I was just wondering something, many of us have said that we wished the ow would get married have the new man adopt oc and let our hubby's off the hook. I was just wondering if anyone believes this will ever happen? In our case it won't because we she has a daddy, my hubby but that is a seperate thing. I ask because my ow was "honest" enough to tell us that she would NEVER let another man adopt , this was before we got involved, she said and i quote "I can get married and the man can be daddy to my child in every way, loving the oc, helping raise my oc can call him dad if they wanted too and your hubby would still have to pay support so why would i do that? My child can still have a "dad" in her life and benefit from the cs that they get from the mm, it's up to mm if he would wants more than a financial relationship." That is part of the reason we got involved because i knew it was NEVER going away and for me I couldn't respect hubby if he didn't. I am in NOOOOOOOOOO way saying run out and be involved, i am just stating my story but i was wondering if any of you have spoken to ow about her someday allowing another man to adopt and what their response was?

In our case ow would have no reason to allow another man to adopt. Her H or boyfriend or whatever could play daddy because my H is not involved with oc and she would still receive her monthly welfare check from H. She, as usual, would have the best of both worlds.<BR>Jtigger

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jtigger:<BR><B>In our case ow would have no reason to allow another man to adopt. Her H or boyfriend or whatever could play daddy because my H is not involved with oc and she would still receive her monthly welfare check from H. She, as usual, would have the best of both worlds.<BR>Jtigger</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR> <BR> That was sort of what i was geting at, either way thw ow would get the best of both worlds so does anyone honestly think the ow would let new man adopt?<P>

whatif,<BR>We haven't actually spoken to XOW but we both knew her well bfore DDay. We think it is possible that our XOW could find a husband willing to adopt OC (she is an adopted child born out of wedlock herself!), and unless H thinks stepdad is a danger to OC, H says he would accept an adoption. We would be relieved of the financial responsibility and OC could have someone to REALLY act as her dad. We will always be long distance(!) and will be open to OC visiting if she feels the need, whether adopted or not--medical info, whatever. Given the distance, it cannot possibly be frequent contact. <P>Anyway, some stepdads may chose not to adopt OC because they don't want to give up the cash cow, or like BinThereDunthat, maybe they give the OC the choice and the kid doesn't want to be adopted (never thought of it before her example). Every situation is different.

I wish she would but I doubt it seriously. That would ruin her ploy. She has another fatherless child and she used the situation to extract sympathy from my H and eventually from me (at one point in time). So I can only pray one day she will actually consider her kids before her little manipulative schemes.