Well, It was a yr ago that this fiasco took place. Next week will be our 3rd anniversary. I don't feel to great about it. It was really hard to even buy a card. While I was packing, I found old cards H had given me. It reminded me that last year, I bought my own gift-found something I wanted and H told me to buy it-feeling to guilty about it, told h it would be my anniversary present. Of course, when it came to actual day, h didn't even buy me a card. I DREAD this week. I dread tomorrow and fathers day. I hope ow doesn't pull any crap. Today we went to a baby's b-day party and it was ok until someone asked if our son was our only child. My h responded yes with no doubt in his expression or voice. The question just served as a trigger to remind me that oc is in the background with slut of mother lurking around. Well, I've got to go. Please pray that this gets better.<P>ivc

Ivc, I can identify with your anniversary dilemna. Mine is also this week, I do not feel like celebrating it,I get these anniversary cards in mail from family and it makes me feel so sad. I have yet to find one I can give to H-none seems to fit where I am with him. I think I am going to have to write something myself. I really do not know how I feel towards him, sad mostly, and wishing he hadn't done this to change my love for him. I envy you moving 6 hours away from OW and OC-mine is way too close at 5 miles away. I have a real fear she will show up on my door demanding to see H-H keeps saying I don't think she will do that, but I do not agree.That is why I don't feel safe here anymore. Isn't that awful- I have lived here more than 10 years, and this incident has ruined it for me. I don't know what to do. I will pray for you, pray for me. I feel so sad about this all.

IVC and LSB,<P>I know what you mean about this one. Our 19th anniversary is coming up in July. I imagine that summer is anniversary time for many of us. We are going on a family vacation (4 generations) a couple of weeks before our anniversary. I told my family that I don't want to have to open cards and presents in front of everyone and that I would just as soon they ignore our anniversary this year. My mom said "How about a card to your house?" I said "OK, but just a card."<P>I don't know how I am going to feel on our anniversary, the first since Dday. I feel like we are moving quickly toward a full recovery, but how full can it be if I don't want to celebrate it with him? IYou know, I think that there are some things to celbrate. We have come through the worst year of our lives and we are still strong. I still love him and he still loves me. That says a lot. OW is fading into the background and we are getting our old lives back, well, at least something like our old lives. It has taken a lot of work and courage to get this far. Lots of people don't make it this far in these circumstances. Looking at it objectively that seems like good reason to celebrate, but it doesn't feel like it. It feels yucky and awful.<P>Valentine's Day was also hard this year. Why don't they make a card for our situation? It could say something like "Thanks for screwing up our lives and inviting wacko and OC to share our lives for the next 20 years." Whadda ya think? Think I could sell it to Hallmark.<P>MJ

ISB<P>I understand where you're coming from. OW lives probably 5 min or less from house-a disgusting coincidence, but then my life seems to be way to full of those. I'll keep you in my prayers. I finally settled on a joke card for anniversary, usually, I pick sentimental ones. Later I found one that says something about the struggles/rough spot marriages go through. <P>Mrs. Job I'm having same sentiments that you are-both the negative and the positive. I'll also keep you in my prayers.<P>I've got to go otherwise I'll wake the baby. Take care. Hopefully we all will be able to think some positive thoughts as anniveraries approach.<BR>ivc