I just don't get why this happened to me, I love him so much & have done everything for him. Yet he chose her and I don't understand why. Our history means nothing to him I suppose. I have been his partner, lover, and best friend and yet that was not enough. Why? Can someone please just tell me why this had to happen to me!<P><BR>------------------<BR>Sad Eyes :-(<p>[This message has been edited by mysadeyes (edited June 24, 2001).]

sadeyes,<BR>I hope you will read up on affairs and come to understand that, even though it hurts like H*ll(!), the A wasn't meant to hurt you;it was some confused acting out of your H's that even he probably doesn't understand! If you could go back and discuss it, you'll find that there were pressures from outside you never even thought of before. <P>~~IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT~~!!!!!! <P>(It's probably not even much about you! My H and I decided if I get any "blame", it's about 5%)<P>Are you getting any counseling, reading any books or articles on this site? Please know it gets better with time and effort. I'm sorry. <P>Prayers,<BR>J <p>[This message has been edited by Jenny (edited June 24, 2001).]

MySadEyes,<P>I have to agree with Jenny. There may have been problems in your marriage and your husband may or may not have some issues that he would like to see addressed, but the fact that he went outside of your marriage to try and solve his problems says a lot more about him than it says about you.<P>I tell my H that he had a hole in his self-esteem big enough to drive another woman through.<P>Hang on. It gets better.<P>MJ

Dear mysadeyes,<BR>Ditto what the others have told you. Are you still w/H?<BR>Do you want the marriage? Does he?<P>This is a terrible thing. You will survive. I wish I could help w/that first pain. I have no advice for the hurt you feel. It's a process. Come here often and we will help you dear one.<P>Love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Dear Sad Eyes,<P>We all go through the "why me" stage, but the truth is as Mrs J and Jenny told you it is not your fault not is it anything that you did. These men are in a fantasy world. Is this the first time you have posted? I am sorry if Imissed anything else..I havent had much time to myself lately.<P>Have you been looking over your past to find what you might have done to justify this hurt? I did that. Before my H I had cheated and had even been the "mistress" (of course not in a marriage and I was a kid...jr high and high school), but still ...ya know...karma or whatever. Then I finally realized just that. I was a kid. God does not hold against me the stupid things I had done. Noone was punishing me. This was something I didnt deserve. I am a good person and a faithful wife. No. It is not my fault. It is theirs. Please remember that.<P>I know it hurts. I think more than anything else that could happen. The betrayal of the one you love and trust more than anyone else in the world is the harshest greif to deal with. Be strong. Read books. Get counseling. Continue to post here. Pray. And we will pray for you.<P>Love<BR>broken_wings