I couldn't find the post about what the non-biological parent would prefer to be called. I for one do not like the term 'step parent' in this situation. No 'steps' were taken to legitimately end or begin a relationship that would facilitate a child being born in a valid relationship.<BR>I won't allow her mother or my H or anyone else refer to me in a manner that lends validity to an invalid, illegitimate, immoral encouunter between two fallen adults.<BR>Now....let's see, how about God mother? I know most children have God parents, but what better example of Godly love? We, who've decided to take in these children regardless of their biological parents actions, and love them without reservations show the agape love God shows us everyday. Yeah....God mother. I like that.<BR>

Wow Matthew that is a compelling arguement! I hadn't thought much about it one way or the other. Thanks for sharing

Matthew, <BR> Good point I like that God mother. Even though I'll never be anything to the oc other then the wife of the guy my mom screwed and made me.The step parent thing rubs me the wrong way also. with love flowerseed

Matthew, <BR>That is the exact thing I said to the counselor and my husband about a "title" I suggested to them I be a God Mother, then I feel that when I decide to venture out into public and am asked the question of "who is this child" I would feel comfortable and save face in saying that I was her Godparent. Done deal no more questions. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to appeal to H. Maybe I will bring up the subject again next week in our counselling session.<BR>Tina

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Matthew6:14,15:<BR><B>I couldn't find the post about what the non-biological parent would prefer to be called. I for one do not like the term 'step parent' in this situation. No 'steps' were taken to legitimately end or begin a relationship that would facilitate a child being born in a valid relationship.<BR>I won't allow her mother or my H or anyone else refer to me in a manner that lends validity to an invalid, illegitimate, immoral encouunter between two fallen adults.<BR>Now....let's see, how about God mother? I know most children have God parents, but what better example of Godly love? We, who've decided to take in these children regardless of their biological parents actions, and love them without reservations show the agape love God shows us everyday. Yeah....God mother. I like that.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I am happy to see this question. And not only this, but we're wondering what the child should call my H. The paternity test isnt done yet, the child is due any day, but he feels he is the father. She moved to another state, and is living with her H and their 2 kids. I'm guessing she will want OC to call her H "daddy" like the boys. We were thinking, in my H's cards and letters (& eventual phone calls) to the OC he would refer to to himself as Pop, or Papa or something, and I would refer to myself with some "cutsie" kind of name. Actually I was thinking of "Lolly" to go with "Pop". I thought a child would think this cute and easy to remember. And I felt it would not offend the OW. My H wants to be a part of OC's life and I think neutrality with OW will make this easier for all of us. What have other of you come up with?

Hey!!!! I, too, was struggling with the "what should we call each other blues. I am not at all comfortable introducing my husband's child as MY daughter. At the same time, I don't wish to volunteer anything by saying that she is "his" daughter. THANKS!

Matthew,<BR> When we first started contact i thought about being a "godmom" but the oc was babtised and has a "godmom" and"godfather" that dote on the oc. They are always sending her cards and gifts and sgirts that say from your godparents and since my children also have godparents i did not want there to be any confusion for any of the <BR>kids as to what a godparent is(is our eyes andour cburch I am sure it is different for others) It is also a decision I wrestled with for a while as to who was going to be godparents to mykids and i did not want to insult them by naming myself godmom the oc all ready has a godmom. I just say i am stepmom. There is NOOOOOO shame in it as a matter of fact i holdmy head up high anytime i have to say it there are almost as many kids who have stepparents as they do parents so most people don't even think about it even though the oc and my youngestare 6 months apart.<P>

OK along the same lines, this is the senerio, Parents divorced, Father is getting re married, to the woman he had an affair with. All parents have moved on, but this is the kicker. Fathers soon to be wife has a GREAT realationship with our children, she is kind and wonderful with them. Spends time with them. I told them of the upcoming wedding and they said YEAH, We will have a Grammy. they have one ( my mom) and if they call the new wife Grammy, it will hurt my mom. Any ideas of names I can gently suggest to my kids for their new step grandmother?? You need to know that we all really do love this woman, she is perfect for my dad, but calling her Grammy is not an option out of respect for my mother.<BR>Allie

my grandchildren call me gramma. They call their other grandmother nanna. Perhaps you could ask her if she would mind the title nanna, out of respect for your you. ember