Ok,<P>Now everyone join in on the chorus (in the key of E, becareful of all those #s):<P>"Getting to know you,<BR>Getting to know all about you<BR>Getting to Like you<BR>Getting to hope you like me<BR>Putting it nicely<BR>You are precisely,<BR>My cup of tea."<P>Since we are at different stages of recovery and all of us joined the board at different times I thought it might be nice to fill in a bit of the gaps in info. So I ask, <P>"How did you find out about the affair?"<P>I had *no* idea, not a single clue and I thought I was the one woman in the world this couldn't happen to. Not because I was so great to be married to but because I was so sure that his moral code and Catholic upbringing would make this an absolute impossibility for him. He was so conservative when I married him that at 21 I was his first love and his first partner. I myself had a more checkered past. I married him in part because he was such a straigh arrow. He met her in a bar where he went to play pool by himself two nights a week. I am independent and didn't mind the two evenings a week to myself to pursue my own hobbies, go to the theater with a girlfriend, see a movie I knew he wouldn't like, etc. (Looking at the Harley's site, I now see that we should have found things that we liked to do together, but in truth we did a ton of stuff together as well.)<P>Anyway, we were in the process of working the adoption last September, and I went on the computer to print out pictures of our home for the adoption agency. I opened the photo software and it opened up a whole pile of pictures of H, OW and OC on a business trip he had taken two weeks earlier during which they had their final falling out and he ended the A. all this two weeks before they peeled off 1/3 of his face to remove a tumor--avery long surgery with high risks of facial paralysis and that the tumor was cancerous. Neither was true, thank God.) He doesn't even need the plastic surgery that they were sure he was going to need. The surgeon was incredibly skilled. He is recovered nicely. The only follow-up is to have an MRI every six months to make sure the tumor doesn't return, because eventually all salivary tumors, if left in place long enough, become cancerous.<P>He had two complete lives going and I didn't have a clue. I thought that to ask for accountability of his time showed a lack of trust and a lack of self-esteem on my part. The OW says I must have been stupid to not know what was going on right under my nose.<P>On D-day he told me he would have gone to his grave with this secret. He says felt he was protecting me. I think that he was protecting himself. Earlier in the A, he had gone to Confession and the priest told him never to see her again, work on restoring his marriage, and to never tell me about it if I didn't suspect. Now he says that he knew that since there was a child he was going to have to tell me and that he was just trying to figure out how. (He had told his parents and one of his sisters. They all kept his secret for him, but hounded the hell out of him to tell me. They are still angry at him for putting them in the middle and he regrets it now.)<P>Anyway that's my Dday story. <P>MJ<BR>

My H came home one day 4 months ago after dropping our son at preschool and flat out told me. He had been putting off telling me <p>[This message has been edited by lsb (edited June 22, 2001).]

