All of you know how hard I struggled with all of this in my life. It's now been close to EIGHT months and I thought I'd let you know how I've been able to love and open my heart again.<P>By the things my H says.....<BR>I love you now more than ever....<BR>I never realized how special you are....<BR>I never realized how much I needed you until I almost lost you....<P>I can't believe I almost lost our home and life together over how STUPID I was...<BR>I am the happiest I've ever been in my life thanks to you...<P>Your body is so beautiful...(then told me how awful ow body was...stretch marks fat etc)I love your new breasts they are beautiful!!!!(they are quite awsome)heh heh<P>Thankyou for loving me...<BR>Thankyou for forgiving me....<BR>Thankyou for accepting oc....I don't think I could...<P>Tells me if after courts if ow doesn't agree to H never talking to her again he will not see baby....just not as important to him as I am...<P>THAT LAST THING IS WHAT I WAITED TO HEAR!!!!!<P>God has provided me with a miracle in healing my marriage. We now put God first. And he sure provides for us!!!<P>Also a huge sense of humor helps. Our friend who started to date our other friend's D called today to say D's mom thinks he's too old for her. H said with a straight face "mrs.ow mom didn't mind our age difference"(17 yrs)...kidding of course as ow mom had no idea....well we all let out a huge laugh over it!!!!<BR>Just wanted to let you all know what helped me.... <BR>Love<BR>Debi <P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Dear Gemini,<P>Reading your post just made me cry, I am very happy for that you and your h are doing great. For me it has been a rollercoater this past 8 months since DD. I feel a little envy. <P>Love mina

Dear Mina,<BR>This post was supposed to help you guys....in other words what would you want H to do to help you past all of the ugliness?<BR>My H did all that I needed and is sticking to his words. And his actions.<P>I just never thought in a million years I'd come to this point w/H ever again.<P>It's not for you to envy but to learn by. And your H to learn by.<P>Prayers to you.<P>Love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

mina29, at 8 mo., I was suicidal. I never reached the place where gemini1 is until recently, 5&1/2 yrs. later. I never thought I would give my H my heart back, but I did. ember

We should start a post about "how long did it take you to heal?" And what did h do to help you?<P>Ember and mina ...what do you think?<P>Love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Dear gemini,<P>Sorry, I didn't post sooner to your reply. I started a new job yesterday, I am working the afternoon shift, and didn't get home until 9:45pm. <P>gemini, I know that you posted this post, to help us learn and heal from this ordeal, when I said I envy you, the reason is because your h has said and done every possible thing to proof how much he regrets causing your pain, and he has also let you know that you are the most important thing in his life,unlike my h says one thing and does another. I also know that I have to do my part in order to heal from this ordeal. CD has given me wonderful advice, which I am following. <P>Gemini, I think your idea to post How long did it take you to heal? is great. I hope by November 2001, which will mark a year of my dd, I will reach that place in my marriage that you and your h are.<P>love mina

Hey Mina we'll wait till then!! Ok? OK! I think it would be interesting too.<P>Good luck on your new job!!!<P>Love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Thank you gemini,<P>Ok, we will wait until November 2001. <P>love mina

Gem, <BR> I think you win the boobie prize for coming so far in such a short time. You really sound good I'm happy for you. Its taken me two years now it truly feels like I'm me again I hope it lasts. with love flowerseed

This is a great thread, Gem.<P>It took me two years to heal. The reason it took me so long is that my husband is mentally ill and is also an alcoholic who has had a helluva time trying to regain his sobriety. Once the meds kicked in, he renewed his relationship with God and with me. Our recovery is similar to yours, Gem...just not as fast! You do hold the all time speed record, Gem.<P>In response to 'envy', I think it is safe to say that we all have felt some envy occasionally here on the forum. But, I beleive it has been more like 'mixed emotions'...kind of watching your mother-in-law drive off a cliff in your new Jaguar. <P>For example, I was delighted that one of our members received their DNA lab report as 'negtive' and were blessedly off the hook for the rest of their lives. But, at the same time, it made me profoundly sad that it wasn't me! <P>We can all be both happy for each other and feel sadness that we are not experiencing a wonderful, positive thing in our lives that is happening for someone else here that we long for ourselves...and who's not to say that Mina will not experience this very same thing you are, Gem, in just a few months?<P>Envy is OK and normal and predicatable under the circumstances as long as we do not begrudge each other one another's victories.<P>I still hate it that I was not one of the people who got negative DNA results...meow...I'm not purr-fect, after all.<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=

OH my goodness!!! Flowerseed and Catnip... erer uh Flowersex and Catnip,<P>You are sooo right!!! July 4th was an awesome pool party with all of our relatives and friends!!!<P>I love H and hs loves me!!!<P>I appreciate all of your kind words... Nov 20001 Mina....<BR>Love you all <BR>too much<P>Debi<P><P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>and who's not to say that Mina will not experience this very same thing you are, Gem, in just a few months?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I forgot to say I agree w/Catnip. I NEVER thought I'd come this far. Heck I was planning a divorce! I just wasn't getting the emotional needs I wanted and desired. Then one day it happened. A miracle of God! Not the way I prayed for things to be but HE answered my prayer of faith.<P>Mina it CAN happen for you, I hope it does.<P>love<BR>Debi<BR><P>------------------<BR>Imagine....