Hi all,<P>My H and xOW have never been to court. They decided during the pregnancy to try and do everything to avoid that. They looked up the child support laws in the state in which xOW and OC live and simply figured out the formula.<P>He began paying voluntarily during her pregnancy as she was confined to bed and later a hospital for 3 months. He continued $2,500 a month for 6 months so she could stay home w/ OC. When I found out, I got him to lower it to $1,700 what he would owe under her state's guidelines. (Funny thing is that he must not have told her how much he actually made while employed or it should have been double that. Yeah, big salaries, big house, big careers that take too much time, living the American dream on the surface and a mess underneath.)<P>When they spoke briefly on Father's Day she said that she would take $1,000 until he was back at work. Yeah! <P>He is actively looking for work. First real possibility didn't pan out. Has one more hot lead going and no other prospects going. He tends to drop any small leads when one gets hot and looks as if it will work on. I think he has trouble multi-tasking. <P>MJ

I feel for you. I have no advice and oh so much sympathy. I am just beginning to ride this train that you have been on for some time. <P>I guess I’m one of the lucky ones in that I’ve only been with my SO for six years and we don’t have any children. Unfortunately these OW all seem so vindictive and enjoy spreading the misery of their lives to other people’s as well. The OW had the nerve to THREATEN him yesterday because he admitted that he was not ready to have children and was not looking forward to having to deal with them or her. Supposedly she is independently wealthy does not have to work, yet she does. Oh and get this as a research nurse--apparently she hasn’t read the research on birth control and the use of condoms! My SO makes enough to get by and have some fun, but not enough to support another family. He was shocked when I told him that he could be held responsible and made to pay child support because they carry his DNA, even though he is not planning to be involved. He also had no clue that if we were to ever marry that our combined income could mean that she could ask for more money and that I would be helping to pay to support his OC. <P>Are they all this clueless? <BR>

congrads Mrs. Job! Still, that's double what we have to pay... wow! My hat off to you guys...

Mrs. Job, I am so happy to hear that you have gotten the cs lower, hope the future will hold some good news on employment for your h. Peace, gabi1116