I guess you could say that I also have a D-day. Mine is February 24, 2000. His W's is March 2, 2000. MM and I had been seeing each other for many months…although I didn't know he was married. He was stationed in California and there was no visible wife. I had full access to him and he appeared to hide nothing from me. He was due to move to a new duty station and we had been talking a lot about my moving with him. "Things" were getting pretty serious. We were making future plans. He NEVER mentioned a previous or current marriage. It turns out his W was residing in their "home" state and they were separated. On February 24th, he was flying "home" to see his family and, as he put it, "take care of some business". God only knows what he meant by that. Anyway, his flight wasn't leaving until late that night, so I had played hooky from work and we spent a wonderful day together. We spent the evening at my place since I was giving him a ride to the airport. So, while he was taking his shower, just 20 minutes before we were to walk out the door to the airport, I picked up his pants from my bedroom floor….and his wallet fell out. This was really not a big deal as I had seen his wallet before. I knew that he kept his military ID in the see through ID pocket, so I opened it up to look at his ID. This was also not unusual because I was always teasing him about the picture. I just wanted to look at it one more time for a quick chuckle. Well, he also had his checkbook in there…something I had never paid attention to before. The names on the checkbook seemed to leap out me. It had his name AND her name. I knew damn well that the other name was not his sister, but I was in shock. I was desperately trying to think of a reasonable explanation. I felt like the wallet was burning my hands and I just needed to get rid of it. I shoved it back into his pants pocket and ran downstairs. I was in such a panic. I grabbed the phone and called my closest friend. I whispered to her what I had found and told her that I thought he was married, but I was afraid to know the truth. All she did was listen to me ramble on, and then told me I HAD to ask him….no way around it. As soon as she said that, I heard him come out of the shower so I hung up. He came downstairs and carried on like everything was fine and life was so perfect. I felt really awkward and uncomfortable. He tried to hold me and kiss me as we walked to my car, but I was very stiff. I couldn't react. Halfway to the airport, I just blurted it out "Are you married?". He wouldn't answer me. I asked about 4 more times and he still wouldn't answer me. The most he said was "why are you asking me that?". I was silent for the rest of the drive…and so was he. I knew in my heart what the answer was, but I wanted to hear it from his mouth. When we got to the airport, I didn't park the car in the lot. I drove to the curbside to, in essence, kick him to the curb. I asked him one last time if he was married and he straight out told me that he would NOT answer that question. I told him that he just did and stared straight forward while he got his luggage out of the trunk. When he was done, I drove out of there like a bat out of hell. No good-bye's, no nothing. I just left. I wasn't prepared to face the situation, so I ran from him as fast as I could. For several days I struggled with not contacting him to rant and rave about his deception. On March 2nd, his W called me. I'm not sure how she found my number. Maybe it was fate. In any case, she called me on a hunch and started asking me all kinds of questions…which I answered. It was one of the most uncomfortable and shameful moments of my life. I didn't have the strength to refuse her questions. Two days later she called me again and told me that she was going to stay with her H and they would work this out. I had nothing to say. I didn't want a MM. I wanted someone who was free to be with me the way I deserved. I had no intention of trying to hang on. I had cut my losses that night at the airport, or so I had thought. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant.

D-day for me was a usual start to my day. I went on my treadmill to do 4 miles. It's on my outside back patio. I saw H pull in and leave 2 times while I was on it. I thought he forgot something.<P>I took a shower and started laundry. I put a roast in the crock pot. After I peeled potatoes H came in. I ran down stairs to fold laundry. He called down the laundry chute to please come upstairs he had to tell me something.<P>When I came upstairs the look on his face scared me and I told him so. I also asked if his dad died( he just had open heart surgery a few weeks before). He said no just please sit down. I kept saying you're scaring me what's wrong? over and over.<P>"Deb, I was seeing ow" me..""What?" "when?" How long? Why? Oh God no no!!!!!" H "there's more ...she's pregnant." (at this point I thought his next words were "I'm leaving you for her")<P>"Pregnant?" OH God!!!! This hurts sooooooooooo much...!!!!("Flood of tears and rage!!!!!!) As I cried I told him I never wanted to be like my mom and dad but I turned out EXACTLY like them and now I know what my dad must have felt when my mom cheated on him. (no C )!!!!!! That HE was my mom and I was my dad. Then I told him "Just GET OUT!!!!!" and continued crying. I also screamed are you going to birthing classes? "no" Good cuz you wouldn't go w/me and SHE can do it alone too!!!! Then he said he BEGGED her to abort and she said "no". He wishes he never had to have me find out about the biggest mistake in his life. They had been "over" since july. <P>He found out in early sept. and worked on her to end pregnancy. When he knew she wouldn't he told me,,,,Nov. 13, 2000......<P><BR>He took a few things and left saying how sorry he was. He was crying too. He begged me to talk to him..(for over 2 weeks) I found out he had taken most of the things he needed in the weeks before. He stayed rent free below his uncles office in a tiny appt. A mile and 1/2 from our home.<P>He was home before a month and back out in march.<P>Now he's home to stay, The End.<BR>love<BR>Debi<P><P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

