Though we have had no contact with ow or oc<BR>i cant escape it, the thoughts, the worry, the obsession<BR>does anyone else have this problem???<BR>i dream about them alot<BR>about the baby ive never even seen<BR>does he look like he does in my dreams?<BR>i dreamt i saw them at the store<BR>i dreamt i saw them at a church<BR>in that dream h wanted to see oc and went up to the next pew and got him<BR>i stroked the babys face and told him i knew it wasn't his fault he was innocent then i walked out.....forever<BR>i was done with it<BR>i hate waking up next to h or with his arms around me and have had such a dream about this ow and oc<BR>WHY CANT I GET OVER IT??????

Dear never be same,<P>It takes us all different lengths of time to find<BR>some kind of peace in ourselves. Your dreams are your<BR>way of coming to that peace. I had them too for months.<BR>I would fall asleep and wake up with oc on my mind.<BR>I know how you feel waking up next to H when you feel<BR>so sick about the situation. You have a heart of gold.<BR>Just take one day at a time. HOw long have you known?<P>It's been a year for me. I am just now getting to the<BR>point of enjoying life without the constant worry.<BR>I have never seen oc either, and they live very close<BR>so the fear is always there. Your imagination can be<BR>your worst enemy...try not to let it get the best of you.<BR>How is your marriage now? Do you have children?<P>There are times I feel like I am having a breakdown <BR>because these wild thoughts run around in my head<BR>beyond my control. We have to consciously think of <BR>positive reinforcement-of all the blessed parts of<BR>our lives. Thank God for all the good and the bad may<BR>fade...<P>Your in my prayers at this time. <BR>Love, fluke

Dear Never,<BR>Oh yes I still have dreams! I also dream H leaves for ow and son....won't happen but it must be a subconscious fear.<BR>You are normal. I pray for all of our sweet dreams.<P>Love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Sorry but this probably won't help much because after 5 years I still dream about it and still think about ow/oc alot, that is because it was an ongoing thing off and on for 5 years mostly off but there was a recent time of 5 months where H was experimenting to see if he could see oc without my knowledge, he decided it was not something he was into doing on a permanent basis at which time he told me all but that does not excuse him for what he did, therefore I keep going two steps forward and one backward but hopefully one day I will not think about it anymore

fluke,<BR>it has been a year and a half since i found out he had "went out" with someone while we were separated, pending divorce and she was pregnant (all in the same sentence)<BR>AFTER we had already decided to work it out.<BR>we had legitimate doubts<BR>it has been since march that we have had dna results back.<BR>yes we have children, youngest getting ready to start k-garten <BR>ow lives close too<BR>I HATE THAT<BR>TOO CLOSE <BR>some of her friends are friends of some of our friends<P>some of my friends have seen the baby, just by chance, at the store or whatever.<BR>every time i go somewhere i dread it will be my turn next<BR>in one dream i see them at kmart and he looks like my son, who looks just like h<BR>we have an Indian "dream catcher" above our bed <BR>my little one asks me if it catches the bad dreams in the web like it is supposed to <BR>but it doesn't <BR>

Dear Never be same,<P>I also found out about everything in one horendous sentence.<BR>One minute you think your life is one way and the next<BR>minute you find out you don't know a damn thing.<P>I have the same unsettling feelings about how the oc<BR>looks. My children strongly resemble my H, with his<BR>dark looks. The op has told me that her son looks just<BR>like my H. How nice. We have not had dna since she ran<BR>when I handed her consent papers. She decided that it<BR>wasn't worth it after all. She was willing to take money<BR>but not the test. A twist to our story is that she was<BR>married and continues to raise the child with her H.<P>My oldest just completed K-garten. He has a dream catcher<BR>above his bed, too. We need one the size of a king-size bed!<P>When our youngest was christened, the priest handed me<BR>a bottle of holy water. He said I could use the water<BR>on anything that brought me pain...anywhere there was<BR>ill will. Let me tell you, I used that holy water with<BR>a passion. I feel that has helped me.<P>Let me know if you'd ever like to email back and forth.<BR>I'll post me address if you'd like. <P>Take good care!

Sure we can email if you want <BR>leave your address<BR>WOW wonder if the oc REALLy is your h's if she didn't like the idea of the dna test???<BR>our ow had asked h if he would get a dna test , if he had gotten a test onour son or just accepted him and if his insurance would require a test<BR>all those made me think she wasn't sure (Still dont think she oculd have been she just got lucky) but it was positive<BR>and we had to pay $200 for it

Hi Never be same,<P>Hope all is going well! Take care, fluke<p>[This message has been edited by fluke (edited July 19, 2001).]

Maybe when these dreams come up, what if it could be God's way of hinting to you to say a little prayer for the OC? Perhaps you could pray that OC is loved and wanted and living a fulfilled life? <P>I'm sorry that the dreams are haunting you but I believe it is the enemy's way of tormenting you because your marriage is recovering well, you know, he couldn't destroy it from the outside... Still, you can turn it around to backfire in the enemy's face. He's trying to get you to dread and be afraid or feel guilty about the OC, but if you pray for OC, then the whole bad experience could be a blessing instead because you will be turning a negative experience into a positive one. <P>Just a suggestion?<p>[This message has been edited by BINthereDUNthat (edited July 19, 2001).]

i always wonder about oc and his life <BR>pray, sometimes<BR>know his mom is into drugs <BR>though according to lawyer, nothing we could do about it as far as custody until she gets busted<BR>knwo from hearsay, that she is out partying <BR>where is oc???<BR>not allowed to come see us, though<BR>i hope he is happy <BR>i ask people that have seen him if he is a happy baby<BR>hope he finds a daddy to love him <BR>i think i think and woory about him more thamn H<BR>actually know i do<BR>he doesn't deserve to know the ter5rible circumstances his life came from it may be hard enough on him already<BR>

You sound like more of a loving mom than OCs own mom. Wow. Well one thing I do know and that is prayer changes things. It really does. I believe in prayer and I can tell you some stories that would blow you away because they blew me away! To know that GOD would take the time to bother with me and my concerns just really blows me away!<P>NBS, I just want to encourage you that with someone out there in the world like you, lovingly thinking and praying for that OC, I am sure that God has listened to all your concerns and He will take care of OC and honor your requests.<P>Regardless, when anyone has someone out there praying for them, things happen. Try not to worry. Worry comes to steal away all your faith and hope in God. Treat worry like the plague, along with his relatives: fear, dread, and guilt... Cling to your faith, hope, and joy in knowing that God is a just God. He knows exactly who is innocent and who exactly is guilty and He will reward accordingly.<P>Remember when Hagar(OW) and Ishmael(OC) were sent away from Abraham and Sarah's house for mocking Sarah? Well, eventually Hagar ran out of food and water. So she set her son underneath a bush and went a distance away from him to cry because she knew he was going to die and she didn't want to watch. But do you know what happened next? GOD spoke to Hagar, and instructed her to submit to Sarah's(Ws) wishes, and God promised Hagar that He would take care of Ishmael, and God also showed her where to find some water for the baby. Bottom line: God provided for Hagar and her son Ishmael... Granted, Ishmael was NOT ENTITLED to the same inheritance that Sarah's son Isaac was entitled to, but nevertheless, God provided.<P>Please know that I'm out here praying for your situation.

I had a dream last nigth that i found a paper in my h files addressed to a lawyer or insurance agent stating that he has 4 children three of which where the result of him being unfaithful..wow i woke up sweating..i dont even know if there is a oc but highly suspect it..is this God way of saying..search harder the answers are there..i think by the grace of god through people i found this place