I haven't post much lately, so much is going on my life. For once my husband lost his job last week, with all of our problems this to happen now. He's so depress that he got so drunk yesterday. I am not sure how we are going to manage financially, since he's only getting the minimum in unemployment, and I have almost used my savings. I still looking for work.<P>We are also getting ready for OW/OC court hearing next Thursday. She wants more money, and back due arrears since the child was born, will turn a 1 year old in July. She has an attorney, we can't afford one. I contact the legal aid society, they do not represent child support cases. The legal aid society only take cases when the father wants to establish paternity, and wants to provide the child with his last name, so ironic.<BR>My husband is keeping track of the money he spent on the child before I found out. He's also keeping a daily log and preparing his defense. He's also not filing the financial interrogation document unless is order by the court. I did follow the advice that the ladies in this forum gave me, since ow was threatening me of telling the courts that I was leaving with my husband and collecting child support for my children. <P>My husband and I started marriage counseling for the first time yesterday after almost 7 months of DD. I didn't go so well, everytime that I will tell the counselor how I felt about the betrayal, my husband will get defensive and will interrupt me up to the point when the counselor had to tell him that he need it to let me express how I felt and let the anger out. It also brought many painful memories, just hearing my husband talking about how the affair started, details about the affair, and OC issue. H and I will have to see our counselor next Tuesday. <P>I feel that I have so much to deal with at this moment, H and I not working, money is running out,financial worries, Ow & OC court hearing next Thursday. I feel everything is going down hill. I am so stress.

Mina, I am so sorry you're in this predicament. I don't know how to help, but I am willing to listen. You might check a websight for fathers rights and maybe there is a lawyer who would help you now and let you pay when your husband is employed again. <BR> On the job issue, I do not know where you are, but maybe there is a temporary employment company in your area that could help you both get jobs. Others should post soon and will have better info on courts and that. We never dealt with court. Good luck and DON'T GIVE UP!!!<BR>Texasgirl

Hang in there...<BR>Actually it sounds as though you have a good counselor who recognizes your right and need to speak. It will take time. I noticed men get really defensive when the truth is spoken. That defensiveness will hopefully diminish when H sees that the couseling will help both of you. I will be praying for you.

mina, so sorry to hear how tough things are for you. I know well the pain of couples counseling, but you need a forum to get the feelings out somehow.Is is possible family can help with finances till you two gain employment? Do you like the counselor? i know H and I saw two different ones, I actually felt supported by both but H found both difficult-too ashamed for realizing he made this mess , I think, and didn't like being reminded of that. WE are on hiatus from counseling, I am not sure what we are doing about that at all, just trying to live day by day. Keep up the counseling, though, I think with right counselor it can be helpful and you definately need a forum to express feelings, other than here. I know I often feel I am going crazy keeping things to myself, I wish I could tell someone but this trauma I cannot tell anyone- I am too ashamed of what H did to me, supposedly the love of his life. I feel he has publicly humiliated me and my kids, and they don't even know it yet. It hurts still a lot-just keep trying to make it day by day. I am praying for you.

mina I will pray for you. I am happy your counselor spoke up! I wish you the best.<P>Love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

mina,<BR> So Sorry things are going so terrible lately. It seems to happen that way we get all the bad dumped on us at once, remember there are better days ahead and soon hopefully the good stuff will start coming your way. Prayers for your family. Hang in there mina, I think this is Gods way of making us enjoy the little things in life that we normaly take for granted. with love flowerseed

Dear Mina,<P>I will be praying for you guys. But on the note of counseling...the counselor we had only charged us for one session but I had an hour and H had an hour. He said he used to do them together but all he saw was how people fought and that they were afraid to be truthful with the spouse there at first. So he did seperate sessions and then he would pull them together every now and then for a together session. It worked well for us....just a thought.<P>Love<BR>bw

Dear Mina,<P>I am so sorry for all you are going through.<BR>When it rains, it pours! You will be in my<BR>thoughts and prayers. It seems that on top of<BR>what has already happened, this burden gets so heavy.<BR>Let your feelings out here because we all understand.<BR>I hope that you and your H find employment very soon.<BR>Take care, fluke <BR>

Prayers for mina and H...

Sorry ladies, that I didn't respond to your replies sooner. My husband was in the computer yesterday afternoon and night searching for job. I couldn't ask him to let me use the computer since he doesn't know about this website I am not ready to let him know yet. I usually post when he's not at home.<P>My husband was called yesterday to come in for an interview today at some insurance company. The ironic thing about this job is that it's 5 minutes away from where OW &OC lives, we already leave 5 miles away from her. My husband went to the interview, I also went and wait for him in the car. The interview took about an 1 hour, when my husband was done I ask him how did it go, he told me it went so well that he was ask for a second interview with the big boss for next week. I am terrify if he gets this job, I know that we have so many financial worries. I wouldn't dare to ask him not to accept this job, but in the other hand it will drive me crazy knowing that he's working so close to where OW & OC lives. There is the trust issue, since he didn't come out the fog of ow & oc until recently, and I discover the affair and oc issue myself, he didn't had the courage to tell me. What else can go wrong at this point? <P>He can't ask his family for financial help. I do not speak to his family because they knew about ow & oc and kept it a secret, especially my mother-in-law she has welcome OW& OC in to her home. I am not sure if I should ask my parents for financial help they leave in another and they are both retire and leaving of their pension. My family knows about my h XOW & OC, I felt like I couldn't keep it a secret anymore,one day I call my parents because I was deep in depression and was considering suicide in the begining of DD. They have been very supportive although they live far away from me and I only get to see them when my children are on vacation from school. <P>One thing that I can feel happy at this moment when everything seems to go wrong is that I finally started counseling and have someone to talk to. I do feel comfortable with this counselor,she seems to really listen. I might follow brokenwings advice and ask for individual counseling. <BR>I have so much on my with mind court next week OW asking for more money, money that we don't have, and now just thinking that if my h gets this job, he will be so close to OW & OC. Sorry ladies for writing such a long post. I just wondering how can I keep my sanity in all this.

Hi, ladies, I brought up my post up, I need some advice, if my husband gets this job, which is only 5 minutes away from ow, how can I trust him not to be in contact with OW & OC.