I have been reading alot of posts about going to mediation. How do you get involved with that and is it through the courts or lawyers or what? Please explain in some detail...thanks!

tryin4sainthood, Mediation, in my state is where you are sent prior to going before a judge. It is a semi-formal meeting, with the father and mother of the child to determine whatever may be in question. <BR>The person conducting the mediation is an officer of the courts, however can not court order anything. <BR>The purpose of the mediation is to see if any agreements can be made without having to have a judge order them. The mediator in our situation is a social worker and she helped develope a visitation plan for my h to meet the oc since he had never met his own son for five years. Now that they have met and have had three months of visitation, the ow mother is refusing to extend the time or allow any holiday visits. She is and has always been very difficult to deal with. <BR>We are most likely going back to mediation to get a modification of visitation, remember, if nothing can be agreed on by the parents, then the mediator has to send it before a judge and then the judge just makes a decision and an order. It is almost like making your own decisions at the mediation so the judge does not make them for your, in our case the ow is always very difficult and then at the very end gives in. She has never had a problem going to the bank with the check she gets for cs yet she has major problems all the time with my family spending time with their flesh and blood relative. Out latest visit to mediation will also include a discusion of the fact the the mother of the oc has told him he is not allowed to call his father "dad", that he told him his grandparents hate my h, his father , and that my h , his father ran away from him when he was a baby. This is all not going to go over well with the social worker, she gave clear directions at the last mediation as to how to treat oc and how not to fight in front of him and ow fights with my h every chance she can get. Well hope all this has helped, sorry it have gone on so long, sometimes I just get away from myself when I am complaning about all the pain this stupid woman is causing to us and her own child. Sorry to have to see you join all of us here, but I know you will find much comfort and help at this forum. I have healed and learned much from all the wonderful people here. Peace, gabi1116<p>[This message has been edited by gabi1116 (edited June 14, 2001).]

Ditto to what Gabi said. My H and ow were in 2 different states and the mediation they did over the phone with the mediator. In our case nothing was solved. They could nto agree on jack. The next step for them would have been another mediation in a month but it never got that far. ow dropped her case and shagged.

Oh btw, in our case it was ordered through the courts and our lawyer was not involved at all. All he said was my H would have to do it.