After 6 months of things really getting bad between us. I finally was ready to call it quits since, I had tryed one two many times to find out way my h was acting like such an a**. My h told me why somewhat he said he had cheated on me one time with a stranger on a job. The only true part of this was that he had cheated and it was on a job. But it was the girl he had been working with off and on for 3yrs. The signs were all there but for some reason I believed in him to much and didnt realize just how rotten a another female could be. She would call the house to suposely talk to him about work which I question a number of times that why did she need to call but the guys never did. I think she chased him for about the 6 month period when he was acting so crazy until it finally happened . I thought he was into drugs I even accused him of that to. I remember her calling one time and I was on the other phone and when he got on the phone she answered him with yeahhhahhh hows it going just the way she said it I knew I had troble. I could have kicked myself in the but a hundred times for not staying on the phone and listening. I questioned him over and over for at least 3 months after he told me that he cheated. Are you sure your telling me the truth his story just did not make since. He insisted it was not her and no way could there be a pregnacy. Well 6 months after he told me his version, I got a phone call from this girl he used to work with (he had quit that job right after he had told me about the cheating) she said she wanted to know if he wanted anything to do with his son 2 weeks old. My whole world crashed harder then anything I could ever imagine. This was 100 times worse then the first betrayel. I quit my job the next day after her call from the time of that call up until the day I found this site I was a total mess I didnt even want to live. I still cannot believe that he didnt tell me this right from the start and then again if he had I dont think I would have gave it the time that I needed to see that he really meant what he was saying about him wanting me and his family .He even asked me one time why I thought it was her and I told him and he still denied it. After her calling about the child was when he did finally tell me the truth (I think ) he also told me about her std at this time and that he had test done right away to make sure he was o.k. He insisted right up to the day we got the dna test that it wasnt his kid. I think he was hoping that she picked up the std after she had been with him and that it was the other guys kid. After talking to her and some other people that had worked with her she had this long before my dim wit had sex with her. Also she told me her reason for not taking her birth control pills was because of a med reason. Must be her med reason was trying to trap someone elses man. I could never figure out how taking birth control pills could be worse then getting knocked up if you had a med problem. I really dont know if it hadnt been for her getting pregnate if he would have ever told me. I really dont think so and I really dont think we would still be together it seemed to take this happening for us to figure out that we really do want to spend the rest of our lives together. So here we are 2yrs this May and things really are better then they ever have been as far as us. As far I me and the way I see the world it will never be the same again. with love flowerseed

I actually have 3 D-days for myself. You have all read about my H's D-day, but I wasn't the only one in this marriage to be unfaithful. The first D-day was almost 9 years ago. I was pregnant with our older D, about 7 months along. I was cleaning the house, and when I got to our room/bathroom, I found some letters in the garbage that I knew I hadn't thrown there. I got curious, and took them out and read them. This person never actually came out and said anything about the A, but it was screaming out at me from between the lines. She was saying stuff like "I wish you could have been at the wedding to see me. I looked so beautiful!" I honestly can't remember any of the other lines that really bothered me. Well, I placed the letters, there were about 3, all on the bed, took a shower, and locked the bathroom door. H was going to be home soon, and I didn't want him walking in on me until I had confronted him. Sure enough, he was sitting on the bed, the letters neatly stacked in his hand, just looking at the bathroom door. I came right out and asked if he was F$%^*^G her! He looked away and confirmed my suspicions. I told him to call her and tell her that there was to be no more phone calls or letters.<P>I thought things were fine and dandy until we moved from CA to AZ. It was New Years Eve, and we were going to go to visit a friend in CA for the weekend. I went to get the mail, and there was a card that was forwarded from his last duty station to our house. I opened it, and guess who it was from? I asked H about it, and he played dumb and said he didn't know how she got that last address(this was our second move since D-day, and 3 1/2 years later). I let things lie until H went to his next school in FL a week later. I wrote this person, telling her to leave us alone, and some other choice words, especially since her card was obviously from a christian store. I basically asked her how she could act like a christian, yet still have some sort of relationship w/my H. She wrote back telling me that I shouldn't judge if I claimed to be a christian, and that they were "just friends" and that when they had had lunch in WA just a few months ago, that was all that happened! I waited for H to call from FL, and let him have it! I am surprised that we even made it to where we were last year, since when he got back from his school in FL he said that his only concern was the kids during a major fight we had the day he got home. <P>We tried counseling, but it was with his childhood counselor, who was himself divorced and remarried. His reasonings for the divorce, I don't know, but I just have a hard time going to a counselor for marriage counseling who divorced his own wife! Needless to say, it obviously didn't work. I have admitted before that I had an A to "get back" at H. All that did was make me feel guilty, until that letter came. Any way, my 3rd D-day was 11 months ago. After H found out about my A, and before the military police arrived to take our statements, H broke one of those plastic chairs in the side yard. I thought it was out of anger for what I had done, and was sitting out front, crying, thinking I had just ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. Well, a week later, the guilt wouldn't leave him alone! He sat down with me and told all. I won't go into specifics, cause that doesn't matter any more. One funny thing did happen. See, OM did know about the other A that I had, and when I refused to talk to OM, he would threaten to tell H about that A. He actually tried, but didn't have the info quite right. All he said to H was to ask me about ****. He also told another neighbor to tell my H to ask about H's best friend from the last ship he was on, but didn't give her a name. Wrong person, different name. Well, our neighbor, who broke up the fight, had the same name, and would be the absolute last person I would have ever done anything with, so I just let H think that was who OM was talking about. But, when H came clean, so did I.<P>About a week after that was when we found out that I was pregnant. I love Abbi to death, and so does H! I would rather not have done what I did, but don't regret Abbi at all. Luckily, H had a V, and we don't have any other little ones running around.<P>Again, I rambled. <P>Tigger

