C&Y say that they are going to put in a contempt of court order for us against ow and her mother, just as soon as the case is done being officially transferred to the county the oc now resides in. I just spoke to a caseworker at the new C&y office, and she was EXTREMELY supportive of our position. She said that ow called her on Sunday after the incident wherein grandma's boyfriend forcibly took oc from my h. She said she told ow at that time that she was probably going to be arrested for violating the court order. She said she told ow that she needs to work to make this more positive for oc, so that it is less traumatic for all of us, and that ow was hostile and resistant to her suggestions. She said she informed ow that if h came back to the house, she was to turn over oc immediately. I explained to her that he didn't go back because it was a potentially violent situation, and she said she completely understood that, and that she respected h for handling it in a rational manner. Caseworker asked all kinds of questions about what has been happening, and I gave her the story from day one on. She seemed to be astounded by my willingness to accept oc, and said she admired our courage and determination to do right by her. then she asked, "are you willing to have oc placed with you in the future." I said, "Absolutely! We would be delighted to have her live with us" She told me, "I know this is emotionally draining for you, but you and h are doing a wonderful job with it. Don't give up. You have to keep doing exactly what you've been doing for oc's sake. It's so important that you don't get discouraged at this point." I said, "We are willing to do whatever it takes to help oc, regardless of what we have to go through with ow and her family." She said, "I'm so glad to hear that. Oc NEEDS you and h to fight for her." She said she is going to try to arrange a visit this coming sunday to make up for the one we missed, and will call me tomorrow or friday with details. It is starting to look like C&Y is taking notice of what ow and her crummy family are trying to do. I feel much more hopeful now about the entire thing. Caseworker was also very angry to discover that grandma's boyfriend is NOT married to grandma, because she was told by ow that he is LEGALLY oc's step-grandfather. I said, "goodness, no. They aren't married." She was ticked off to find that she had been lied to only a couple days after getting on this case. Ow and her clan are going to get more and more tangled up in their own web of hostility and lies. I really think we may get oc in the end if we hang in there and stay strong.<P>On a side note, my h did NOT tell his parents about the pregnancy. he called that evening and asked his dad who told him. Dad would not reveal his sources, which makes us both a little angry, because they are so secretive about it, but at the same time, they berated us for not being open and honest with them. Honesty is supposed to go BOTH ways, in my opinion. I did tell h (take note, Terry, I followed your advice ) that I originally suspected h had bragged about pregnancy. he was horrified that I had even had such thoughts, and said, "Don't you have any idea how guilty and remorseful I feel that it even happened. I brag about you, about my sons, and hopefully someday I will be able to brag about oc. But I have never been proud of anything that happened with ow. NEVER." So I feel a lot better now. still a bit perturbed with inlaws, but I'm going to go to see them on Sunday and be pleasant and kind, in the hopes that we can work at developing a better relationship with them. It's the best thing for my h, and the best thing for my kids, too. we'll be fine, I think.<P>Please keep us in your prayers as we develop a working relationship with the new C&Y caseworker. So far, so good. And please keep praying about my little dog. No sign of her yet, and I am beside myself with heartache over her.<P>thanks,<BR>cd

CD,<P>That is just GREAT news!! Maybe with the C&Y being switched, you will have better results. It sounds as if this caseworker is definately concerned, and will do everything possible to put Darling in the safest environment! I will continue to pray for this situation. Can't wait to hear more about their contempt of court order hearing. Will you guys get to be there?<P>I am also glad that you spoke with your H about your suspicions regarding how his F found out about the P. You know, it could have been OW, and she just didn't take it any further when she didn't get the support she thought she would. Who knows? I know how it feels to "make nice" to the in-laws for your H's sake. Now, it seems to be the opposite for H and I, as HE is the one upset w/his parents(mainly mom), and I am the one encouraging him to "make nice". Ironic, huh?<P>I will continue to pray for your dog. Have you looked in the papers, or put a notice in the lost and found in your papers?<P>I am glad to hear some good news in this mess you have w/ow and her family! Keep us up to date on it all!<P>Love,<P>Tigger

