<p>[ June 26, 2002: Message edited by: Tina71 ]</p>

Tina I really haven't thought about it but if were a mutual friend or aquaintance (someone we don't know well) I think we'd say the truth just as I'd tell my close friends.<BR>What could they say? Sorry I asked?<BR>If H answered he'd have to say my son nothing more. If they asked when I had the baby I'll just say I didn't and won't answer anything else.<BR>How's that?<BR>Tongues will wag no matter what sweetie.<P>I simply don't sweat the small stuff anymore.<P>After they figure it out I hope anyone would say "Wow,I'd never do that"<P>Hmmmmm....we'll see won't we? No one KNOWS WHAT they'd do!!!<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

I believe that standard visitation is usually one night a week, unless child is in scholl and sometimes even then, and every other weekend but for that to happen i assume you would have to be involved the ws and oc couldn't really do it otherwise. i am sure every state is different.

Tina,<P>I like the topic of how you would introduce OC. H and I have talked about this but haven't reached a conclusion. Since OC lives 2000 miles away and is only 1-year-old we won't have to figure this out until OC is old enough to come stay with us.<P>My biggest concern is what we will say in church. (My poor adelpated H thought we could just say OC is a niece. Can you think of anything more damaging to say in front of a child than to deny that you are her father?) I think we might say "This is Jessica, she is visiting us." Let them go figure out what that means. 'Course if she says something like "Dad can we go home now?" we are sunk, but I will do my best not to worry about what others think. I also think that saying "This is Mr. Job's daughter, Jessica." is also a legit response, requires a lot of bravery, but I like being known as a brave woman. It puts me in a very favorable position in H's eyes when he compares me to OW.<P>MJ<P>

Mrs. Job,<BR>I don't think I am as brave as you. But I do like the idea of saying "this is Janie, she is spending the day with us". I guess there would be no need of explaining further would there? Thanks for idea. <BR>Gem, <BR>I still have not even told my close friends of the situation, only 1 lawyer and two counselors, and a hand full of H relatives know. Like someone said earlier, that they would feel that their friends would obviously look differently at H,(loss of respect, integrity..) and question my reasons for trying to work on marriage<BR>Lets face it I am a wuss!!<BR>Tina