I hate walking on my sidewalk in the rain; lots of snails are there. They make a yucky crunch if you step on one, then I feel guilt at ending a life. Okay, so it's a tiny nasty slimey life and I don't even like snails--they eat my plants! But it's not up to me what God intended that stupid snail to do, so I walk in the grass where I won't hear them crunch.<P>The XOP are big snails in our lives. It's not up to us to get revenge; their destiny isn't ours (thank God!). I stand on principle--value life--no matter how SLIMEY and DISGUSTING it is. <P>Wouldn't this be a great analogy when pain is fresh and violence is a daily fantasy??? (She's not worth the jail time, either!) <P>Best wishes to recovery and nonviolence

So Jenny. Is it o.k. if I get a big kick outta watching someone else smash the snail into the ground???<P>Last night the OW called here boooooohooooooing again. I'm the only one she can talk to because only I know her pain. Yadda yadda yadda.<P>Long story short. She finally kicked out her suicidal, homosexual, leach of a brother. Mad becauase he has no where to live he told her live in boyfriend that she was still boinking my husband and other men. So now he's leaving her! So sad. You reap what you sowe. She's "so sad," & "how could he do this to me, I love him so much." <P>It felt so good to say, "I told you if you don't respect family you will never have one of your own."<P>I wonder if she even suspects I get a charge outta hearing her wallow.<P>Bad bad bad me.<P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Jenny,<P>Thank you for this on a day that I really need it. Last night I tried to have a normal conversation with my H. But when he says things like, "are you stalking her?" I have called her at work twice (she just hangs up) and I've driven by her house. H says, she'll get a restraining order if you don't stop and it will put us into the light and make me look bad. I said, who's us? H said him and I. (6 weeks since d-day, apprx 10 wks pg)<P>What the h** do you do when your H tells you to leave OW alone? (she called him and told him to tell me to back off)<P>I have not crossed the line and I will not, but it is infuriating when MY H appears to be siding with her and not me. Is he trying to protect her or himself? Why can't they understand that I want to be protected???? Uggghhhh!!!!<P>Thanks again, I'll try to get back on track...

Jenny,<BR> We have a big problem with slugs, I trap the nansty little creatures with little bowls of beer. They drown in there own glutious (is that a word or did I invent a new one). I'm a meanie. Now how can we apply this to the ow I think gem is doing just that.<BR> with love flowerseed

Flowerseed, NOW I know why you called your XOW a slug on the animal-themed post!! Haha! Okay, I have to admit drowning them in beer sounds so poetic (appropo) ... still, I can't do it.<P>MOJO, I'm sorry you're feeling so unsupported by your hubby. I can understand your urge to check out the "competition", but the affair is really over, right? Are you looking for signs of pregnancy? Is your H doing any of the recovery effort, or is he one of these "let's just forget about it now" kinda guys? THAT won't fly! I can't recommend recovery books enough--or counseling!<P>zebra, WOW, I can't imagine her being so ignorant as to unload on YOU! Can you laugh about it? I would! Not real polite, but the whole you reap what you sow thing is toooo obvious there and the revenge wasn't even yours. But for the kid's sake, I hope she gets her act together-what a yucky environment to grow up in.

Jenny,<P>How pregnant she was, was exactly what I was looking for. Also, I did want to "check her out" it's weird, I thought my H would chose someone prettier and not have such a HUGE As*<P>We are in counseling, but H still wants to just stop talking about the A and move forward. It's frustrating because I'm still obsessing. It's awful when he says, "we don't want to make her mad, just let sleeping dogs lie." I always respond well you know what they call female dogs!! He rolls his eyes and get defensive, then we just seem to start arguing all over again.<P>Best wishes!

Jenny,<BR> Actually they drown themselves. I dont have to do anything for some reason they love beer. I would leave the little buggers alone except they mess up my flowers if I dont have flowers I dont make any money. <BR> It must have been someone elses ow that was a slug mines a hihiena . with love flowerseed

Oh flower I'm so glad there's a relatively painless way to save your flowerbusiness, really. But the analogy to soooo funny to me... they love beer, they drown themselves in their own dumb actions, you don't have to do a thing... YEP! YEP! YEP!<P>Mojo, it sounds like you need a new line... female dogs is pretty funny (hey, I laughed!), but I think what you mean is something like: "it really hurts my feelings when you say that; I feel like you are trying to protect her and protect yourself, like my feelings are not important. You hurt me! When you can SHOW ME with words and actions that you are sorry you hurt me, that you care about us enough to put our relationship first, when you've talked about this with me and let me process what happened, then we can begin to let it go. Recovery from an affair takes about 2 years, experts say. We've still got a lot of work to do." <BR>What do you think mojo? I highly recommend the chapter in After the Affair that lays out concrete ways a couple can rebuild trust. I made a list based on that chapter, gave it to my H, and he's done every single thing off that list. THAT rebuilt trust!!!<P>Prayers to all,<BR>J

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MoJo7:<BR>[B]I thought my H would chose someone prettier and not have such a HUGE As*B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>What is up with all the OW's having big butts? Is it some kind of requirement for all WS's to find someone with a big banner across their ample rears that say..."Wide Load" hahaha<P>Catnip >^..^<<P>

Well my OW slimed her way out of town...talk about a slug..<BR>she is below a snail..she is a fungus..a gross slimy fungus<BR>an infected green slimy fungus....Gee, thanks girls I feel so much better...It is going to be a good day