Hey folks---<P>I'd encourage all of you to re-read the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/Ultimate.cgi?action=agree" TARGET=_blank>Rules and Policies</A> concerning posting on this board. <P>One thing that has troubled me greatly over the last month or so is that several posters, on several forums, have been accused of being "frauds". I have no doubt that we occasionally get a fraudulent poster, and this forum has certainly seen more than it's share of "attackers". However, I would encourage you all to give the poster the benefit of the doubt. In bonniebb's case, she came in like a malicious OW with OC---and I realize that all of us have been sensitized to that (me too, I called her a troll). However, she actually may be in the situation she claims she's in. If she is---imagine how she feels being called a liar and fraud.<P>I would suggest the following:<P>1. If you think the poster is yanking "our" chain, simply don't post to them. Don't discuss your suspicions on the board---they could be very damaging should this person really be in need.<P>2. If the poster is malicious, please just report it to our moderators, and leave the posts alone.<P>Folks---I don't mind wasting my time posting to an occasional fraud. One reason is that lots of people read the boards and take the advice without ever "delurking". As I've mentioned, I've seen at least 6 cases of people being called "frauds" or "liars" on the boards in the last month. That has never happened in my three years here. I'd like to see an end to it.<P>Thanks.<P>

K<P>I agree, however, this bonniebb is not respectful to the people suffering on this site and is reckless about what she says. She needs to have it drilled into her that this is MARRIAGE BUILDERS, not marraige destruct-o, or she should leave here and find a militant group of BS's and OW's to garner the support she wants, cuz she ain't changing anyone's mind here...in fact, she has probably deepened everyone's resolve...you know, reverse psychology.<P>I will heed your advice, K. Thanks<P>Catnip =^^=

catnip:<P>I agree that Bonniebb came in way too harsh (she got me to call her "troll"). But at this point, I see more "oldtimers" doing the same to her. And regardless of what "side" were on, that behavior is inappropriate---it's not the MB way.<P>God bless---how are the northwoods? Mosiquitos are my favorite bird in that area (other than the piliated)! Doing any canoing in the Boundrary Waters???<P>

I have no objection to differences of opinion, and I am always up to a lively discussion - but I do object to somebody making comments intentionally designed to hurt people who are already suffering. What purpose would one have to repetitively write "sticking his penis into her vagina" and similar graphic hurtful terms, which bonniebb has done MANY times thus far, unless it is to injure a betrayed spouse? Bonniebb is going way beyond reckless. And she has not merely offered an opinion, she has maliciously attacked different members several times without provocation.<P>However, K, I will continue to play nice, just for you <P>-cd

I agree with you 100%, K. I feel that we have been shown the great chance that this latest person is here to cause friction, but I have decided to no longer post to her threads, or any of her responses. She has continually confused my situation. I have, twice, tried to correct her, and asked for verification/proof that she is here for help, or to help. I do not feel that she had come here for any of that, because she was constantly trying to force her opinion as the correct one for everyone. It just really makes me angry when someone comes and almost imediately attacks those who are in pain for their decision to work on the marriage first, then worry about whether to have visitation or not. I still believe that this board is for those who want to work on their marriage first, then deal with the OC. I was personally offended when she told me that I didn't know what the problems in my marriage were, when she didn't even know what my situation was! But, again, I will refrain from posting to her, as I do not feel that I could help her, or she help me, in any way.<P>Tigger

K,<P>Since it was I who placed the links in my post to bonniebb concerning past history, I feel compelled to answer your post. Although I <I>strongly</I> believe what I stated in that post, I can sincerely appreciate your views and will respect the rules of the MB site. <P>Take care,<BR>CoR<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Couple_of_Reasons (edited July 31, 2001).]

K...thanks for asking! The mosquitoes are atrocious and are like little sharks with wings...and how they love me. If nothing else, I will go to my grave knowing I attract mosquitoes and alcoholics with mental disorders...hahahaha<P>The northwoods are stunningly beautiful but my journey to work is nearly 40 minutes on isolated highways. And the spiders and bugs! Ugh. Everywhere. <P>I used to suffer from panic attacks and anxiety, as a result, I couldn't be in either wide, open, isolate places or crowded freeways or department stores, so I would drive side streets and grocery shop at midnite for six years.<P>Incredibly, in spite of going through the worst possible thing ever imaginable in my life over the past three years, I am not having panic attacks! What stuns me is that panic disorder is borne out of the feeling of having no control in one's life. If ever I lacked control in my life, it is now. Hah!...yet the demons stay away from me. Must be they know they can't get me with all this amazing strength I have received from God and from Marriage Builders.<P>I have a new update that I will be posting soon.<P>And cdcollins...the graphic depiction that BBB is so fond of using so often is used with the intent to hurt and inspire images that can be conjured up in our minds...hurtful images that have completely reduced me to tears on many occasions....while I felt my heart breaking all over again.<P>It is so very cruel, cold and so very calculating ...not to mention insensitive and evil. She hurt me; hope that made her day.<P>Catnip =^^=<P>