Since I know you will ban this name today I will just say it all in one post. Number one you have given me credit for many people's posts. I don't deserve that much credit. My "broken english" is not because I am uneducated or an immigrant but because I do not think that an online chatroom is worth that much effort. And to that point I think any of you who have made comments regarding anyone's nationality need to take a look at yourself. It is outright distasteful and ugly to be rude in that manner. <P>Regarding lsb, I am not her OW and am very happy for that fact. However I do know by observation here that she is here and does post. She has made it blatantly clear that lsb's husband still sees his daughter and loves her. She has also made it blantantly clear that she doesn't want him any longer, but that she won't settle for her daughters father not being active in her life. <P>My best advice to lsb is to stop wining and start being active in your marriage. Yes he hurt you, yes he lied, and continues too, but you have forced that by not encouraging honesty. You give him no alternative. If you don't love him and want to work it out then let him go. But if you do love him and want to work it out then realize that he is K's father (just so you know lsb that I do know her I am using her initial). He will always be her father and will always love her. Why try and run and hide from that. You always talk about your shame and moving away. I can understand you wanting to move out of the house, but reality is this child won't just dissapear if you move to anther city. And your husbands infidelity have no shame on you. You should not be shamed by the child. Your husband is the one that bears that responsibility. So you need to stop trying to hide it. In a way that is protecting him. Because he doesn't have to own up to and answer to other people regarding the situation because your protecting him. <P>So my advice in a nutshell is - <BR>1. Decide if you want the marriage.<BR>2. If you don't move on, if you do work towards forgiveness.<BR>3. Stop feeling shame, your husband is the one who should. <BR>4. Stop the secrets don't hide K from your family, his family, or anyone. Let him be responsible for his doings. <BR>5. Stop threatening to run. It just makes the situation worse, you have to deal with it wherever you are.<P>And yes I know that you all will hate me for being so direct but frankly she needs to deal with her situation and move past the anger.<P>

ISBOW,<BR>Whoever you are know one thing. ISB's H will choose his family eventually.<P>His D will find him some day if she wants to, you do not have to give her ultimatums. You are not her H or counslelor.<P>Her H will never choose a C over what God has joined together...never. If he does it may be too late for him and he will miss his nice familiar life w/a great woman he's spent 25 years with. Believe me. It may take time but K is no match for ISB and her family.<P>So go away and do not torment our friend anymore.<P>She's had enough. More than a woman should bear and her H is coming around. After all he is still with his family and not K...right? So what is a few hours compared to breakfast in bed from your kids and loving wife on holidays?<P>I sure wouldn't settle for that.<P>K will grow up regardless of a part time dad. She will be ashamed of it when she's old enough. So just back off and leave him to his family and quit playing on his guilt. You sealed your D's fate when you choose to go ahead and have her with a MARRIED man.<P>Now shoo!!!! Go away!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....