, my words may seem unforgiving, but my friend, I am where you are headed, and I encourage you to consider jumping ship now, rather than experience my life, spent trying to please someone who is difficult to please, with little likelihood of significant reward.

Quipper

<small>[ October 20, 2003, 03:13 PM: Message edited by: Quipper ]</small>