isb, <BR> Don't move, do not give ow that much power. i also think you said she didn't live around any family and didn't have a career so chances are she would probably just follow you to whereever you moved. Stay and show her that you "won'<BR>

hh<p>[This message has been edited by fizzpop (edited June 15, 2001).]

<BR>I had no clue. My H started acting strange one day, something was on his mind, but he refused to talk about it. About two days later, we were in bed getting ready for sleep and he said he needed to tell me something that was going to change our lives forever. He said he had been going over this conversation in his mind, and he was afraid, he was afraid of my reaction, he even said he was afraid I was going to hit him. I said, what the hel* are you talking about. He was silent. After about a minute it hit me, I said, what is her name? He said, Juli*, and she's pregnant.<P>I asked a few questions,(I didn't hit him) who is she, how do you know her, where does she work, etc...Then I asked him to leave. He slept downstairs that night(I didn't sleep at all) and it's been like pulling teeth ever since to get any information at all. But he was right, this will change our lives forever, I just don't know how yet......

It was September 24, 1998. I had been at the hospital with my father in law all afternoon he ahd to have emergency surgery.<BR>7:24pm I was in the kitchen cooking supper. Both my boys were sitting at the bar talking to me. The phone rang and my oldest answered it and gave the phone to me. A man on the other end told his name was ***** and that he was tired of H making a fool out of me and I should ask him who ******* was and about their 2 year old daughter. I felt like someone had sucked the breath out of me. There was nothing I could say with both of my children sitting there looking at me.<BR>H works nights so I had to wait until 5:00am to ask him. When I did the color just drained from his face and he admitted that it was true.<BR>One of my biggest issues is he kept this secret for 2 years.. I deserved better than being told this by a stranger.<BR>Jtigger

I was 5 1/2 months pregnant and I was getting ready to set a night for fun and lovin' for my Hubby and me...actually I was going to set the atmosphere for a night of talking and possibly more(???). I felt my H was becoming more and more distant in the past few months and since I had finally made a committment to try to convince him I wasn't just "content with my life" and needed him and wanted to tell him all this. I was picking out the nightie and the doorbell rang...<P>The postman came up with a registered letter, I signed for it, it was from the courthouse and he had been in a car accident which the person was going to court for and I opened it up. He always asked me to open his mail antway b/c he traveled and "never had anything to hide"!<P>It was a court order for paternity and child support, and even as I read the papers, I gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking that someone at his job was trying to get back at him. Until I saw a picture of him with someone, who turned out to be her oldest daug(Late teens) taken on a visit. My heart sank as the reality of it all sank in.<P>SHE had his baby, HE really had an affair, SHE had his first son. I lost it , then composed myself and wanted to wait till we got our kids off to bible school to confront him, but he had to make a comment about my mood...then I hit him with it.<P>His reply? I did something really stupid!No s%&#!!!!!<P>I spent the rest of my pregnancy watching my sisters prepare for the birth of OUR first boy...<BR>