Dear CD,<P>In your previous post, you said,<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR><B>...I am so sick and tired of the ongoing drama. I am starting to ask myself what I am doing to myself, and what we are doing to our children, exposing them to this kind of crap? sometimes I think we'd be better off paying the blood money (cs) and staying as far away from ow and her trashy family as humanly possible...somebody please remind me how important it is for me to stay committed to being in this child's life..."</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I WAS going to say that I believe your commitment to your marriage comes first and in order to commit yourself 100% to your marriage (& survive the affair), you need 100% of your sanity! I still do not believe that OWs antics are worth putting up with because she gets in the way of all your good intentions--if not directly, then through her family!!! YIKES!<P>BUT NOW, after reading this post and hearing that you are feeling more hopeful about your situation, I must encourage you to do what God is leading you to do, you know, what will not violate your conscience.<P>From what you previously described, I expect OW and her family to put up a big huge fight tho. Look at what they were willing to risk thus far--lying to the court, manipulating OC with coaching, plotting and scheming with "smarmy politeness," blatantly violating court orders. They have no respect for the court--obviously. They most definitely are not impressed with YOUR good intentions. I could be wrong, but it seems like they could care less about what is best for OC, I mean really???<P>It doesn't appear that they are going to just lie down and give in, IMHO. Are you up to it? Seems to be only the beginning with these people.<P>My belief is that your marriage and your kids come first, before OC, even though you love OC. OC comes with a heavy price (OW-OWs family). If you are willing to pay that price, then more power to you. If you cannot pay that price, I ain't mad at you! (that's slang for I don't blame you!) <P>p.s.I hope your doggie makes his way home. It sounds like you miss him terribly...<p>[This message has been edited by BINthereDUNthat (edited August 15, 2001).]

Dear Cd, <P>I send you an email, I want it to know if some action was taken, against ow and her family. I didn't know that you had post here at marriage builders.<P><BR>I am glad to hear this, it seems the caseworker is on your side. I hope the courts realize that this child can't continue to live in that kind of enviroment.<P>I will keep you and your h in my prayers.<P>with love mina<BR>

Yeah for Mr. and Mrs. Collins! For if God is for us, who can be against us?<P>MJ

<P>(And I told you so... )

Wonderful news CD! <P>I hope that the OW's family finally get what they deserve. Poor darling, she must be so confused by all of this. But once you are able to establish a normal relationship with her, I am sure that things will improve 100%. Children have very short memories, especially at her age.<P>Sorry to hear that your dog has not returned. I know how heartbroken you must be. I will keep praying for her safe return and that C&Y will straighten out this mess and allow you to normalize your relationship with Darling.<P>Prayers to you,<BR>love,<BR>heavenly

I missed this post CD. My H is being taken to court by exOW for visitation. I hope I'm able to be a strong as you are if it come to it. I truly think I would throw in the towel. I sometime feel guilty about it but I think it's exOW responisblity to step forward and be the responsible one. It's her child. And after my dealings with her I do realize if she was a responsible person I wouldn't be on this forum. (H is included in the responsibilty part) Best of luck and I hope things work out for you.<P>Unsure

Unsure...you are right. It is her child, her decision, her choice, her responsibility..not yours. I know the guilt, but just remind yourself that when it is too much.<P>CD....you go girl! They make me so mad...the way they treat poor Darling! They ought to be put behind bars. Thats just MHO. I am so glad C&Y are catching on and I will continue to pray for all of you.<P>Love<P>bw

BW,<P>Thanks for the support.<P><BR>Unsure<BR>

Cd, It is late sat. night, and I think of you at some point either on sat. night or sunday morning. We, too, have our visitation on sundays. I never know what the day or the nightmare of an xow will pull on us. So as I think about all this my thoughts turn to you, your family and the nightmare of an xow you too have to deal with. Stay strong and keep your heels firmly planted in the ground, hope you have a visit tomorrow that goes well. Our xow is over due with her baby from the man she is living with, I am sure by tomorrow she would have had the poor child, unless she is lying to all about her due date, it would not be the first lie she has told. Anyway, have a nice day, prayers and good thoughts go your way, Peace, Gabi1116

cd I wish you well today. If I see one more post on one more thing that family does to you I think I'll scream!<P>You are so persistant. I just can't do that. I truly hope the hand of God guides this visit today.<P>I pray that little girl doesn't act like a lunatic again.<P>Then again look at her family life, you know?<P>Keep us informed cd.<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....