Ok I am 27 my wife is 23 we have been together for 6 years and have 2 wonderful children. I had allot of anger built up from many many problems as a child I also had insecurity issues so i was very controlling I did not want her to go do allot and when we fouf=ght i was mean I said mean things but the honest to gosh truth is i said them when we wre fighting so I honestly did not mean them. She came home a month ago ad told me she wanted a break she couldnt do it anymore she still wears my ring and occasinaly we still sleep in samr bed (opposites sides no touchin) she says she is not in love with me now she hopes she can be in the future but she does not know
i have since started to go to counseling for me to deal my issues to be the mabn she deswerves she is a very special woman but i am physically sick from this i dont know what to do do ou think it is woth trying for?

my wife basically did the same thing except that she divorced me. if you still love her, it is definitely worth sticking it out. it will be a roller coaster ride emotionally. if you do not do everything in your power to try and make it work, can you look at yourself in the mirror and be satisfied?
i am trying to get mine back and it is rough, but i want to be able to look in the mirror and tell myself you gave a 110%. there was nothing else you could do.

ves

"Ok I am 27 my wife is 23 we have been together for 6 years and have 2 wonderful children."

Sounds good up to there.

"I had allot of anger built up from many many problems as a child I also had insecurity issues so i was very controlling I did not want her to go do allot and when we fouf=ght i was mean I said mean things but the honest to gosh truth is i said them when we wre fighting so I honestly did not mean them."

We're all victims of our personal histories. Have you shared these with your wife? If she knows the background she can understand and will find it easier to cope.

We all say things we don't mean when we're angry.

Your grammar and spelling are not too good at this point. Had you had a drink or two when you wrote this? If so I wouldn't blame you. Even the threat of a marriage break-up is a stressful time.

"She came home a month ago ad told me she wanted a break she couldnt do it anymore she still wears my ring and occasinaly we still sleep in samr bed (opposites sides no touchin) she says she is not in love with me now she hopes she can be in the future but she does not know"

Very hopeful indeed. No other man involved? She still believes in the relationship. Apply the principles on this site - they really work.

"i have since started to go to counseling for me to deal my issues to be the mabn she deswerves she is a very special woman but i am physically sick from this i dont know what to do do ou think it is woth trying for? "

Tell us - what are your issues? Sounds like she's there for you if you can deal with them: whatever they are.

Well I'm new to this forum stuff but your message got my attention. I find myself in the same situation, however I am the one not in love....My husband also has said things, lots of things, that he supposedly didn't mean. Speaking from the other side, at this point I would just let her be. Do not loose your temper at this point because that will be all she needs to say "see you later". I've thought about ending it all but also have kids, have invested much time, etc...He can be a very kind person and appears to be attempting to be consistently now. I am hopeful that you really can fall back in love with the same person....I hope it works out for you.

Dear Mr. Task,

Counseling is good. Of course there are a large number of types of couneslors. What does your counselor Say? Ask? Suggest? Require?

In Marriage Builders, saying unkind things is called Love Busters, or Love Withdrawals. The goal suggested by MB is to maximize the deposits of love valued contributions, and minimize withdrawals for your spouse's love bank.

I personally do not type any better than you do, but I do click on the top Pencil and Paper, and edit my posts. Since you are unregistered, you may not be able to edit your post.

I would provide the witness that I have not had my E-mail address disclosed to anyone. Some other MB posters have reported my posts, but I never received a complaint by E-mail. The Moderators have edited at least one of my posts that got reported. It was edited for violent content. The onely E-mail I got was my password.

I recommend you consider a communication course. If you are saying things you do not mean, then you are not controlling your communication. If drinking is a factor, you may wish to address that issue, as many people, including myself, do say things, under the influence, that are later regretted.

Scientology has an excellent Communication Course for $110.00. Dale Carnegie is $1600.00. Dale Carnegie also has less expensive seminars. My wife and I also took Silva Method out of Laredo Texas, $350.00. You and your wife could take a course together.

Parenting courses brought my wife and I closer together. Six Weeks, one evening a week.

I have three massage instruction videos, and I keep meaning to upgrade my skills to Rolfing, Deep Muscle Relaxation. Tell me about your massage skills. Don't worry about scoring, just provide love and comfort.

I personally have found that when my wife is losing interest in the marriage, I just start finding ways to give her more attention, myself. Have you read THE LOVE DIET? Posted under Negotiations, 180n Degree Divorce Busters by TOOMUCHCOFFEEMAN, at the end.

Blessings

Quipper
Husband of 28 years, raised 2 challenging kids, still struggling

<small>[ November 07, 2003, 11:06 AM: Message edited by: Quipper ]</small>

Boy I can relate. My husband recently told me he loves me but is not "in love" with me, that he is not attracted to me, that he does not feel romantic and that we should divorce.

I am still in the shock stage as our marriage seemed fine until the past month when he suddenly started finding everything I did annoying. (He was always calling me honey, telling me he loved me, left flowers on my pillow, next to the bed, etc, making plans for the future)

Now he says he was faking it and just doing those things because I am his wife.

Any advice from someone in the same position is greatly appreciated