Why all the dabates about contyact no contact, they ahve been going on for years and I don't think they have changed one person's position. I truely believe no contact is wronge, i would not love or respect my hubby if he wasn't involved i can say tyhat and say that and say that and it will not change one persons mind. Someone else can list a million reasons why no contact is the way to go and they can have a thousand supporters behind them and it won't change my opionion. I respect the way everyone feels and i expect the same. I say we ALL stop justifying why we decided to or not to have contact and leave it at that, why justify? For every justification you can give to one side the other side can give a different justification. Lets just say I do or do not have contact and leave it at that. Each person is an individual and each situation is unique so lets just accepts what a person says about contact as being right for THAT person.

Whatif,<P>I agree whole heartedly that a debate that is intended to change a person's mind is useless and unproductive.<P>It still doesn't mean that a discussion on such matters is not warranted or valid. If that were the case many issues in history would have never progess one way or the other, ie. womens voting rights, slavery, prochoice/prolife, segregation, human cloning, war crimes, and the list could go on.<P>It's a wonderful world to live in where there are ideas on all sectrums of life. <P>I for one have been in the situation of both visitation and currently not. I find it very useful to hear other's opinions and how the decisions have affected their lives. It helps me to sort out my emotions by knowing others are living and breathing what I'm going through.<P>And I think many many women here on the forum feel the same way. In fact I'm sure of it. Since they've told me so in other discussion arenas.<P>My point for bring up the other threads and having everyone post where they are at in their lives with regards to visitation is to show those who are disrespectful of others opinions that we have a wide range of women on both ends of the spectrum. Yet we all respect one another and in many cases support those who have chosen an option different than our own.<P>By purpose and intent is to promote the safe enviornment that we have all enjoyed and deserve in this forum. <P>I honestly hope the next time someone comes to this forum "bashing" someone for making a choice they don't agree with, we, instead of firing off indefense, could pull up the threads I posted and suggest they respect the members that were a target of their "attack". I think it would be much more effective and less disruptive than lashing out. The defensive posture that I and others here are guilty of does our forum no justice and makes everyone uncomfortable and hostile. I for one would rather avoid such a conflict in the future.<P>Z.<P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

No contact, no visitation.<P>D-Day was November 1998<P>Catnip =^^=