Hello to all;<P> Here's the scenario... Husband and I are in counseling for a month since 10 months of Plan B. We've gone to counsling 4x and had 2 "dates". My husband sees one of our children individually every Wed. PM, takes them all out for ice cream Thurs.PM (and gives my oldest the child support to give to me) and takes them 1/2 a day on Sunday's. At our counseling the counselor said he thought we should try to go out together 1x a week. My husband said that was kind of hard because he lives 40 minutes away and was coming in so frequently to see the children but he'd try. Remember, I'm not taking any active positon in any of this because I feel that this has to come from my husband and he has a lot of issues with me being controling. <P>Anyway the counselor said to him, "Well don't you think your priority now should be to try and solve things with your wife and then you wouldn't need to be taking the kids out the way you are?" My husband agreed but I felt it was somewhat reluctantly (this was about 3 weeks ago).<P>Well he took the kids out yesterday instead of Sunday and told them he'd be around Wednesday to take our youngest daughter out and the next week it would be my 9 year old's turn.<P> I don't know what to make of this. Is this further evidence that he is going to counseling just because he hated being cut off by Plan B but doesn't really want to repair the marriage? I don't know what is in his head but everytime I try to second guess I'm usually wrong. I don't want to make any demands or put any pressure on him. That I feel very strongly about. I guess when we have counseling this Friday, I'll hope the counselor will bring it up (he will) and see what the result is. I wish I knew where we were going with this!!! (I know Terri, Patience patience!!)<P> Anyway he can be so "in the moment" that I could just see him saying that because the kids were there at the moment. I really don't know but I guess I shouldn't try to guess but just see what happens on Friday.<P> Kris<p>[This message has been edited by quakermom321 (edited June 26, 2001).]

What's going with him and the OW? If they are still involved on any level you won't be able to rebuild your marriage according to Harley. I've read a lot of posts here and on other sites where the WS was going to counseling yet continuing the affair so of course counseling was a total waste of time. Have your told your counselor your fear that he is just going to counseling to make things easier for him with the kids? Having your counselor approach him with these issues is the best way to go and hopefully you'll get some answers/<p>[This message has been edited by KalGrl (edited June 26, 2001).]

Well, regarding the OW; they have a friendly relationship,(so he says) they now share a child. They work together and he says it's strange but they are really just friends now. He helps with babysitting if she needs it and she doesn't ask for child support. He's giving me 31% of his income right now. I'm sure she's being nice as pie in hopes that they will hook up but a 20 year old and a 44 year old? I don't know... believe it or not I (mostly) believe him. Then again who the heck knows - huh?<BR> Kris

Quakermom,<P>I think I agree with you on biding your time and waiting til Fri...hey! thats today, isnt it? so what happened??? I guess I wait to hear fromyou before I go off at the blowhole..lol<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>bw