Two months prior my D-day,we were in an apt. which collapsed due to termite damage. Very long story. We lost everything! Walked out with a laundry basket of clothes and a few personal items. I was an emotional wreck from that because I was in the apt. when this occurred, but thank God, no one was hurt. My D-day was November 28, 2000. I walked out to my car to go to work and there was an envelope on the windsheild. Typed on the front was "Mrs. *****". That was it. A short typed note was inside. "Ask your husband about a nurse named *****. And ask him how she got pregnant, better yet, since he has been lying to you, ask her" and her # was there.<BR>I didnt know what hyperventilation was like until that moment. I didnt call her; I went straight to his work and confronted him in front of the building. He didnt deny it.<BR>Found out the affair occurred over 6 months prior and he would meet her at her home. He worked nights and worked days at the time. So he would see her after he got off work. He said two months into the affair, he "woke" up and ended it. He found out she was pregnant 3 months after the affair had ended.<BR>We had always said we would never cheat on each other. We had always said that we would leave if we felt that we needed to cheat. His explanation was that he never expected to still be in love with me and cheat. He always thought if he felt the need to cheat it would be because he didnt love me anymore. He said the last few months of our marriage had been the best yet. <BR>Well, that was because I was an emotional wreck and obviously needed him. He said he had been with her because at the time she needed him. Since I have always been an extremely independent, self-sustaining woman, I understood.<BR>I didnt like it,no indeed, but I understood.<BR>The hardest blow of course was the child. We had been to fertility doctors and were told that my H was basically infertile and we would need medical assistance to get pregnant! The OW had also been told that she could not have anymore children and had not been pregnant in over 10 years! Get this...it was originally TWINS!!!!!She lost one baby in the first trimester. It was the miracle baby from hell....but we did the paternity test and its his.<BR>And this is really my life....

July 31, 1998 @10:45pm. He told me. I didn't hardly eat or sleep for days (and I was 8mo pregnant at the time). What Absolute Hell. <P>Thank God that is in the past... what healing we've had since then!!

It was a warm and sunny day. I remember it so clearly. Up until that point, my H and I had been going through so many changes. It seemed like we were finally on the right track. We were spending time together, he seemed to be so appreciative of me. He'd asked me to accompany him to D.C. so he could drop off some of his father's things that had been in storage down here. I agreed to follow him. He drove the rental truck, I drove his Ford pick up truck.<BR>Well, while following behind him, I felt the truck jerk and a loud pop about 2 hours into the ride. I didn't pay it any attention. We stopped for a bite to eat and then proceeded on to DC, with me following behind him. Then it happened, his tire gave out. It was a Firestone....<BR>I was able to drive off the highway and on to a shoulder, but my H kept going. He didn't see what happened, and could not tell from the rear view. The truck he was driving was too big to see behind you. The trailer portion blocked any view from behind. So he continued on his merry little way to D.C.<BR>Well, here I am, on the side of the highway, not an exit in walking distance, in 90+ degree weather. I started franticlly looking for an old cell phone or something to contact my husband in. I couldn't find anything. I search and searched and walla....I found a bulky envelope with woman's writing on the front. <BR>I opened the evelope and found letters.....all the proof I needed to know my husband had ruined my life. I remember those words to this day....July 1 will be a year since the D-day. I finally pulled my senses together and got out of the truck and started walking. A state trooper pulled over, called a towing truck to fix the tire and off I went to the next exit to give my H the tongue lashing of a lifetime.<BR>I called him and immediately confronted him. I know I took him off guard, because for the last couple of hours, he had no clue what had happened to me. The first thing out of my mouth was...are you a daddy?<BR>He asked 'what are you talking about???' that incredulous kind of tone in his voice...which angered me even more that he would lie at such a time. <BR>After a brief nasty conversation, he asked me to stay where I was so he could explain. Needless to say, I got into his truck and came back home. <BR>It's hard to believe that this was a year ago. Just thinking about that makes me feel that strange sensation of betrayal all over again. A toxic combination of disbelief, anguish, maniacal thoughts etc...all rolled into one.<P>We're working on our marriage now. We are truly better off than we've ever been. I still hurt from time to time, and I sometimes wrestle with wanting to slap the taste out of his mouth for putting us in this predicament. But, I know we've made progress, and that gives me hope to continue. <BR>This time next year, if I tell this story again to someone on this board, I hope I've healed to a point to where I vaguely remember the atrocious details...<BR>MM

