When is this nightmare going to end.<BR>The whore has some nerve, as I mention before my h change his cellular phone number, we also change our home number. My guess is that Ow was searching the white pages and came across with our 2nd floor neighbor's nuber, neighbor has the same last name as my h. Our neighbor left us a note under the door, explaining that some woman name such, (can't say her name in the internet)need it to speak to my h urgently. My h went to our neighbor's apartment, but he wasn't at home, his father told us that he will be home at 10:00pm. We do not know exactly what this whore told him. I am so afraid that our neighbors will find out about this mess. I was so upset that I started screaming at my h blaming him that it was his fault that this crazy bimbo won't give up, since he created this nightmare. <BR>

Take a deep breathe...... remember she is showing her true colors. Don't worry what your neighbors are going to think. Everyone has skeletons in their closet. Just hold your head up high and remember you are the classy one!!!<BR> Kris

Mina,<BR>Please do not worry. Your neighbors do not pay your bills.<P>Ow is truly a wild one. Perhaps a harrassment suit is in order. Document everything!<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Dear Mina,<P>This is called "harrassment by communication" and it is against the law. <P>Have your h send a certified letter (return receipt requested, and make a copy of the letter for your records) to ow that states that any further attempts to contact him in any way (including via neighbors) will be considered harrassment. He should do this from his brother's address, of course. Next, you do the same thing, write and send a letter from your address telling her further contact will not be tolerated. Then, if you haven't already, start and keep a very detailed log of EVERY instance that she attempts to make contact with either one of you. You do NOT have to tolerate this kind of behavior. It IS harassment, and there are laws to protect you from it. But you have to do what it takes to document the harassment before it will hold up in court. Wait until you have written records of several attempts, then simply call the police. Show them your records of contact and the letter stating she should not contact you. Don't just "put up with it" because you think that pursuing charges wouldn't be worth the trouble. If you roll over and take it, it WILL get worse. You need to make a stand. You don't want this kind of thing happening later, when ow gets the bright idea to start contacting your children and family members. Nip it in the bud NOW. In fact, if you already have documentation of this kind of thing, and you have record that you DID tell her to stop contacting you, you should call the police NOW. Not only would it get the ball rolling for you, it would be proof of her harrassment of you that you could show the court at the next hearing.<P>Good luck. sounds like she's the really obsessive type.<P>-cd

By the way, if you have documentation already, you could probably just go ahead and file a restraining order against her. <BR>-cd

Hi ladies, My h spoke to our neighbor, neighbor told my h that this is not the first time she calls. He never told us before because he didn't want to cause trouble between h and I. She always identify herself as my h friend mother son, which I know my neighbor doesn't buy her story. My h and I told our neighbor is she calls to tell her that my h doesn't leave there and to stop calling him. <P>CD,I do have two nasty emails that she sent me, but she also has one nasty email that I sent her, where I called her whore, bit.. and told her it was her fault, if she got pregnant by a married man, since she knew that he was married and still open her legs to him. I also told her that the only involvement her son was going to receive from my h was his weekly child support. I used to have a few nasty messages from her in my answering machine but I erased them, didn't want my children to hear the things she said, how I regret it know. I also have a letter, but in the letter, she's trying to apologize for the pain that she cause me, but it was just a little scheme from this whore, to get to my h. How I wish I could have post sooner to this website, I regret sending her that email, I do not know if it can backfire. This email that I sent her was a few months back, after her second email that she sent me I block her. I also had pictures of her with my h, in her babyshower, and delivery room, but I burn them since it was to painful for me to look at. Should I put that restraining order now, or should I wait for further contact from her. My neighbor does has her number in the caller id.

Dear Mina,<P>I am not one to piss around when it comes to going on the offensive against ow, so you may want to take my advice with a grain of salt. <P>But here is what I would do if I were you, taking all of what you said in consideration:<P>First, I would call the police, just to inform them that there is a problem. At very least, they will be able to tell you if you have enough grounds to get the restraining order. Right now, ow is banking on the idea that you are too embarrassed by the situation to go to the authorities. She thinks that she is above the law. Prove her wrong.<P>If you don't have enough to get the restraining order right now, I would immediately type up two letters - one from you and one from h, stating that henceforth, any contact at all from ow is not welcome. Make xerox copies of both letters. Take the originals down to your post office TODAY. Ask to mail them as certified letters, return receipt and signature required. As soon as you get the signature card back indicating that ow has received these letters, the VERY NEXT TIME she attempts to call, email, write, etc. to you, your h, your friends, family, neighbors, etc. -GET THE RESTRAINING ORDER.<P>If you do it this way, it shouldn't matter that you once wrote her a nasty letter. What will count is that you gave her official notice that any future contact will be viewed as harrassment. Since you can prove that she is aware of your stance, if she continues to make contact, you shouldn't have any problem getting the restraining order.<P>Most importantly, starting NOW (if you haven't already) keep track of EVERYTHING in a written log INCLUDING ow's behaviors in the waiting room at the support hearing. Using simple consice language, write down what she did and said and on what date. This will be invaluable to you later. It may seem like a pain in the butt now, but you'll be glad later you took the time to do it.<P>Hope that helped,<BR>with love,<BR>cd

