H received docs from OW attorney stating that OW wants full legal & physical custody of OC. Also requesting unreasonable CS (which we are already paying) and giving H reasonable supervised visitation (what the hell is this?).<BR>H went over to OW house to change her mind, or we will pursue our legal rights. <P>Anyone, have any similar experiences or any advice? I need help right away, court date is a couple weeks away....<BR>

FullOfGrace our ow is threatening same thing! Supervised visits and $$$$$.... I didn't know she could do that.<P>No court date yet.<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

She may get full physical custody, but full legal custody is not likely. If H pursues his rights, legal custody will most likely be joint. As for "reasonable visitation"…steer clear of those specific words. What reasonable visitation translates into is, in a nutshell, SHE will be able to dictate when, where, and how visitation will take place. It means that the parents of the child will set up their own schedule. It's assumed that the parents are being cooperative and doing what is best for the child. Unfortunately it doesn't always play out that way. She can refuse visitation every time H requests it. If you want visitation, have the judge spell it out for you. You should have received paperwork to respond to her petition. That is where you want to make your demands. Be very specific. As for the CS, you'll probably have to pay the state guideline amount. Write that down on the response, but don't give a specific dollar amount. Your H may be able to claim you as a dependent, which could reduce the amount he has to pay. Also, if they ask for your income on the income declaration, you're income will place H in a higher tax bracket, which will also help reduce the amount of CS he has to pay. Do your homework! The internet is a great source of information.

Hi Full of Grace,<P>I don't know what state you live in, but I would check the laws for your state here:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.divorcenet.com" TARGET=_blank>www.divorcenet.com</A> <P>The also have forums for individual problems and for each state.<P>Ohbratti1 one is so very right when she say to find out what you're rights are. It's so important to KNOW the law in your state even before you speak with an attorney. Also, <BR>don't let a catch all phrase like "reasonable supervised visits" find it's way into any documents. Find out what the laws are in your state, and then ask over and above that. Be specific! <P>Document everything too. Phone converstations, email, visits, payments etc. Write it all down, word for word, in the most basic of terms without emotions. <BR> <BR>She can TRY to file for all she wants, but is doesn't mean she will get it. Your state may be a joint custody state or it may not be. <P>Also, you may want to visit:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.deltabravo.net/custody" TARGET=_blank>www.deltabravo.net/custody</A> <P>They have tons and tons of articles concerning father's rights, some legal help and forms (explaining how to fill them our correctly. Take special note to the article about taxes of fathers who are not married to the mothers of their children. <P>Above all, take care of yourself.<P>Love,<BR>CoR <BR>

Ditto to CoR and Obratti...dont get caught out in the cold with no sweater on. Ow tried this crap with us and when we sued back and basically contradicted everything...yes we were being difficult, she dropped suit. Hope is all pans out for yall.<P>Love and Prayers<BR>bw

I don't know if this is any help but in my state (NY) child support is figured on a per child basis. It is legally binding and there is no room for negotiation. It is (again my state) 17% of gross income for 1 child as well as 1/2 all medical, dental, child care, etc. These things (the medical etc.) can be negotiated but the CS figures can not. If I were you I'd get an attorney and quick (unless you already have one). You can agree to a different amount if the OW agrees but if she doesn't then the percentages stand. Right now my husband is paying me 31% of his income plus half of all the other stated expenses. He's lucky the OW hasn't asked for anything or he'd be paying her 17% on top of that. Also, who ever files for CS first gets a bigger piece of the pie so to speak. My 31% comes of his gross but her 17 % would be adjusted based on his income after he pays me (one of the reasons when he was so screwed up I filed right away) Only an attorney can tell you the best way to protect yourselves. Hope this was helpful.<BR> Kris

<BR>I have to agree with OB1 and CoR. The OW is basically suing for her dream scenario: She calls all the shots and gets all the money to boot. You need to see a lawyer, but here's probably what will happen:<P>(1) Your H will get joint legal custody. This handed out like a chit in negaotiations to make the father feel like he's getting something. Don't be swayed, all it basically does is provide access to school and health records. This should be automatic, morally-speaking, so don't let her lawyer imply that you should be thankful.<P>(2) Your husband should countersue for joint custody. Do NOT back down on this. Joint custody basically makes it much more difficult for the OW to win a "moveaway" suit, and it provides relatively more protection from access interference. Finally, joint custody can increase access to the child, which will in many states lower the CS amount.<P>(3) Do NOT accept "supervised visitation," that means that your H will only have access to the child while some supposedly neutral third party observes the exchange. Unless there has been some past abuse, its unwarranted and you should strongly oppose it.<P>(4) Do NOT EVER accept vague language stating "reasonable visitation." This is basically a license for her to hand over the child whenever she sees fit...and given that she is asking for such language, you can bet she isn't going to see fit very often. Instead, sue for joint custody - in a lot of states its a presumption that she will have to try and rebut. Whether you win joint custody, ABSOLUTELY INSIST on EXACT times your H will have the child. Take copious notes if she doesn't provide the child in a timely manner, and be prepared to file a contempt of court motion the moment she fails to hand over the child.<P>Bystander