Ok here are my first two ddays. The first is when i found out ow existed and the second is when the A was confirmed and also PG.<P>First one....my H had left in May 1998 (3 months after our D was born) for AZ because of the army. He was only supposed to be gone 3 months and long story short he was there a year and a half. Me and D stayed at my moms in Tx. In August a friend called adn asked if I was sitting down. he told me that his best friend and a former serious boyfriend (and friend) had an annorism and died. He lived in OK. We were all torn up and I had been close with his family and I decided I was going to go with everyone to the funeral. I tried desperately to get ahold of H (which had become near impossible lately) to tell him I was going. And to make sure it was ok with him. We were all (about 6 of us) gone for about 3 days and when I got home my mom told me H had called several times. He called that night and he asked me if I was allright. I told him I guess as good as could be considering and he asked again if i was ok and i said yes. he seemed to be concerned...then he screamed at me and said "you should have never gone!" I started crying and pleaded "but a friend of mine died" and he says " I dong give a fu*& about your friend!" I was stunned. We started screaming at each other and then says that they (army) are talking about sending him to Korea. He asked if I wanted out. I asked out of what and he says "the marriage". Stun #2. I told him no and he went on with this mumbojumbo of how he couldnt handle the seperation for another year and blah blah blah. I finally asked who she was. He played dumb. I told him not to lie to me and that this was bs. This was not him talking. He had been talking to a woman and I wanted to know who she was. He wouldnt tell me her name. He told me there was someone he had been talking to and he had had the thought and that meant he was a horrible H. he claimed he hadnt acted on it but he knew she felt the same. Actually he swore to God he hadnt doen anything and he would never do it. He would never "degrade" me like that. He had already done the deed..I just didnt know it yet. He then promised he wouldnt go over there anymore. He at first said he couldnt promise that bc he had becoem "attached" to her D. I freaked out screaming "what about our D!"<P>He flew down for 9 days in November. I asked him her name. He wouldnt tell me. I guessed it. Very common name. He actually laughed at this. THought it was funny. Acted all in love with me. Went back to Az. Found out later he had told her we didnt sleep together ...that he slept on the couch. <P>April 1999. I was living with a friend (mom and i cant get along) and we got our income tax direct deposited into the bank. THe plan was to take half and pay some bills and use the other half for D and I to drive up there in Az for Easter. There $ came in and by the hour the amount kept going down. It had gone down my half the next day. I finally got ahold of him to find out what his prob was. He told me he was freakin out and I asked him what could be so bad he had to spend that much $. And did he want to see me and his D. He said he did. THen he said he had something to tell me and i immediately knew he had A. I paniced and asked him to wait until I got there to tell me and he said no he had to tell me now. I said what. He says "Ive been a bad H" I said "I know" he says "Ive been unfaithful" I said "I know" He says "IT gets worse" and i thought OMG how can it get worse....he says "shes preg". That was dday #2.<P>Horrible memories. Wish I could block them out the way he can.<p>[This message has been edited by broken_wings (edited June 22, 2001).]

