Please keep Mr. Job and me in your prayers. He came back from his trip and has been in a *rotten* mood since he got back. His language is "salty." He is full of disrespectful judgments and angry outburts.<P>There was a time in our marriage where my love felt deep enough to cover a rotten week like this. Now my love feels so streched thin to cover unemployment, his massive depression, the A, the OC, loss of our adoption, etc. that a week like this really has me in a full state of withdrawal. I have never had a real temper or a real sharp tongue until the past year. Now I have both and I don't like it. When we would have a bad spell in the past, I was able to turn us around and I knew that by acting loving the feelings would return. I have fewer resources to deal with his problems. No <BR>instead of trying to cajole him out of a miserable mood I want to snap "After all I have put up with over the past year, I am expected to put up with your miserable mood too? I'm mad as hell and I don't want to take it anymore."<BR>That doesn't serve either one of us.<P>Do other husbands on this board swear at their wives and have a real shortage of patience? He isn't always like this, but he is right now. <P>MJ

Dearest Mrs. J,<P>I will definately pray for you and Mr. J! I can just imagine the stress that you are both going through! Could his "bad mood" have anything to do with his unemployment, loss of the adoption, and the guilt of the A/OC issues? Was his latest trip for job interviews? I don't remember if you had mentioned the trip and the reason for it. I've been a little self absorbed the past week and a half. Dealing with the major stuff like getting the paperwork for getting the house sold, and extra bills that weren't expected, on my own. H is in CA, and can't do a whole lot from there. So, I can understand your frustration with feeling like it is all dumped on you.(and if you read this, honey, I don't blame you, so don't feel guilty about it ) Just keep your head up, and if you have to, force yourself to show the love that you know you have for Mr. J. I can't remember who the advice was given to, but it worked for someone else a few months ago. A person can only be angry for so long, when the other person continues to have a good and loving attitude. Isn't that what Plan A is all about?<P>Ok, enough from the Tigger for now I will pray for you and Mr. J.<P>Love,<P>Tigger

Excellent post, Mrs. Job...<P>My husband and I are having the same kind of week you are, oddly enough.<P>I find my deepest resentment is how much my personality has changed over the past three years. By nature I am not a complainer or *****y, but last week's antics turned me into a snarling bytch. My tolerance is so low now, that I find it extremely difficult to absorb my husband's petulance and blow it off...because, like you, I feel "after all he has put me through..."<P>I could go on with a litany of some incredibly destructive and reckless things he has done over the past couple weeks that have sabotaged our 'hideout' situation, making me feel very unsafe because he is so distraught over how his life is now because of what has happened. I apologize for the run on sentencing here but it is very frustrating, and frankly, I am tired of his reaction and actions in certain situations. I guess I expect him to be grateful for what we have and to focus on the here and now and what needs to be done to repair the damage to our lives...I'm not carrying on like he is and I am in this with him and going through the same angst du jour. It really annoys me and I feel very intolerant of the behavior. I want to tell him to piss up a rope.<P>So, there you have it. I know what you mean, Jelly bean.<P>Catnip =^^=

[QUOTE]<BR>Do other husbands on this board swear at their wives and have a real shortage of patience<BR>Mrs. Job, I don't. But you know what that got me!lol!<BR>I assume yours is a made up name. I feel as if I am Job! Can it get any worse? What is worse? My cross or yours? Or shouldn't we say (when we can) Yes Lord, what next? <P>

Dear Mrs.Job,<BR>Sorry you're having a bad week. Something is hurting your hubby. Have you ever heard that anger is undealt with hurt?<P>He should not be verbally abusing you like that, there is no excuse for that sort of behavior, regardless. He is having a difficult time probably because of his job situation.<P>When God created Adam, God gave Adam a job--tend the garden, name all the animals, have dominion. When God made Eve, God made Eve for the man. Men get their self-worth from their jobs and women get self-worth from relationships. It sort of makes sense that a man is depressed when his job situation is under attack.<P>The only solution right now is prayer. Prayer changes things. If we let God deal with us and help us keep a right attitude before Him, then He will take care of those around us, regardless of who it is. When a wife's ways please the Lord, the Lord makes even her enemies to be at peace with her (BtDts paraphrased version). <P>How much more will God restore peace to our marriages? Especially considering that our husbands are NOT our enemies even tho it sometimes seems that way! Hang in there! God knows that you do not deserve to be mistreated. He'll work things out. Look to Him instead of what is going on around you. He is our refuge.