<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Matthew6:14,15:<BR><B>Both of them cheated their families out of enjoying the relationships that should have been cherised; Condit as husband and father, and Levy as daughter to devoted and loving parents and perhaps a future wife of a worthy man.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Or a Worthy Wife to a good man.<P>Catnip =^^=<P>

She was 22 when the affair with Condit started. If our worth as parents was always judged solely on the choices of our children, many of us would fall short. My heart breaks for her parents. The real homewrecker here is Condit. It was his home. Interesting point about POJA and the Clintons. But she always knew about the affairs. I think she was more upset that he was so stupid as to conduct one with a volatile near-child in the white house and thus risk her political future. I wish her well, too. She deserves not to be politcally tied to a man with no moral compass. And, she appears to have succeeded in cutting the tie.<P>JAL

JaLurker,<BR>Are you one of these who thinks ONLY the married person is ALWAYS at fault and no shame to the other adulterous party? Adultery is wrong no matter who does it and may shame be on them both. The only time I feel pity for one adulterous party is if one of them was deceived(regarding existance of a marriage) or blackmailed via the power differential.<P>I'm pretty sure 'our' XOW thought our marriage was just my H's "problem", never mind that she acted as my personal "friend" during the whole affair, visiting my home on a weekly, often daily basis, exchanging childcare, exchanging personal information etc. etc. etc. The depth of deceit and immorality there just FLOORS me. <P>If Chandra Levy was also at their home, met their children, talked with his wife, how DARE she ever think of a future with this man, muchless make a 5 year plan?!?! GROSS! If you want to lay it on Condit sweettalking deceit to her... she'd have to be downright stupid to not have a second thought about his family. <P>I hope she's not dead, but let's not let her off the moral hook entirely.

There are some incredibly sophisticated and knowing young people these days. We've got MTV, Howard Stern, movies with needless, gratuitous sex incorporated for shock value and to sell tickets to young people with raging hormones and no morals and swept up into a disposable society where something of relavance means nothing to them, I can see where Chandra may have used her youth as an excuse to be irresponsible and heartless as only youth can be.<P>Chandra planned and calculated getting Condit from his wife, marriage and family. Condit was a pig on an immense ego trip who has probably done something terribly, terribly more serious than boff Chandra...my bet is she was pregnant and Condit didn't want the Jesse Jackson humiliation. He might have hired a hit, she may have run off to Europe or the Islands and staged this to cause a media sensation to get even with him for not leaving his wife. We may not know for weeks or months or we may never know.<P>Catnip =^^= <p>[This message has been edited by catnip (edited July 12, 2001).]

No, I absolutely do not think that the betrayer is the only one at fault. But, realistically, I do think that when there is a great disparity in power, age, etc. that probaby more responsibility lies with him (Condit) than with her (Levy). Catnip is also correct that young people are in some ways more sophisicated. But, youth is youth, even today, and some things are only learned with age. Referring to the Thomas Capano situation, Anne Marie Fahey came from a very deprived background and was very, very emotionally needy but was also, up until that point, a good, moral person. Capano was much older and more sophisticated and powerful. He knew how to get to her, and he did. Read Anne Rule's book on the case. The same might be true in the Condit situation. It also might not, but I am always suspicious of a much older, powerful man and a much younger woman. Twenty-two is very young, young and foolish enough to believe the lies, to believe that this rich and powerful man actually cares about you and will even give up his career for you. According to the Aunt, he did lead her to believe that they might have a future together. All he had to do was lie (something that probably came easily to him), and he got this gorgeous young girl to do his wash, tidy his apartment when his wife was away, and no doubt provide him with lots of great sex. Now, I have absolutely no sympathy for the stewardess. She was old enough to know better and if she got hurt, she opened herself up for it. She and Condit were on an even playing field; Condit and Levy, I suspect, were not. It is so easy to manipulate a young man or woman, so much more easy than an older, more experienced person.<P>I do think that responsibility of protecting the home belongs to the one whose home it is. I'm not saying that it makes the OP any less immoral, etc. for assailing the home, as Chandra did. It doesn't, not at all. But, the only person who has the real capability to wreck a home is the person whose home it is, the person who was charged with protecting that home, the person whose actions affected that home, and the person who chose to harm that home. The OP's actions with anyone other than the BS would not matter, but the BS's actions with anyone at all do matter to his home and family. I find it very ironic that Condit is now all of the sudden expressing great concern for protecting his family. I suspect his family is just a tool, a matter of convenience and public image, like the women he had affairs with were also matters of convenience. Remember, he supposedly cared so much for Chandra, they were such good friends, but not quite enough to be forthcoming about their relationship when her very life might be at stake if his political capital might be affected. Now that it is convenient for him to do so, he uses his family to protect himself from the consequences of his actions. Chandra might have been an idiot and immoral, probably both, but I suspect this man is a reptile whether he did her in or not.<P>JAL

