Hi,<P>I know I said I was probably going to go away, but I'm back. I did pretty well in my week of "absence." I was able to be more productive at work, I read here regularly but kept my reading to lunch time so it didn't interfere with work. I think that I am going to hang around, but try and keep my participation under control. (You ladies are *way* too interesting for your own goods [and mine ])<P>We see the adoption attorney tomorrow morning to try and untangle this mess. I am busy in the Mr. Job's study sending faxes to the attorney, making copies of all our adoption paperwork, etc. I hope this gets us somewhere but I really doubt it.<P>Please keep us in prayer (although God's answer so far has seemed to be "No.") I haven't given up hope yet. <P>Do any of the rest of you struggle with trying to know what God wants you to do? Maybe we were supposed to get the message by now, or maybe this amount of struggling is what God chooses for us. How on earth do you know? How do you know if you are listening to His voice or just fooling yourself? I am not talking about black and white cases here, like "Should I committ adultery? Yes or no?" You know that one is sinful and you know what side God falls on on that one. If you pray and you study, you get your answer.<P>In this adoption mess, there is no moral right and wrong; there is only what does God want for our life and how do we figure that out? I wish he still spoke in burning bushes and horrible boils. Just a little sign, God. That's all I'm asking.<P>MJ

Mrs. J,<BR>EVERY DAY! I was talking with a long time friend the other day about my situation and she is asked if I was staying in my marriage because I thought that is what God wanted me to do. She stated that a priest told her years ago when you enter into a covenant with another person and that other person breaks that covenant than you are no longer obligated to hold up your end of the bargain. <BR>That made me wonder if I was doing this because I heard His message, or because it was what I wanted to hear. I pray every day for a clearer message. I am just holding out for the letter addressed to me from God sent through the usps. <BR>I am just trying to take it one second at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time..........

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mrs. Job:<BR><B>or maybe this amount of struggling is what God chooses for us. How on earth do you know? How do you know if you are listening to His voice or just fooling yourself? <P>I wish he still spoke in burning bushes and horrible boils. Just a little sign, God. That's all I'm asking.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hahaha...you don't want much, do you? <P>Mrs. Job...I am the same way. I am always looking for answers from on high and wondering if I am kidding myself or following His will. I can't begin to comprehend it because of my current state of confusion so I have decided to do everything I must to change the things I can and hope He will give me the grace to accept the things I cannot change. Maybe it goes back to "The Lord helps those who help themselves"...if I do everything humanly possible to attain the goal, then He will help me if I did it according to how He would want me to do it.<P>I agree a burning bush would be extremely advantageous and if this were 50 BC, we might be able to expect God's direct involvement. Sometimes I wish He were more demonstrative to give us a clearer picture so we would know what path to take. I know, Mrs. Job...I certainly understand what you mean as I am asking God for guidnce myself.<P>I will keep you in my prayers, Mrs. Job...I would love to see you get your children...<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^= <P>

Dear Mrs. J,<BR>Add my prayers to the list! <BR>with love,<BR>cd

Mrs. J you have FAITH in God. That's all you need. He will direct you in his own time.<P>I feel you are doing HIS will. I know there has to be a better outcome this time. We do not know HIS reasons for allowing bad things to happen to good people. <P>But a burning bush would be nice, wouldn't it?<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

MrsJ said: Do any of the rest of you struggle with trying to know what God wants you to do?<P>EVERY DAY!!!! The times when I have felt communion with God most is on long solitary walks or meditation, and sometimes when journaling. Prayer is talking to God and meditation is LISTENING to God. I HAVE received His guidance at times, but rarely when I felt desperate for answers. Maybe that is the key... to be okay with WHATEVER His answer may be. Turning it over (Let Go Let God) is tough for me--control freak! <P>Meanwhile, let me know if you hear from that burning bush, okay?!

Jenny,<P>I have to concur. I have only seen the right path when I have given it up to him. Put it totally 100% in his hands and accepted whatever fate he held for me.<P>Mrs. Job, I don't know how or when that state of mind will come for you. But I pray it is a peaceful time when it does.<P>I know in reference to my own marriage, had I let go and let God early on, I'd be divorced today. The fact is that I fought so hard in those first six/seven months that by the time my fight was out of me, my dear husband was able to look back and see all I was doing and finally appreciate it. <P>So by no means do I mean give up your fight. But there will come a time when you have given all you can give and you'll release the burden to God and from there he will show you his will.<P>I pray that his will is merciful. And I'm a firm believer in God giving us burdens and heartbreak for a bigger cause. He has wonderful things in store for you and he's preparing you to appreciate those gifts. Always remember that.<P>Love,<BR>Z.<P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.<p>[This message has been edited by zebrababy (edited August 13, 2001).]