This is for those of you that have decided to be a part of your oc's life:<BR>I previously stated that I refused to allow myself to be referred to as this baby’s stepmother. I still feel the same way, but I will most certainly refer to myself as just that, a step mother….the reason why???<P>There’s an act called the ‘Grand parents visitation act/right’. This act/statute provides for grandparents/step parents to hav legal visitation with their grandchild/step child, or a child they’ve developed a significant bond with. In short, it protects both the child and the older adult that has shared in a deep bond. I’ll spin a what-if tale for you:<BR>What if you and your spouse decide to be a part of this child’s life? What if this child’s biological mother has a problem with it, but is complying out of fear of legal ramification? What happens to those parental/father rights if God forbid something disastrous happens? If your spouse dies, how will the visitation and custody agreement be carried out? Will you rely on the kindness of the xow to allow you to maintain contact with the child? What if by then you have children of your own and would like for them to maintain contact with their half/sibling? You think he/she would try to assume the responsibility of maintaining this child’s relationship with their paternal grandparents/father’s family? It seems far-fetched, but who 'woulda thunk' we’d be on this message board all those years/months ago when we said our I Dos?<P>I think that would be yet another invasion into my life that I wouldn’t need from this person I wish I could forget? I can imagine her at family reunions, graduations, anniversaries etc. <P>Simply put, think about protecting yourself and your family’s future. Don’t actively relinquish the power and authority that is inherent in being a wife, and matriarch of your own family.<P>o.k….I have control issues, but this is not the time to resolve them.<P>