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by JustAlurker:<BR><B>Twenty-two is very young, young and foolish enough to believe the lies, to believe that this rich and powerful man actually cares about you and will even give up his career for you. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I respectfully disagree. At 18 I was on a flight and sat next to members of the band of a famous rock star.<P>He invited me to the concert, backstage pass and a party in the rock star's penthouse afterwards. It was tempting, but I also knew that that invitation meant I would be having sex that night whether or not I wanted to and that I might even have very little control over with whom or how many. I was on my way to meet my boyfriend and told rock boy I would only come if I could bring my boyfriend along. He said no but I could bring a girlfriend. I said "no." Cooled his jets really quickly.<P>At about the same age I was hit on by a married man, no one famous, but handsome and interesting. Even at that age I knew that I deserved more than any married man could give me. I certainly knew that I deserved better than to be doing his laundry and housecleaning for him!<P>I did, however, have a brief affair with a married man a year or two later. He told me that he was divorced. Not the truth. They were legally separated, but I broke it off immediately when I found out that the divorce was not final. He also gave me VD.<P>I am no saint. I had my share of sexual affairs as a young woman and I have done things I am not proud of. I feel no shame in 3 pre-marital relationships that were based on love. I do regret the ones based on lust, too much of the drink and too much of the disco (oh if my husband only knew what being a good dancer does to me ) I said I was no saint. I am glad I had my wild days in the pre-AIDS period.<P>I think Levy, like Lewinsky knew exactly what they were doing. I think they were drawn to the power like a moth to a flame. Monica even said she was going to DC to earn her presidental knee pads. Don't know if Chandra Levy was that calculating; I hope not. Greatest fault lies with the person who had the marriage vows, but neither pary in an EMR is blameless. <P>It is horrible that Levy even <I>considered</I> giving 5 years of her young life to this slime. If she weren't probably dead, it would almost be laughable that she could speak of having a "monogamous" relationship with a married man. Hello?!? Self-delusion is truly the saddest kind. <P>Am I am crabby cynic tonight or what? I think I should go get some sleep. It is very late and I am very tired.<P>MJ<BR>

JAL,I did read Ann Ruless book on Capano. She is my favorite author.<BR>I don't know enough about Chandra to compare her to Fahey.<P>Fahey DID know Capano was married. She tried to end the relationship but Capano had his own agenda and couldn't take her leaving. <P>Levy knew Condit was married too.<P>In defense of her I will say again she may have thought grandiose thoughts about having a political life with a man with so much power. He of course may have had no intentions of destroying HIS political life over her. If she was pregnant (I think she was) it would not have been in his "plan" and he may have had her done in. A new rumor is a motorcycle gang member did it for Condit!<P>He won his last election w/90% of the votes in a republican area that loved him. He spoke to everyone including these bikers. People from all walks of life were treated the same by him. <BR>A local restaurant owner said he and Mrs. Condit ate there a lot and always seemed like the perfect couple.<P>Everyone however has said Condits wife knew of his affairs as they went on for 20 years!!!!!! Believe that?<P>I listened to a local talk radio station who had on a reporter from Modesto County where he's from. That's where I got the new info.<P>Having said all of this ...No one deserves to die over an affair/pregnancy. I do think she's dead and at the hands of her lover!<P>I pray for all involved in this ugly thing.<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

My take on the whole age vs. affair issue is this: By the time you start dating, if you do not know it's NOT okay to sleep with a married man/woman OR not okay to cheat your boyfriend/husband etc, then you shouldn't start dating. At the age of 22, she SHOULD have known her actions were not acceptable. At Condit's age, he should have known as well. Every person should KNOW. Period. Using age to say "He/She didn't know any better" is an excuse. <P>As Mrs. Job posted, I too was approached, at the same age as Levy and single, by three different married men I worked with. (I was much better looking before affair! ) I never believed the lies, the justification for having relationships with each of these men. It never crossed my mind to do so. As a matter of fact, I looked at these men with new eyes, one of disdain for taking advantage of their wives. It was a big turn off. <P>So age doesn't make the difference. Women older than her believe the same lies too. So what's the reasoning then? If one would believe the lies and have an affair with a married man at the age of 22, one would do so at the age of 30, 40 or whatever. So age doesn't matter, but what matters is your belief system and knowing right from wrong. <P>I will give you that Condit is a dog in all regards. He has cheated on his wife several times, and has disgraced his wife, his children and his family as a whole. Why do they stay? Honestly, that's not the issue. I always wonder why people turn it around to the loyal, faithful wife and question her motives and reasons for staying. She took a vow, she believes in those vows and she's living those vows. <P><B>JALurker,</B> in your previous post, you brought up the fact Levy was told Condit's wife was an invalid. To me, if I was told someone's wife was an invalid and here he was making his moves on me, I would think he was the scum of the earth for taking advantage of not only his wife, but his invalid wife. So it's okay to screw around on someone is incapable of preforming normal things in life? I don't get your idea behind the whole invalid issue. So Levy was told his wife was an invalid and she believed it and STILL had a relationship with him? Sorry, but sleeping with a married man whose wife you know is walking, talking, able to care for herself is one thing, but sleeping with a married man whose wife is possibily unable to care for herself is truly another. All of it is wrong, however, in my eyes one has a higher degree of sickness than the other. <P>None of this takes the blame off of Condit and his bed hopping. He is a reptile, should be cast from his power house office and forced to retire without pension. I certainly don't want my tax dollars to be spent taking care of someone of his caliber. <P>If Chandra Levy IS dead, her death would not be justifiable. Yes, she has little morals and integrity (if any), but if death were a penance for that, our existance would probably be depleted. <P>CoR

Very good points ladies I also have to agree that age has nothing to do with knowing right from wrong. I also had married men trying to come on to me at a very young age 16. I thought of them as pieces of shi* so I dont buy the age thing either. flowerseed

Just want to through in my 2 cents on the age thing. At the time of A my H , me and ow were all 22-23. Young and stupid right. Wrong. THey were. I was away from my H as long as he was away from me. I had no affair and I was hit on. They did not do that. It is not a matter of age, but morals. <BR> Levy put as much value on her morals as Condit did, but I do not believe she should have died (which I think she probably is). Especially knowing Condit probably would have killed to protect his stupid career. He was not trying to protect his wife, not that murder is justified there either.<BR>Now if the wife did it I will have to say it is not right, but I understand.