This was a long term affair 1 year and 8 months of on and off. For a long time I had a feeling there was something wrong in our marriage but didn't want to accept it. He started changing,around April of 99, all of a sudden he was spending more cash, was hidding bank statements, credit cards bills, and had to work almost every other weekend and used to come home late at night from work. I was never able to get in contact with him, cellular phone was always turn off. I had all the facts in front of me, one of my closest friend told me your h is having an affair, he has all the symptoms that my h had. I did ask my h if he was having an affair, but of course he will denied, H used to tell me I will never do that to you are the love of my life, I will never risk our marriage, and our two children security, also used to swear on his brother's grave that he was faithful to me. I wish I had listen to my friend. I guess I was naive and too trusting, never dated before my h. H has been the only man I ever been with. <BR>However his strange behavior was getting worse, he was becoming someone that I did not recognize at all. H became very possesive, extremely jealous, and will come to pick me up at work for lunch,without consulting with me first,will also pick me up from work without calling me first. I decided not to ask my h anymore if he was having an affair, instead I started snooping around, but found nothing. I went away with my children to see my parents, and to drop off my children with them. My children were spending the summer with their grandparents. When I came back, one noisy neighbor that I have told me, It's weird that your h car was not park outside your apartment not one sigle night, while you were visiting your parents. After she told me that I became more suspicious, and I ask myself, where was my h spending those nights, but again did not ask him. I continue the snooping around, but found nothing. DD for me was November 20, 2000. I was helping my daughter with her homework, I turn on the computer I was typing something that she need it for her homework, something made me snoop in my h computer. Well to make the story short, I found a lot emails from ow to h, about their relationship and oc, my name was also mention. I read every single email, ow telling h that she didn't know why she was with him, while he was still with his wife. Another email telling him how good was he in bed and so on... I call my h on the cellular, I told him that I need it to speak to him urgently. H was afraid by the tone of my voice, that refuse to come home right away, so I hung up on him, he called me I told him again that I need it to speak to him, but again refuse to come home, unless I told him over the phone. I told him I couldn't discuss this over the phone, and again I hung up, third time he called, he got me so upset that I told him over the phone, that I had found out about ow & oc, he want it to denied it at first, he had the nerve to ask me are you sure is me, that those emails are referring to. I told him to stop lying to me, and then he hung up. He came home after 3 hours, by then I had taken all his clothes cut them with the scissors, and when he came home I told him that I never wanted to see him again. He was extremely upset for what I did to his clothes, he left that day and stay in Ow house, so I was left alone with my two children. My children know about this mess I started crying and screaming like a maniac when I found out, that I forgot to turn off the coumputer, and they also read those emails. I put my children to sleep, didn't want them to see me in pain. I was crying by myself that night, and even took pills, to ease my pain.<P>Next day he show up at my apartment crying with a bottle of <BR>vodka asking for forgiveness. I threw him out. I called a friend, I explain her about what I found out. My friend made me realize that my h did a mistake, that he loves me or he will have not come home crying and asking for forgiveness. I took my h back, although he said he love me, he was not out of ow & oc fog. The first six months were completely hell. Now that he has finally seen the ow true colors he no longer wants to have contact with her or oc. Ow continues the harrasment, now calling our neighbor since she can no longer get in contact with me and H. My h now hates her. So this is my story.

April 20, 2001. 5 months pregnant. thought and believed I had the perfect marriage. HA! Anonymous phone call gave me the news. The anonymous caller actually had to call 3 times, as I did not believe it. Each time, the caller would give a little more information, until I was able to put a story together and ask my H. When I confronted him he flat out denied it. So that very night I called OW. She was proud to tell me it was true, but swore she didn't know who it was that called me. I had the number traced (caller ID's are great, huh?) - It was from a payphone at a car wash on the other side of town. .. I think it was probably OW calling. I mean who else would want to inflict this type of pain? <BR>I am still trying to recover from the pain and disbelief. Counseling is so/so. We go together for the first time next week. I am very nervous about it. I can't imagine being divorced, pregnant, with 22 month old ....so I am trying to work this out