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Today I feel sad and depress for what my h did, getting OW pregnant, and if that it's not enough he had to get her pregnant the same month we conceive our two children. OC is one year old today. I have never mention in this forum,I that my two children have the same birthday, exactly one year apart not plan at all. This Sunday is their birthday, my son will be 11 and my daughter will be 10. I feel the joy of looking forward to celebrate my children birthday has been stolen from me, since oc birthday is so close to my own children and it's a constant reminder. It makes wonder if ow plan which month to get pregnant.<BR>
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Joined: Mar 1999
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mina,<BR>I'm so sorry for your pain. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif) Congradulations on your precious kids' birthdays! I hope you can eventually forget OC's bday; the first year is the worst. I forget if you are a contact or no contact family. 'Our' OC's birthday is 5 days from my daughter's and same year--ugly ugly. I do not know if XOW planned it or not... interesting way to help finance the divorce she wanted. There is nothing I can do about her life choices, but I can work on my own. Together we (MBers) can help each other get beyond these bad days. <P>Angels sent your way,<BR>J, almost 3yrs of recovery ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif)
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Joined: Apr 2001
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I know how you feel, every year for the rest of my life I will always be reminded of the affair the oc and i have the exact same birthday!
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Joined: Nov 2000
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Geeze jenny and whatif?,<BR>Oc's birthday is a few days from my Mom's and Dad's. 1yr. next yr.<P>I don't know...we will never forget cuz of the baby.<P>Maybe God has his reasons.<P>Maybe HE doesn't want us to hurt anymore but be reminded of having H in our lives full time. While ow/oc gets a few if any hours!!!!<P>What do ya think?<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....
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Joined: May 2001
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Thakyou Jenny, and Whatif, for responding to my post.<P>Today is one of those bad days, that I have to be reminded that my H had an affair that produce child who's birthday is so close to our children birthday. <BR>I have been feeling depress all day, one of those bad days. I hope I will be able to put aside this feeling, to enjoy my children's birthday, so far I have not plan anything for them. I know my children shouldn't be deprive of a birthday party, it's not their fault, but this year I am not in the mood.<P>Jenny,<BR>We do not have contact with oc, I can't accept oc in our lives, and I will never be able to.<P>whatif,<BR>I am sorry, to hear that oc has the exact same birthday as you, it's a constant reminder. <BR>
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Dear gemini, <P>I do not know about that, today I have been very depress. When my h told me about oc birthdate I was extremely upset since oc birthdate is so close to my children. I pray to God these feeling will go away. <P>love mina
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mina, <BR>how about, instead of a party, having a great Family Outing together?! You and H could take the kids to someplace special over the weekend, like an amusement park or zoo or whatever it is you all like... make as many happy memories as you can and as possible try not to let XOW destroy any more of your life and happiness you each have TOGETHER. As Gem pointed out, we have our Hs in our families... and they do not!
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Dear Mina,<P>I'm so sorry for the profound sadness you feel.<BR>It is incredibly hard to pull yourself out of it,<BR>but do try to do something special for yourself and<BR>your precious children this weekend. So your two were<BR>born exactly one year apart? That's really something!<BR>My two little ones are 13 mos apart...we call them<BR>Polish Twins! <P>You are in my thoughts and prayers today and everyday.<BR>I like Jenny's idea of going to an amusement park for<BR>the day...I'm sure the kids would love that! And you'll <BR>be sooo busy that you wont have much time to think about<BR>sad things. <BR>Hope today is a better day for you! Love, fluke
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Mina I like Jenny's idea a lot! Start new memories. It's a great idea!<BR>I am so sorry you are feeling depressed. I will pray for your peace of mind.<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....
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mina,<BR> I to remember last year when oc was about to turn 1yr old how hard it was. Jenny has a great idea the more good memories you can add to your life the better. Everyone here helped me get through that day. Do something special with your kids on that day. Me and my little girl went shopping and I got her a new coat for winter, she was so thrilled and just loved that blue coat. Hope you can find something to help ease the pain the first one is the hardest one to get through. Thats neet the children were born on the same day. with love flowerseed
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Thank you ladies, for your wonderful advice.<BR>You are so right Jenny, is time to make new memories. I can't let ow destroy my life anymore. I will follow your advice, most likely I will take my children to an amusement park, since I am in no mood for a party. Wonderful idea Jenny.<P>Thank you, ladies you are great.
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Joined: Dec 2000
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Hi Mina,<P>Sounds like you got some great advice here. I love the idea of taking the kids some place fun and something that means no extra work for you. Replace bad memories with good ones.<P>Every time we let the ex-OW ruin our day, we give her another piece of our lives that she has no right to. Mine has taken enough from me. I will try not to give her any more.<P>MJ
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Dear Mina,<P>All I can say is I'm so sorry for the pain you are in. I don't know if your husband is still with you, but I hope so. The OC really needs your prayers because that child did not ask to be born into this unfortunate, shameful situation. A lot of pain was created for this child's entire life for which he/she has no say. Perhaps if you said a little prayer for that kid, it might help to take your mind off of things a bit and your kids' celebration won't be tainted. Your kids were not products of affairs so to me, they have more dignity than the OC will ever have when it comes to knowing their roots.
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