Dear Mina,<P>Dont have any words of wisdom, just letting you<BR>know that I am sorry you are having such a horrible<BR>time with the OW. Cant understand the nerve of some<BR>people. Best of luck and prayers for you.<BR>Love, fluke

Dear Mina,<P>Well I have 1 suggestion. Take those 'hate' e-mails from her and forward them to her e-mail service provider. So far I was able to get Hotmail to close 2 accounts that OW setup and used to communicate with h. RE: OW used those same accounts to send a phornographic picture of her and H (no faces, just body parts) along with an e-mail with a lot of dirty talk to H. That was the 2nd one. The 1st one was the hotmail account that OW setup for H but OW controlled the password. When I learned of that e-mail address, I sent a message to H (he said it was his address), I sent it to H anonymously as if I was another woman that H had previously 'visited' before OW (he met several on the internet - one nighter stands). Well, OW got ahold of that e-mail before H did, claimed someone was threatening her life and sent a nasty response. 14 days passed before I revealed who actually sent the message. Since it was never intended for OW, I did not claim that I sent the message to OW. Anyway, due to the content of OW's response, the Hotmail abuse line closed her down. <P>Moral the this story: If it looks bad let the service provider close them down. <P>The benefit: Both accounts contained many 'saved' love messages, all lost now. <P>L.

Thank you ladies for your support and advice. <P>As always Dear CD, you are so right. I have let my fear and shame from this situation control me. Ow has taken advantage from my fear and shame. Today, I am going to go my nearest police precinct which is only 15 minutes away from where I live to get a restraining order,if I am not able to get one, I will write her a letter, and send it certified. My next guess is ow will try to come to where I live and cause trouble for me and my children. I have to be one step ahead of her, just in case she shows up, I will have her arrested. I will let you know how it goes when I come back. One more thing that I forgot to tell you she has establish a relation with my mother-in-law, and has been welcome in to her home and keep in contact by phone. My mother-in-law accept oc as her grandson. I no longer speak to my h mom. <BR>Once again Thank you CD for your wonderful advice,<BR>Love mina

Dear Orchid,<P>Your h xow sounds like my h xow totally psychotic. I can't understand how our h end up with women like this no class at all. H xow, is very vulgar too, once she left my h a message on his cellular,telling him that I must give him a really good blow... with those big lips of mine, and if this is the reason why he stay with me. No class at all. Thank you for your advice I did not know that you can email hotmail, and have her account cancel. Ow has hotmail. Thank you dear Orchid.

cdcollins, I am in same position as mina. OW sending cards, emails,etc.a question. In letter asking stop making any contact to H or BS from OW, should you list no contact from OC as well-in our case, though OC is baby, OW sends cards/letters to H from OC, not self.Should we mention that? Can this be done and included in form of harassment?should letter state other than stop all contact, failure to do so will be cause for filing of harassment charges against OW ? please advise-am new to board and will post my story soon,but need answer to this now!

Hi ladies, <P>Sorry I did not post earlier, as I promise CD. I went to my local precinct, spoke to an officer. He told me I can't get an order of protection unless ow,physically hurts me. But I was able to file a complaint against her, for harrasment. I told the officer Ow had an affair with h, as a result H and I are no longer together. However she doesn't believe this, and has taken upon herself to send me letters, pictures of child, has called me harrasing me with very insulting words, and since she no longer can get in contact with me over the phone, she's calling my neighbor trying to get in contact with either h or me. I told the officer that my neighbor was extremely upset with me, asking me how this lady got his number, and why is she asking for H. I gave the officer her address, home number, and cellular number. He told me they will give her a call, and investigate this matter and if she continues this kind of harrasment she will be put in jail.

Hey Mina,<BR>That's terrific!<P>See, it wasn't nearly as painful as you thought it would be, was it? <P>I'm so glad that you took steps to show her she's not free to torment you. I think it will make a big difference in your life.<P>sickwithsadness, <BR>I'm so sorry you find yourself in this kind of mess. My best guess - although I'm not any kind of legal expert -is that you don't have to even mention oc in the letter. Since oc is at such a young age, any court or officer of the law would be able to figure out that it is ow initiating the contact on behalf of oc. Just write that future contact of any kind originating from ow is unwelcome, and that if it continues, you will pursue harassment charges. I know I harp on this, but make certain you record EVERYTHING. You just wouldn't believe how much a written record, even if it is just handwritten dates, times, and short descriptions of what happened, will help you later.<P>When you feel comfortable, feel welcome to post more about your situation. We're all in your shoes, more or less, and would be glad to help you out.<P>with love,<BR>cd