I've been married for 6 years. In April of 2001, I found out my husband was having an affair with a co-worker. They have been seeing each other for 3 months. During this time I felt his behavior had changed and he grew very distant. I repeatedly asked him was he having an affair and he would alway deny it. Well, I finally got him to admitt that there was an affair.I told him to leave the house at that time. And the first place he ran was to the OW house. He eventually came back after about 3 days. We started talking and trying to make the marriage work. I later found out that the OW was 2 months pregnant. I told him not to have any contact with OW until baby is born.He continued to call her behind my back. I told him I was through and wanted a divorce. He's telling me he loves me and wants to work on the marriage. He also said that he doesn't love her, but he will take care of the baby. I don't know what to do. I have always believed once a cheater always a cheater. I am drained emotionally and mentally. We have 4 children together and I haven't worked in 10 years. I just don't know what to do about this situation. A part of me wants to continue to work out the marraige and the other part of me say I am only prolonging my suffering. I just can't accept that child or it's mother. I feel like I would be sharing my husband with the OW. I've been praying but there is no relief right now. If anyone can give me some advice please write me. Can a marriage be saved when a baby is born through adultery.

Evetta, as I read your post I am feeling your pain. I believe any marriage can saved if both parties are willing to save it and try to "right" some of the "wrongs". Dont stop praying because God is working on you. He is given you strength you need for purposes He only knows. It is hard and will be hard but he will touch you with the answer. I never want to tell anyone what to do with there relationship, because everyone is human and we all do dumb, crazy things. My H had and on again, off again affair. I thought that he was done but wasnt. The last time he saw her she ended up pregnant this was in 97. When that happened I said oh it wont work, but it did. We worked on our marriage, although we didnt see OC for 18 months. I think we needed that time to heal. Now, with court ordered visitation we see his daughter. It was very hard, humiliating, embarrassing but I let God handle what I thought was the worst time in my life. I love to smile and those were the times you would hardly see a smile on my face. So I will pass my smile to you now because I know you need it. Keep you head up and your faith strong, your babies need you too! Write me anytime at Mrswinburn@aol.com

evetta, welcome to the board and to answer your question: yes, your marriage can be saved. I am also SAHM and we are 3 years into recovery of marriage that produced a child of adultery. It can be done! Look for my post "recovery ideas for newbies". Lots of marriages here ARE surviving this trauma! Hang in there, get counseling if you can, keep posting and reading!!<P>Prayers,<BR>J

Just to echo the thoughts above.<P>YES, your marriage can be saved. As long as you and your husband are both committed to that effort. But be prepared for a rollercoaster ride. Even in the best case senarios, our humanness sometimes lets us spin out of control. But once you reach that mountain top, the view is spectacular.<P><BR>Read read read all of the Harley stuff on this site. And post here often when you need, to vent, cry, laugh and share. <P>Z.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.