Hey everyone! Its been a while, but I'm back, and just in the nick of time! When I returned from my trip to Europe, my H confessed(after many questions and suspisions) that he had met with OW......besides being angry and hurt, I feel like its starting all over again...the next day we went to counseling session and the therapist brought to his attention that he still has feelings for her.....another slap in the face......then last night he admits to me that he was still sleeping with her after they found out she was pregnant.......he has been telling me since dday that he wasn't sleeping with her only talking to her about what to do about OC..........he doesn't understand why I want to leave and move on with my life; says he's just trying to do what I need which is be honest with me.....what else is there to know?????Then last night after I explode about that he brings up something from my past that happened before we were married when we were dating not exclusively, anyway, I wasn't completely honest with him and now he wants to throw that back in my face like comparing apples to oranges or that its just as bad as what he's done....I can't take much more of this; should I have to???Please help me. Thanks in advance for your responses.

Hi there,<P>Sorry this has happened to you. I know exactly what you are feeling. My H did the same to me. I found out so much stuff over a yr time period. He seemed to think that he would hurt me less by telling meas little as possible. What he didnt realize is just when I started to heal again and I would find out something different it was like he ripped the scab off and it was just hurt on top of hurt on top of hurt and he kept doing it!! Mine went back to her after he told me also. I had to find this out from her. Most all the truths I eventually found out was from her and then I would confront him and he would admit. I just could not understand why he would not lay it out on the line. Hadnt he already done the worst thing possible? He cheated on me and on top of that he got the hussy pregnant. What could be worse, besides maybe bringing home a disease. I do not know why they do not get it. Ill tell you this though, I think it makes it a lot harder to trust them again. I still wonder what the truth is about the A. And it tore me up for along time. I have finally gotten to the point where it really doesnt matter to me anymore what the "truth" is, it just hinders the rebuilding of trust thing bc he lied and lied adn lied some more...and what is more is that he was GOOD at it. That is what scares me.<P>As far as should you stay or should you go....well only you know that. I stayed. It is working all in all pretty well for us now. I do know I would not have made it with out the help of God every single step of the way. Girl, I have never prayed so much in my life. Isnt it funny how we run to God when things are so bad...and look at me now......generally satisfied with the bedside prayer. maybe I need to reevaluate myself. <P>Anyways, you and yours will be included in my bedside prayer tonight. {{HuGGS}} I know how bad it hurts. I am so sorry.<P>Love<BR>bw

Broken Wings,<BR>Thanks so much for your kind words and hug. I really needed it. This process is so screwed up, isn't it? I told H that what I needed from is is for him to be honest with me, and he says that I can't handle the truth so he's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. This is just so frustrating. I promise to keep posting and reading and talking to others...that's the only way I'm surviving right now. I am so grateful to all you ladies who are here. You give me hope. Thanks again! Have a great day!

What is it that they think we can not handle? The fact that they had an affair or the fact that they were extra irresponsible and had a child? Which is it? Other than that I dont get it...they rest is just details. Why is it that we could not handle the details? In my H's case the details actually were pretty bad, but to me the details were kinda psychotic which is what made it bad. He had gone to Tombstone with the hussy and had one of those old time pics taken of them two. Later I found out (from her) about this. Well, we had done the same thing, H and I. She described the frame he bought and everything and it was the same frame. It was a barbed wire frame, so it was kinda an unusual frame. I found out he had basically lived with her. ( we were seperated due to the army)<P>And later down the line, what pisses me off isnt the details it is the lies and more lies. Counseling helped. Are you doing that? At least for you?<P>Love and Prayers<BR>bw

mbm626 welcome back!<BR> I dont think it has anything to do with what we can handle. I think it is more to do with what they can handle and admit to. I think its there guilt and discust with themselves that the h seems to want to push it under the rug and denie and lie. Mine did that alot until he was found out on alot of things. The lies are what made me the maddest it took me quit sometime to even begain to believe in my h. The lies make it so much harder. I had to see things with my own eyes still do before I can believe half of what mine says. Maybe someday<BR> with love flowerseed

I applaud you ladies..I mean i REALLY applaud you! for your strenght under these circumstances..you deserve a medal!..i dont know how i will handel it when i get the absolute truth